May 2012

North to Canada

by Matt Forney 05.31.2012
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So I’ve decided to change gears. I’m still walking across America to Portland, Oregon. But before I do that, I’m going north to Montreal to cover the student protests. That is, assuming they don’t die out by the time I get there. One of my bigger recent regrets was not joining #OccupyWallStreet before it was [...]

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New Article at The Chef in Jeans: “Cooking for Single Men — Honey Mustard Chicken Breasts”

by Matt Forney 05.30.2012
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Chad Daring, aka the Chef in Jeans, has published this delicious, simple recipe of mine: Being a grillmaster is like being a musician; you need a repertoire of recipes you can call upon at a moment’s notice. Honey mustard chicken breasts is a great one to have; they’re delicious and don’t require much effort to [...]

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Roadkill Nation

by Matt Forney 05.30.2012
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My first experience, if you can call it that, with roadkill was when I was a little kid. I was with my family and we were driving back from my grandparents’ house when we hit a bump in the road. My mom, who was driving, said that we’d run over a chipmunk. Naturally, this upset [...]

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Women Are Just as Socially Retarded as Men

by Matt Forney 05.29.2012
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By now I’m sure you’ve read the CNN article “‘The Demise of Guys’: How Videogames and Porn Are Ruining a Generation,” the latest “man up” shaming piece the MSM has belched out. I’ve written an essay for In Mala Fide addressing its main thesis that will be up later this week; I was going to include [...]

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New Article at Alternative Right: “Planet of the Bitches”

by Matt Forney 05.28.2012
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Colin Liddell has graciously re-posted my “Planet of the Bitches” article at Alternative Right: The average American woman is anything but confident; she’s a neurotic wreck, one missed therapy session from committing suicide. She gulps down antidepressants like candy, she shoves food in her face like a starving Ethiopian, she spends hours a week watching mindless TV shows and movies that [...]

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Byron in Love: A Short Daring Life by Edna O’Brien

by Matt Forney 05.25.2012
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Poetry sucks. Just admit it. Every single one of us hated reading it in school. The older stuff from the Romantic and Victorian periods isn’t so bad, but I’d rather have my fingernails removed then have to read a single line of “free verse” ever again (unless it’s by Stevens or Cummings). Byron is one [...]

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What’s in a Name?

by Matt Forney 05.23.2012
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For the longest time, I hated my name. It’s not hard to see why someone would hate being named “Forney,” what with all the ways that jackasses could twist it around; “Corny,” “Horny,” “Fornicator,” etc. It’s Anglicized from the original “Fournier,” a legacy of my French-Canadian heritage. French last names are pretty common in upstate [...]

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Oh, to Die Young and Leave a Beautiful Corpse!

by Matt Forney 05.21.2012
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Choose life. That’s the unofficial motto of our times. Americans fear nothing more than death. The federal deficit is sky-high because Baby Boomers are abusing Medicare so they can stuff their faces with prescription pills of every variety, anything to postpone the inevitable. Ads for suicide prevention hotlines are ubiquitous, and Christians condemn people who [...]

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BUtterfield 8 by John O’Hara

by Matt Forney 05.18.2012
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Most people have forgotten John O’Hara and this book by extension, one of his finest novels. If they do know BUtterfield 8, it’s only because of the movie based on it, and then only because Elizabeth Taylor won her first Oscar for her role in the film. O’Hara was an immensely talented novelist, referred to by [...]

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Women Are Not the Enemy

by Matt Forney 05.17.2012
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A great post from Simon Grey on why the “woman strike” is going to fail: The second reason is more telling. Aside from a few precious anonymous internet commenters who will undoubtedly descend to the comments section of this post to disprove the assertions of this sentence’s second clause, I doubt that there are any [...]

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The Secret Life of Matt Forney

by Matt Forney 05.16.2012
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Once a week, I drive over to a nondescript music store for a half-hour guitar lesson. The rest of the week, for 15-30 minutes a day, I practice on my own. I assemble my cheap fold-out music stand, pull out my lesson books and go through the exercises. Depending on how much free time I [...]

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Why I’m Not Voting Anymore

by Matt Forney 05.14.2012
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On Election Day four years ago, I was in my dorm room alone, working on an essay to hand in for class the next day. I didn’t bother watching any election coverage, aside from the Daily Show. At eleven o’clock, when the major news networks started calling the race for Obama, some clown came barreling [...]

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Worthless: The Young Person’s Indispensable Guide to Choosing the Right Major by Aaron Clarey

by Matt Forney 05.11.2012
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This review in one sentence: Man, I wish this book was around six years ago. Aaron Clarey (aka Captain Capitalism) is on a mission to save America’s youth from throwing away their money and time on useless college majors. That’s the purpose of Worthless; educate youth as to why most majors are worthless and expose [...]

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Baking Soda Really Does Kill Your Body Odor

by Matt Forney 05.10.2012
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There are a lot of ideas out there that work despite sounding either counterintuitive or downright insane. Like the idea that you’ll get laid more simply by being assertive and confident, or that you can completely eliminate B.O. with ordinary household baking soda. Roosh was responsible for pioneering this method, and let me tell you, it [...]

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Calorie Counting for Your Brain

by Matt Forney 05.09.2012
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One of the things I’ve resolved to do as part of my journey is severely curtail the amount of crap I read online. An “information diet,” as Tim Ferriss puts it. Here are some examples of what I’m getting rid of: Politics. What a complete waste of time. No matter whether Obama or Romney becomes president, [...]

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Nobody Gives a Fuck About You

by Matt Forney 05.08.2012
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This is something that took me a long time to realize, but it’s the cold, hard truth. Of course, I’m being hyperbolic with that title. If you’ve got parents, siblings, friends, a girlfriend/wife etc., they care about you. If you’re famous, you’ve got even more people who care about you. But if you’re just an [...]

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