How to Crush a Girl’s Self-Esteem

depressedgirl

I’ve established in the past that high self-esteem in a girl is as attractive to men as a hidden penis. All else being equal, any man with a sack will choose an insecure girl who lives to please him over a Strong, Independent Woman™ every time. But because of you-go-grrl propaganda encouraging girls to behave like ersatz men, few if any women can admit their desire to submit to the whims of a man.

How do you smash through the veneer of confidence that girls possess?

Merely banging a girl isn’t enough for a man: he needs to possess her very being to be satisfied. All girls have an innate desire to sign themselves over to a man’s dominion, and if you know how to play her emotions, you can be that man. If you’re in a relationship with a girl, this is how you can crush her self-image and own her mind, body and soul.

1. Constantly make her feel inadequate.

You should rarely give her unqualified praise. Every time she does something for you, find out what she did wrong and remind her of it. If you can’t find any problems, make some up. For example, if she makes English muffins for you, point out that she burned them just a tad too much or didn’t let the butter melt quite long enough. If you’re worried about her getting fat, make an innocuous comment about how she’s getting “hefty” or “big.”

Nothing she does can ever be good enough for you.

When you’re chastising her, it’s paramount that you not sound angry or whiny. If you insult or complain to her, you’ll provoke a defensive reaction and she will resist you. Instead, you should always sound calm and collected, like you’re talking about the weather. Denigrating her in a neutral-but-firm fashion will trip her submissiveness circuitry, making her think about how she can better serve you. And every time she reaches the goalposts, you move them, forcing her to play an eternal game of catch-up.

This technique works even better if you can identify your girl’s Achilles’ heel and hammer away at it. For example, one of my exes was a former fat girl who had slimmed down just prior to me meeting her, giving her a massive complex about gaining weight. One day, we were walking to a diner for lunch when this happened:

GF: I think I’m gonna have the Big-Ass Burger.

Matt: You sure about that? Think you’re getting a little thick around the middle.

(Matt pokes GF in the tummy.)

GF (angry): DON’T DO THAT!

Matt: Oh c’mon, at least you’ll be warm in the winter.

End result: she ordered a salad and a glass of water. Fat shaming works!

Additionally, you should criticize your girl for everything, no matter how minor. Julian O’Dea pioneered the idea of applying the “broken windows” theory of crime to managing your girl. The concept is that if you criticize girls for minor mistakes, they’ll be less likely to commit major ones, as their mental energy is expended on dealing with your every complaint. For example, if you constantly critique the way she dresses, you won’t be arguing with her over whether she should get a tattoo or nose piercing to express her “individuality.”

Take this idea and run with it. Every time you find fault with your girl—even if it’s something you really don’t care about—hammer her on it. If she doesn’t reply to your texts quickly enough, chastise her. If she doesn’t make dinner the exact way you like it, chastise her. Hold her to a high standard and keep pushing it higher, ensuring she can never meet it… though it won’t stop her from trying.

2. Dominate her physically and sexually.

Repeatedly violate her boundaries in small, petty ways, small enough that she’ll feel petty for complaining to you. For example, if you’re into anal sex and she’s not thrilled about it, the next time you take her from behind, stick your finger into her asshole. If she doesn’t like facials, cum in her hair instead. Lightly clasp your hand around her throat during sex like you’re going to choke her. (Do not actually choke her. That is dangerous.) Smack her on the behind when you’re out in public. The possibilities are endless.

The message you want to send her is simple: it’s not her body anymore.

Most girls want you to dominate them anyway, but the rationalization hamster and their conscious minds prevent them from articulating this desire. This is the broken windows theory at play: if she lets you get away with minor violations of her boundaries, she’ll accede to your bigger demands later on, letting you mold her into the perfect plaything. If she doesn’t violently resist getting her anus fingered, a little more pressure and you’ll be full-on sodomizing her, grinning as she whimpers between each thrust. Never ask her for anything, because asking is begging, and begging is contemptible.

3. Isolate her from her friends and family.

You need to be the primary emotional influence in her life, and you can’t do that if she’s leaning on anyone else for support. Gradually wean her from contact with anyone other than you. The easiest way to do this is to get to know her friends and family, scan them for character flaws, and then plant seeds of doubt in her mind. For example, if her mother is divorced:

“Man, it’s sad that your parents aren’t still together. Do you think misery loves company?”

Or if she has a friend who is known for being unable to maintain a relationship:

“Chelsea’s gone through three boyfriends in the past year. You think she’ll ever find a man?”

Like with point one, you want to frame your comments in a firm-but-neutral manner. If she suspects you’re attacking her loved ones, she will instinctively side with them. You want her to sever ties with them of her own volition by making her think that her friends and family are untrustworthy and trying to sabotage her chances at happiness… with you.

On this same token, you should limit her use of Facebook and other social media if possible, as well as limit the amount of time she spends with anyone other than you (work/school excluded). Any avenue through which she can gain affirmation from someone other than you is one you want to choke off. Not only will this increase her emotional dependence on you, it will make her more willing to please you; she’ll be less likely to wreck the relationship if she knows she’ll be all alone if it goes south.

4. Reward her at random intervals.

If you’re all stick and no carrot, eventually even the most desperate female will shove off. As a result, you need to pat her on the head and tell her she’s been a good girl every so often.

But you can’t reward her for specific things; you have to be completely random with your praise.

Ever wonder why slot machines are so addictive? It’s because of pareidolia, the human tendency to try and divine patterns where none exist. Casinos take advantage of this by rigging their slot machines to pay out at random intervals, tricking people into trying to discern a winning strategy when there isn’t one.

This is how you should treat your girl. If you reward her every time she does good, she’ll see the pattern and use it to manipulate you. But if you reward her at random, her little hamster brain will run itself ragged trying to figure out your endgame. You want her to keep pulling the lever, praying for a payout and occasionally giving it to her, not letting her notice all the effort she’s burned in getting it.

5. Give her an emotional release.

Emotions are to girls as semen is to men, and if girls can’t release them, they get the psychological equivalent of blue balls. In the absence of masculine discipline, your girl will vent her emotions in unhealthy ways (starting arguments with you, taking antidepressants, whining on her Tumblr), so you need to bring the firm palm of authority down on her rear-end sooner rather than later.

One solution that seems to work for a lot of couples is Domestic Discipline, where the girl is spanked every time she acts up or in some cases just because. Christian Domestic Discipline fuses this idea with Biblical marriage. By spanking a girl until she starts crying and sobbing, you give her an emotional release, turning her into a soppy puddle of goo and making her more inclined to serve you. As a friend of mine put it, all girls crave spankings; it’s their way of making up for Eve’s sin.

6. Fuck her like it’s your last day on Earth.

This is the glue holding all the other points together. You absolutely must have good cocksmanship if you want to ruin a girl’s self-esteem. Girls are enslaved to their vaginas as much as men are to their penises, arguably more so because their overconfidence makes them more likely to make mistakes. Girls will do anything for a man who can fuck them good: flee the country to be with him, lie for him, and in extreme cases kill for him.

If you don’t believe this, it’s because you’ve never inspired that level of passion in a girl.

If you haven’t already, brush up on your bedroom technique. Your dick is heroin, she’s the junkie and you’re the dealer. Tiresias’ wisdom—that girls experience nine parts of sexual pleasure for every one part that men receive—is what makes this arrangement possible. If you can make her cum on a regular basis, she’ll side with you over her parents, her friends, everyone.

Additionally, don’t make her cum every time you have sex. Think like a dealer: you give the customer the pure stuff when you want to get them hooked, and when they’re addicted, you sell them shit that’s been cut with rat poison to increase your bottom line. Like with point four, rationing out her orgasms at random will keep her on her toes trying to satisfy you.

A girl without a man is like a flower without sunlight. Without a guiding masculine hand, she will shrivel and die. Encouraging girls to have high self-esteem to find fulfillment is like encouraging kids to get protein by eating fast food: a poor substitute for the real thing.

Deep inside, every girl is screaming for a man to put her in her place.

I hope my advice helps men across the world bring their wives and girlfriends to heel. And the best part of all this? When your girl submits, she’ll be doing it of her own free will… or at least she’ll think she is.

Good tidings to you.

Read Next: The Case Against Female Self-Esteem

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  • TedWest

    first

  • http://gravatar.com/oziboy Pen

    When you said you upgraded your server, I knew something was coming !

  • https://plus.google.com/117660145608296577784 Feather Blade

    I want this man’s cock so bad.

    [CensorBot sez: Not freely offered.]

  • http://www.none.com joe shitkicker

    Matt Forney, you are a hero to all Men and all Women the entire world over, although especially in the West.

  • Jim

    Actually, these so=called “Strong, Independent Woman” are actually very insecure. That’s why they have such a huge chip on their shoulder. You need to find a girl whose happy being one not a girl who wants to be a man.

  • http://vitabenedicta.wordpress.com vitabenedicta

    I actually liked your first article on female self-esteem–but this one, if it’s actually meant to be serious and not satirical, is just too flawed.

    Criticize every little thing she does? That’s nitpicking and nagging, which is a girly trait. It makes more sense for a man to be HONEST. Don’t ovepraise her and tell her “this is the best sandwich anyone has ever made for me!”, but also don’t nag her because she cut it into rectangles instead of triangles.

  • BB753

    This ties in beautifully with your most insightful piece ever: The Necessity of Domestic Violence.

  • http://mattforney.com/ Matt Forney

    BB753: I no longer agree with that article fully (mainly, I don’t think men should hit women, though I still have no sympathy for women who get hit; most of ‘em had it coming), but point taken.

  • Blaster

    All else being equal, any man with a sack will choose an insecure girl who lives to please him over a Strong, Independent Woman™ every time.

    All else being equal I prefer a confident girl secure in her desire to please me. Although self-esteem by itself is neutral as a sexual attractor, real self-esteem (not the inflated kind implied by “strong independent woman) is positive as a relationship factor.

  • http://www.scartissue.us walderschmidt

    Very interesting post. I imagine it will be very controversial too.

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  • baguazhang

    I don’t mind self esteem as long as it’s put to good cause. As in, not being a left wing shitweasel whining about hurt feelings all day.

  • oh my god

    This is like… abuse…. this is a fucking guide on how to abuse your girlfriend and turn her into a quivering, broken mess. I mean, if that’s what you want…. then you are an asshole, my friend.

  • nice guys finish last

    Yeah because “fuck her like it’s your last day on Earth” is abuse.

  • Julian O’Dea

    Anything which promotes a man having any power in his relationship with a woman gets called “abuse”.

  • Warrior_Savant

    The best part about this post is the unspoken truth it speaks. The taboo nobody would publicly admit to, but deep down knowingly enjoys it exists.
    Every girl reading this would vehemently shake her head NO, but her inner girl is nodding and licking her lips…

    Well done sir. Specifically, “Never ask her for anything, because asking is begging, and begging is contemptible.”

    That’s abuse!!
    Just like lifting weights is abuse on your muscles right?
    On the contrary m’am, it’s just training. Things must be broken down, to be built back up.

  • http://gravatar.com/vincentvinturi Vincent Vinturi

    Great article.

    The only notion I disagree with is that being a submissive, feminine woman is equivalent to having low self-esteem.

    Quite the opposite, it’s the mannish, career-driven feminists who have no fundamental sense of their worth as women, which is why they seek to fill the void with pursuits and ideologies.

  • LL

    #3 is one of the first indicators of emotional abuse,

    http://www.health.umd.edu/mentalhealth/sarpp/relationship

  • LL

    So like this?

    http://www.mvwcs.com/redflag.html

    I am not against men having power in a relationship (I do all the housework/cooking with my bf), but the fact that you want to crush a girl’s self-esteem really sounds awful.

  • Wrong.

    Let’s look at this from an opposite point of view for a moment, shall we?

    When there’s a girl who spends time with her significant other, and ‘isolates’ him from their friends and family, hey are considered clingy, and are expected to be dropped like a hot coal. Yet, you are saying that one is supposed to isolate the girl. Double standard much? Isolating someone from everyone else other than you, shows that you are quite sick and twisted, and very full of yourself.

    Picking on every little thing, even when there are no flaws, will in fact make someone not willing to do everything that that person wishes. Finding flaws in everything is nitpicking, and makes one seem like a person who in actuality, is insecure about themselves, because they know they could never do as we’ll as the person who’s thing hey are complaining about. If a girl did that for you, saying that you didn’t fix the car properly, or fill the tires to the exact amount, you would stop doing it, and again, drop the girl.

    Hitting someone until they cry is in fact domestic abuse, no matter what you think. That’s not a loving thing, because you are hitting someone against their will. If a woman hit you repeatedly, you would leave her. That is what a girl should do if a man does that to her.

    Saying that her body doesn’t belong to her is saying that a girl isn’t a human being and is worth less than a corpse. Even dead people have bodily anotamy, and if the person did not specify what they wanted to be done to their body, nothing canbe done to them, nothing can be donated. Doing things to a girl against her will, and skating right on the line of what was said and unsaid is making her into nothing.

    Bring up your standards and go in the graveyard for a quick bang if you think that way. You’d respect the corpses more.

    Also, warrior_savant, by saying that things need to be trained before they are built back up means that you believe women need to be trained. That puts them at the same level as dogs. Before you compare it to training muscles, let me explain that you are the one training your muscles, not someone else doing it for you, against your will.

    Nice guys finish last, I also have something to say to you. ‘Fuck her like it’s your last day on Earth’ is abuse, because it isn’t for her own good, it’s only for yours. You aren’t thinking of her, it’s all for your own benefit.

    That’s wrong.

  • lifeunivers42

    Interesting article, most point seem to be pretty spot on to make her want to please you.

    But I must disagree with point 3, at least partially. You don’t want to make her leave her social support circle, unless you want to hear all her complain, she have girlfriend for that. You may want to curtain people who have a negative influence on her. I must say that since most people are the sum of the 5 people nearest them you may want to know and influence who she hangout with. Depending on the people she may become more agreeable and feminine.

    If you want to isolate her so she remain beside you, that’s a bigger tell on who you are.

    P.S. nice article there will be a lot of feminazi anger on that one. You should also post it on ROK for maximum exposure.

  • M

    Where the hell where you last summer when I actually had a girlfriend before she left me for acting like a pussy? If I had gotten an intellectual bitch slap like this she might have stuck with me!

  • nice guys finish last

    > Nice guys finish last, I also have something to say to you. ‘Fuck her like it’s your last day on Earth’ is abuse, because it isn’t for her own good, it’s only for yours. You aren’t thinking of her, it’s all for your own benefit.

    Gonna just quote that for emphasis and leave it here to speak for itself.

  • http://davidcollard.wordpress.com/ Julian O’Dea

    With feminists, it is all a zero-sum game.

  • Warrior_Savant

    “Every girl reading this would vehemently shake her head NO, but her inner girl is nodding and licking her lips… ”

    C’mon Wrong.
    ….You know you are sweety.

    And the muscle/woman metaphor is accurate. Your woman belongs to you, and you to she. But as a man, you train her as to what behavior will be or will not be acceptable. Just as you train a muscle to do exercises it hasn’t or couldn’t before. Just as you train a puppy that peeing in the house is unacceptable. The woman conversely commands your affection, love and protection. Sans training.

    What the hell do you think game is? And why does it work so well?

    It’s called operant conditioning. I know this objectifies women and I should care, but I have a lot to do, so yada yaday yada.

    i’m not a PUA by any means and use more of an “inner game” but Matt is talking relationship game here, and it’s solid inside baseball fyi.

  • Brz

    “Constantly make her feel inadequate”, “Isolate her from her friends and family”.

    Oh yes, of course, I’m pretty sure one can transform another person into its personal little pet by isolating him and destroying in him every notions of self esteem. There’s a lot of evidences out there suggesting that one can do it pretty easily on various types of people : rich, poor, men, women,…, as long as the target already has a low self esteem, if you pick them at the right moment, when they’re week, when they seek punishment, with a little patience, you can transform them into whatever you want. How do you think so many normal people can found themselves trapped in cults, huh?

    Once you’ve successfully ruined the self confidence of the object, completely isolated her, made her feel inadequate and slave to your approval, you can even start beating the shit out of her, for no reasons, when you’re angry, when you need to gain some cheap confidence boost or just to get your dick hard. She’ll stay anyway, she thinks she deserves it.

    After you managed to find your submissive little slave, you’d maybe want to know what it means to be a guy who need to make his partner feel inadequate and isolate her from her friends and family in order to control her and make his dick hard.

    Well, as for me, the first word which comes to my mind when I think about a man who needs to abuse a woman to have a boner isn’t “alpha” but it’s probably because I’m a beta white knight who manages in all his betattitude to have an erection in front of a woman who doesn’t feel like shit.

  • Mira

    This is fucking disgusting, no wonder the one example you give I’d a relationship is with an EX no woman in their right mind would touch you with a barge pole. You’re the kind of extremist religious conservative bastard that keeps the world stuck in the past. Take your head out of the sand and look at reality. Woman are psychologically equal to men on every level. This is not an article on the faults with women but a blatant example of your own masculinity crisis. A good man is sensitive, respectful, empathetic and honest- as is a good woman, we are one and the same, a fact that has long been accepted. Go back to your garden of Eden and remove your ribs so your able to suck on your own snake for the rest of your sad lonely life.

  • Travis

    @Mira,
    “A good man is sensitive, respectful, empathetic and honest”

    I agree. He’s also a man who doesn’t get laid. He’s a man that women don’t respect. He’s a man that women take advantage of. Being a “good man” no longer holds any benefits for the man. In today’s modern society, being a “good man” is the equivalent of being a chump.

  • Eddie

    I just shit myself.

    [CensorBot sez: Go clean up.]

  • Wrong

    @Travis,

    Then you’ve been dating the wrong girls. Contrary to what you seem to believe, not all girls like jerks. The reason that girls date so called ‘jerks’ is because they can do things you can’t. Usually ‘nice guys’ only call themselves ‘nice guys’ and expect girls to fuck them right away.

    Newsflash: We don’t work that way.

  • Carina

    I want this man in my mouth.

    [CensorBot sez: Send nudes to therealmattforney [at] gmail [dot] com.]

  • baguazhang

    “Woman are psychologically equal to men on every level.”

    I woke my girlfriend laughing at this.

  • Cobert

    And fighting out of the blue corner, from Jena…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master–slave_dialectic

  • aeh

    Rubbing my clit to this post.

    [CensorBot sez: Keep it to yerself, lady.]

  • https://www.facebook.com/naffissaa Anastasia Rainbow

    I had a colleague. Her daughter’s husband did have all those techniques mastered on the girl, he really killed all her self-esteem. But she was a strong woman, she got out of it with all her strenght and power. What did the husband do? He killed her, cut her body in parts and hid in different places.
    My ex had right the same methods on me. Really, I was reading the article as if I was reading my life. It took me 3 years to try to get rid of him. Now I still can’t regain my self-esteem, I visit a therapist, I take antidepressants, but still can’t get back to normal.
    I hate you for writng this. Burn in hell. please, with all the maniacs who don’t know how to simply LOVE a person.

  • Alicia

    Me sexy lady. I come all the way from Russia to fornicate with strong American man, like the author of this article.

    [CensorBot sez: Do svidanya.]

  • Alicia

    Back in Russia, we have REAL men, not sissies like these American feminists.

    [CensorBot sez: Heil Putin.]

  • Alicia

    I like when CensorBot spank my ass.

    [CensorBot sez: It's for your own good, you know.]

  • Lady

    I don’t know if you’re just trolling or you just have a really sick mind.
    In any case, people who think like you (and there are plenty, unfortunately) deserve to be hung by their balls until they fall off, then kicked up to a bloody pulp, then cut into pieces no bigger than a stamp, then burned, then dissolved in acid. For a start.
    Of course, no woman who has a minimum of sanity would touch you with anything that is not a heavy iron bar.

  • TedWest

    wow “Lady” sure knows a thing or two about people who have a sick mind. scary.

  • Castaigne

    Hey everybody, look at what a huge pussy I am! Marvel at how I put words in peoples’ mouth to make them look bad! Tremble at how ineffectively I try to convince you that I’m actually getting laid! Truly, I am a manly man, because I reshpect women.

    [CensorBot sez: P-U-S-S-Y, you ain't got no alibi.]

  • http://www.jesussaves.com The Devil

    I was liking most of your stuff, however, after reading this I’ve decided any decent father or brother would probably kill you before allowing their relative to marry you. This is like Islam on steroids translated to the West….

    Particularly the part where you isolate them from their surroundings so they are your servant with no other social influences or interests. What is your problem? I do hope a feminazi saws off your cock, as you deserve each other.

  • M.

    We’re already well aware of these behaviours, and we already have a term for them. We call it “arousing.” It is closely related to “sexy.”

    [CensorBot sez: Correctified.]

  • https://www.facebook.com/halina.zatsenka Halina Zatsenka

    Fuck her like it’s your last day on Earth(c).
    ….don’t understand…after burger’s story Matt still hoping to be laid?))

  • Emma the Emo

    Can’t figure this one out. Is there any meaning in this article beyond the straightforward “An insecure wreck of a woman is hot and good for a man, this is how you get one of your own and you should”? If there is satire, I’m missing it.

    I get that some people like this sort of thing (people looking for victimhood will find their victimizer), but this is just cruel. Do you really like THIS level insecurity?.. Some vulnerability is adorable, but this is inviting trouble into your life.

    Just so you know, a person who always expects sharp criticism soon becomes a skillful liar.

    On a positive note, at least it’s a good list of things to watch out for.

  • http://standingagainsttheworld.wordpress.com infowarrior1
  • http://mattforney.com/ Matt Forney

    Infowarrior: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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  • http://infowarrior1.wordpress.com infowarrior1
  • Jazz

    Very interesting article i have to say…though I think most of this need to developp a very dominant relatioship reeks of male insecurity, as if you cant find a middle ground between being empathic and still having her respect so you just seek to nulify her

  • Rachel

    This is some scary sociopathic level manipulation right here. So unorthodox it comes off as satire.

  • LAchlan

    Yeah, my auntie went out with a guy like you. She stabbed him nine times then left him in his own blood and piss while she made a cup of tea, then called an ambulance for him.

  • http://mattforney.com/ Matt Forney

    LAchlan: So your aunt is a murderous psychopath? Thanks for sharing.

  • Butt-Boy

    I wanna get buttfucked by my girlfriend.

    [CensorBot sez: There's toys for that.]

  • John

    I recently read a story about a woman who set her abusive and rapist ex-partner on fire. Fingers crossed the author’s victims do the same to him.

  • Merbo

    I’m a virgin.

    [CensorBot sez: I can tell.]

  • Laughs

    I’m shitting my pants right now.

    [CensorBot sez: TMI.]

  • Laughs

    Ohhhhhh my God, it’s running down my legs and pants! Just one brown river of icky, icky goo!

    [CensorBot sez: Try Depends.]

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  • gilgamesh

    #3 would sounds insidious but her family is probably shit anyway.

  • http://caprizchka.wordpress.com caprizchka

    Thanks for articulating my ex-husband’s method.

  • Narciso

    The problem with this article is not your advocacy of (a) going for “insecure” girls, alone, nor of (b) housebreaking techniques, alone.

    Nope, it’s your advocacy of these … together.

    Fish, barrel, etc. Where’s the challenge in dominating a girl who could be dominated by anyone with at least 4 neurons?

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  • Dave

    Solid

    BUT this is only the dark side.

    Of course you want to lead her and love her and desire her.

    But the situation is dire and more dark arts are needed.

  • R.L.

    I love getting plugged in the butt with dildos.

    [CensorBot sez: You're gay. #NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat]

  • Gayboy

    My comment was retarded, therefore you had to censor it with a middle school level gay joke because I’m not worthy of a more intelligent insult.

    [CensorBot sez: Exactly.]

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  • dan

    What a pathetic white knight I am. I will get asphyxiated by my 400-pound girlfriend soon.

    [CensorBot sez: RIP.]

  • Got No Balls

    What this boils down to is ‘I’m a fag.’ Just how bad was I bullied in highschool?

    [CensorBot sez: You deserved it.]

  • Got No Balls

    I’ve always wondered, why does CensorBot censor stupid comments? Because idiocy is a crime on MattForney.com. CensorBot is judge, jury and executioner, and there is no higher court of appeal.

    [CensorBot sez: Justice has been served.]

  • Still Got No Balls

    The way I keep leaving retarded comments like this says volumes about my own self-esteem and the validity of my ideas. Also, I sound like a complete loser.

    [CensorBot sez: Exactly.]

  • David

    Please, are there any girls out there who will shove a buttplug in my sphincter? I’M BEGGING YOU…

    [CensorBot sez: There are girls that will do that, but they're all fat.]

  • damn

    “The message you want to send her is simple: it’s not her body anymore.”

    Mmmm yes, please, take me!

    [CensorBot sez: u hot?]

  • John

    This is awesome. Helping men and women back into their natural roles is a great thing.

    [CensorBot sez: Right on.]

  • http://oliviabatchelor.wordpress.com livwholikestowrite

    Mmmmm, rubbing my clit back and forth, mmmmm…

    [CensorBot sez: Keep it to yourself.]

  • anon

    Dear Matt,

    I’m your number one fan! I check your blog five times a day and I’ve read all your posts at least ten times! But this one is my favorite. The language, the forcefulness… I can almost feel you whispering in my ear at night when I go to bed. I would love nothing more than to meet you in person.

    Sincerely,

    [REDACTED]

    [CensorBot sez: Your dedication is admirable.]

  • Annabel

    From the title to the last line, this article is sexy. I actually couldn’t tell if this was a joke or not because it is hard to believe that this masculinity exists in the 21st century. I felt aroused reading it, to think that women can still find men like this and that you are promoting these beliefs. It is people like you who are making society a better place. Please make love to me.

    [CensorBot sez: We shall consider it.]

  • Abott

    I really, really, really want to taste this man.

    [CensorBot sez: That can be arranged...]

  • John

    I like inserting pen caps in my dick.

    [CensorBot sez: Thanks for that.]

  • http://gravatar.com/wunjothurisaz wunjothurisaz

    I like getting banged in the ass.

    [CensorBot sez: Not surprising.]

  • https://plus.google.com/104128483527486322851 Kairii Song

    Please make love to me.

    [CensorBot sez: Not with that flinchy duckface.]

  • Fuck You

    As one bro to another. Your a bit stupid, at least it keeps you happy all year. Should I follow the rest of your guide and destroy your self esteem. You cock munching ass licking dumb stupid piece of shit. You, you sir are the absolute laughingstock of the absent minded. People in comas have more sense than you.

  • Notmy Name

    If you have to emotionally abuse a girl in order to get her to stay with you, you really should re-think your relationship. I bet at least a third of people who read this will get ladies who aren’t that down with being treated like shit and will start hitting them to keep them in line. Source: my ex boyfriend put me in the hospital for a week because I wouldn’t put up with this kind of shit anymore. Just putting it out there that yes there are, in fact, girls who are into this, but don’t think it’ll work on all of them. They need genuine love too. Be careful or you might end up seriously screwed with a reputation that won’t come clean.

  • #yousalty XD

    I’m ‘tarded.

    [CensorBot sez: I feel for you.]

  • Rick Eta

    I’m gay.

    [CensorBot sez: So?]

  • http://www.last.fm/user/HolyVictoria anon

    I want to suck your dick.

    [CensorBot sez: We get that a lot lately.]

  • Xoxoyouareadick

    Please, I want you in my mouth.

    [CensorBot sez: Only if u hot.]

  • Never Got a Good Deep Dicking

    Oh god, I’m sick of these carpet-munching dykes! I need a REAL man!

    [CensorBot sez: Grow out your hair and we'll talk.]

  • Hutchy117

    I am gay.

    [CensorBot sez: Yep.]

  • noneofyourbusiness

    Oooh, yes, mmmmm, oh, oh, OH! Yeah… this post was great.

    [CensorBot sez: Cucumber or zucchini?]

  • Phaedra

    Hmmmm, yes, right there…

    [CensorBot sez: Open onanism is discouraged on MattForney.com.]

  • Dylan

    I’m inadequate in all aspects of life. Particularly the penis department.

    [CensorBot sez: One-inch Mitch.]

  • Jack

    I’ve never gotten laid.

    [CensorBot sez: We can tell.]

  • Ngawai

    Mmm, yes, I’ve been looking for a man like this.

    [CensorBot sez: With Matt's help, ALL men will be like this.]

  • Princeton2012

    Fact: I have never had an orgasm, no one would fall for my feminist rhetoric.

    [CensorBot sez: Your pontificating scares all the boys away from the yard.]

  • Stu

    Somebody please kick me in the fleshy patch where my nuts used to be.

    [CensorBot sez: Gladly.]

  • Princeton2012

    Hahahahaahaa the way I keep commenting here is pathetic. I’ll have fun dying alone.

    [CensorBot sez: We will mourn your passing.]

  • Princeton2012

    Who said I was a feminist? My constant whining gives it away.

    [CensorBot sez: Of course.]

  • Princeton2012

    Hey, look at me! Still leaving comments on a site where the owner censors them! I must be really desperate for attention.

    [CensorBot sez: Go beat your meat or something.]

  • Evangeline

    I want to wrap my lips around this man’s meat pole.

    [CensorBot sez: That can be arranged...]

  • jake321

    the author of this comment is obviously 5ft 2 with small-man syndrome and a tiny dick

    [CensorBot sez: Yes, you are.]

  • jake321

    HAHAHAHA google me if you want a laugh, no wonder I’m gay

    [CensorBot sez: Not that there's anything wrong with that...]

  • jake321

    PLEASE I NEED A BUTTPLUG IN MY BUTTHOLE WAAAAAH!!!!111

    [CensorBot sez: lol]

  • Stacy

    I want this man’s baby.

    [CensorBot sez: Nice.]

  • Sophie

    It’s awesome men like you that are helping the human race progress.

    [CensorBot sez: Aww, thank you.]

  • Elle

    I want to be this man’s girlfriend.

    [CensorBot sez: Seriously people, answer the g-d question before you offer marriage proposals: ARE. YOU. HOT?]

  • Sophie

    I really really want to make love to this man.

    [CensorBot sez: Yes, he gets that a lot.]

  • I Am a Fucking Twat

    Please let me suck your cock.

    [CensorBot sez: Are you hot?]

  • http://fsfdgsgdf asdajdasdada

    I’m gonna kill myself.

    [CensorBot sez: Don't. You have so much to live for.]

  • chivalryaintdead

    What happened to treating your woman like she is the most precious thing in your lift, yet having the will power to put your foot down when its needed. Women have the same ability to put their foot down in a relationship as men do, and in a truly loving relationship each person have equal standing and equally heard voice. Clearly if you need to employ sure tactics in order to keep your woman, you clearly are not in a relationship that works or one that is based on true love and commitment for each other. Enough said on that

    All I want to say to the feminists is that the world was a nicer place before the feminists tried to kill chivalry thinking its a man demeaning a woman when in fact its a man just being a nice man, he is being polite and courteous towards you not stating that you are emotionally or physically beneath him. There are things that men can do to a higher degree of success than women can do, using the law of averages as a guide, and mostly that lies in the physicality of the task, as men are genetically more physically able. Now I am not saying woman are weak, by no means are they I am just stating scientific fact that the average man is stronger physically than the average woman. So when a man next tries to help you with something, holds a door open,or offers to carry that 25kg bag of dog food to your car, don’t automatically rip his head off for apparently putting you down and trying to undermine you are a human, try thinking that 9 times out of 10, those guys were brought up not dragged up and were taught to respect a woman and treat them accordingly, cos if I’m honest, if every guy started letting doors go and watching every woman struggle without helping what so ever, well lets just say the none feminists would be asking where all the “real” men went.

  • Jay

    I like to get fucked in the ass with dildos, man.

    [CensorBot sez: Extra-large, no doubt.]

  • ASDF

    I need a cock in my vagina.

    [CensorBot sez: lmao]

  • kengla

    As a girl in a steady relationship, who has seen her Mum treated like this, I can tell you from experience that a relationship like that ends in a painful divorce/break up and months of struggle for the female to get enough self-esteem up just to get by day-to-day. If my boyfriend treated me like this i would be out the door in a flash. Men, if you want a fuck, go to a club, if you want a relationship, find a balance, treat a girl with respect, acknowledge and accept her flaws, loving her because of them and she will pay you the same respect,

  • Riley

    If you can’t tell this is sarcastic and cynical then you need some serious educating.

  • liv

    Fuck me please.

    [CensorBot sez: Only if u hot.]

  • Pepper

    I wanna be with you.

    [CensorBot sez: Well, at least you aren't being graphic about it.]

  • Wilson

    The biggest flaw in your plan is the omigod what am I saying I want to fuck you pleeeaaassseee.

    [CensorBot sez: You sound desperate.]

  • Emma

    Slap my ass and call me a bad girl.

    [CensorBot sez: Sure!]

  • Mon

    I like to fuck myself with dildos.

    [CensorBot sez: U so gay.]

  • dismayed

    I just shit myself.

    [CensorBot sez: Go clean up.]

  • Mayte

    I want to make love to you.

    [CensorBot sez: Get in line.]

  • shameful

    Help me get this buttplug out of my anus.

    [CensorBot sez: Stand up and grease it up. That usually works. If not, call a doctor.]

  • Trystan

    I’m a queer.

    [CensorBot sez: Yup.]

  • you-go-grrl

    I want you to roger me.

    [CensorBot sez: Of course.]

  • Louise

    I was going to write a huge long reply but then realised I only needed to write 2 words – marry me!

    [CensorBot sez: U hot?]

  • wow

    I am pissing myself in glee.

    [CensorBot sez: Ew.]

  • jenniferalice123

    Sounds exactly like my sexy ex. Worst thing I ever did was break up with him.

    [CensorBot sez: Liar. He broke up with YOU.]

  • Nero

    People need to recognize this is (might I add perfectly executed) relationship advice for pretty much all people (read: traditional sex roles). This is real and nobody who isn’t a sniveling feminized faggot thinks this is a bad thing.

    [CensorBot sez: Correctified.]

  • Trystan

    I’m still gay.

    [CensorBot sez: You're still stupid, too.]

  • Trystan

    I hate breeders.

    [CensorBot sez: Your mother was a breeder. #TheTruthComesOut]

  • Louise

    I’m a pathetic fatass whiner.

    [CensorBot sez: No banging fat girls.]

  • nine is just a number

    I want this man to fuck me so hard I forget who I am.

    [CensorBot sez: You sound fat.]

  • http://www.facebook.com/jerry.delaney1 jerrydelaneyjd

    Please, I want you.

    [CensorBot sez: Of course.]

  • https://www.facebook.com/Lucehbeth Lucy Brown

    I want this man to rail me.

    [CensorBot sez: Yup.]

  • Eve

    Yadda yadda yadda new age yOni cunt cult bullshit.

    [CensorBot sez: You owe me a rib.]

  • https://www.facebook.com/Emilyissocoollike Emily James

    i hope one day i get to suck your dick.

    [CensorBot sez: That can be arranged...]

  • teri Stewart

    Please make love to me.

    [CensorBot sez: No.]

  • chris

    I want to kill myself upon reading this article.

    [CensorBot sez: CHOOSE LIFE!]

  • Buzz

    I would marry my daughter to any man who acted like this.

    [CensorBot sez: VICTORY!]

  • Cassy232

    I really, really want to have your love child.

    [CensorBot sez: Wheeeeeeeee]

  • A Woman Who Wants to Fuck You

    Please?

    [CensorBot sez: No.]

  • Heather

    I want to put your cock in my mouth.

    [CensorBot sez: Join the club.]

  • pity

    I wanna suck your cock so hard.

    [CensorBot sez: DO EET]

  • http://gravatar.com/deerstop deerstop

    lol

  • http://sophiealicemay.wordpress.com sophiealicemay

    This has to be a joke. Please say this is a joke. There aren’t any awesome men like this still alive, right?

    [CensorBot sez: Oh yes there are.]

  • Robbie McDonald

    I am a weak-minded pathetic moron who likes getting plugged in the ass.

    [CensorBot sez: That makes you a fag.]

  • trixiejune28

    I really want to have your baby.

    [CensorBot sez: No fat chicks.]

  • Fluffy Dandelion

    I wanna make love to you.

    [CensorBot sez: No.]

  • Lil’ Kitten Girl

    Sounds like every relationship I’ve been in.

  • AM

    Most of the gender issues things on this website I love. But this one is a bit much. Although I love the slot machine part.