House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski


Postmodern writing is almost entirely garbage. The linguistic trickery of writers like Jonathan Safran Foer and David Foster Wallace—piles of footnotes, frequent tone shifts, dialect writing, making the ending of your novel a fucking flipbook—is a mirage to disguise their limp prose and limper view of reality. Infinite Jest is a Calvinist anti-drug morality tale disguised […]

Generation Masturbation


People sometimes say that the way things happen in movies is unreal, but actually it’s the way things happen in life that’s unreal. The movies make emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things really do happen to you, it’s like watching television—you don’t feel anything. Right when I was being shot and ever […]

How to Pick Up Filipina Girls with Online Dating


Online dating is by far the easiest way to get laid in the Philippines. In this video, I give you a basic overview of what sites to use, how to get dates, and how to avoid scammers. Remember to subscribe to my YouTube channel for more updates. Video transcript by Eve Penman. Transcript Hey, all. In […]

Enter the Saint by Leslie Charteris


The idea that popular fiction is a reflection of the zeitgeist is a ludicrously trite statement, but it bears repeating from time to time. Sherlock Holmes was a product of late Victorian hypocrisy and prissiness; Mike Hammer titillated the repressed families of post-World War II America with sex and sleaze; Stephen King spins classic horror tales […]

The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov


Mark Twain once defined a classic as a book that everyone praises and nobody reads. I’ve pissed off so many people in the past by dissing so-called “classic” works—Wuthering Heights, The Great Gatsby and everything by William Wordsworth, among others—for being poorly written, poorly plotted, or just flat-out fake. At best, some of these books were […]

Night Game vs. Day Game vs. Online Game


If there’s one good thing about the Philippines, it’s that living there has forced me to diversify my game arsenal. In the U.S., I was mainly reliant on day game (with the occasional carousing in bars), but the Philippines almost requires you to do night, day and online game in roughly equal measures. At the same […]

The Matt Forney Show, Episode 57: Search Terms Special — “When Will Girl Say ‘Please Put Your Penis in My Asshole?'”


In this episode, I detail my trip back to the U.S. and my experiences with culture shock, discuss why House of Cards is poorly-written and moronic, read aloud funny search terms I got in September, and more. This edition of the podcast is brought to you by Confessions of an Online Hustler, eDatingDoc, Quit Porn Get Girls, The Tinder […]

Listen to My Interview on Hangover Radio


I recently joined Mark Zolo and Dom Torres on their podcast Hangover Radio, talking about my experiences in the Philippines, making a living online, and much more. Click here to listen.