Matt Forney
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All posts by Matt Forney

A Dramatic Reading from MattForney.com, by Davis M.J. Aurini

Long story short: an illiterate nutjob started posting comments both here and at my other blog. I posted them to a private Facebook group of mine for the lulz, and my good friend Davis Aurini decided to do a dramatic reading of one. Listen and be amused: A Dramatic Reading from MattForney.com The comment in […]

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Matt Forney’s Top Ten Albums of 2012

Music sucks, except if I happen to like it. Because of this irrefutable fact, I’ve decided to enlighten you unshaven, Pantera-loving ogres with music that is actually listenable, enjoyable and requires an IQ above 100. Here are my favorite albums of 2012. There was a lot of good shit that came out this year and a […]

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Only Hire Ugly Women

This is a guest post by PseudoPseudonym. Woe is the man with the empty wallet, who shall he hire to clean his house? Shall he do it himself? Nay! Nonsense, man shall not stand for that! But who to hire as he has little money? Alas no man will take this job! Only the likes […]

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Don’t Be Pro-Male, Be Pro-Man

We live in the Age of Equality, in which every dipshit is told that he’s shpecial and that his opinions are worth listening to. Language is muddled and definitions are confused. As a result, thinking itself becomes muddled and confused. Like the conflation of “male” and “man.” MRAs and other losers call me “anti-male” because I don’t support […]

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The Eden’s Thaw Christmas Gift Guide

This is a guest post by Eden’s Thaw. There are only a few shopping days left before Christmas, which means—if you’ve got game—you probably haven’t even thought about what to get your girl(s) yet. Don’t fret though, this guide has got you covered whether you can’t even remember her name or are itching to put […]

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To the Fat Hipster Girl Who Felt Me Up at the Holocene the Other Night

Dear Fat Hipster Girl, It was quite a shock when you came onto me at the Soft Moon concert a couple of nights ago. Thanks to you, I’ve now calculated that I have a 25 percent chance of getting sexually assaulted at any concert I go to. It seems that girls who mosh next to […]

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Notes from the Road: Flee Into the Night

I am an extremely lazy hitchhiker, mainly because I like to sleep in. I’m the kind of asshole who waits until thirty minutes before check-out time to roll out of bed. Fuck your hemming and hawing about “Circadian rhythms”; I know my body, and I know I function better getting up late. Unfortunately, sleeping in […]

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Not Accepting Blame

This is a guest post by Dr. Illusion. For any of you who don’t know much about me: I’m an electrician and I work in an Industrial environment. I talk a lot on my blog about how people need to step up and be accountable for themselves, and to themselves. I just wanted to take […]

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A Middle-Class Douchebag is a Thing to Be

A few days ago, I Tweeted a link to an article at Roosh’s new joint, Return of Kings. (Speaking of which, I’m always auto-posting links to interesting articles to Twitter, displayed on the front page of my blog: compelling reason to visit every hour of every day.) One of my followers responded with this: What is […]

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We Are Free

This is a guest post by Tim. It’s marvelous to live in a free country! Let’s go through my day and give thanks for being so free! I woke up in a house. The house was free to be built with stairs so long as they are at least 36″ wide. It was free to […]

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