This is a guest post by the Captain Power.
Reason #1: You Don’t Work Out
You are too lazy to get to the gym, and your physique is completely grotesque. Your girlfriend will take one look at my body, and with the combination of the sun and strong mixed drinks, the temptation will be just too strong to resist.
Reason #2: You Don’t Have a Job
You can only sell weed and live in your parents’ basement for so long. As soon as I whip out the corporate AMEX to purchase some Coronas, your Xbox and skunk weed won’t seem as appealing.
Reason #3: You Are Boring
Your girlfriend might not mind watching Netflix three weekends in a row, but when she gets offered a free hotel room in Atlantic City, you better believe she is going. She will also bring all of her slutty friends from work.
Reason #4: You Don’t Shave Your Balls
Let’s face it: your genitals are disgusting. They are hairy, they smell bad, and nobody wants to touch them, including her. Once she gets a look at my nice shaved, cleaned-up cock and balls, she is going to want to pet them like a newborn puppy.
Reason #5: You’re Already Cheating on Her
So what’s the difference?
The Captain Power blogs at Captain Power’s Underground Training Site. Also check out his book Don’t Get Married Because You Are Tired of Drinking! The 50 New Rules of Modern Dating.