Matt Forney
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Bang Ukraine: How to Sleep with Ukrainian Women in Ukraine by Roosh V

bang-ukraineMan, I wish I’d read this book when it first came out.

It’s not because I’m particularly interested in Ukrainian or Russian women. I am interested, but I’m also smart enough to know that I were to go to either country right now, it’d be a waste. I enjoyed Bang Ukraine because it goes above and beyond Roosh’s other travel guides to become a truly memorable work in its own right. It forms the missing link between A Dead Bat in Paraguay and Why Can’t I Use a Smiley Face?, a poignant portrait of Roosh’s life abroad.

Part of this is because the book devotes more space to Roosh’s adventures than any of his previous guides. While Bang Ukraine does explain what you need to do in order to swoop Slavic bunnies, the book is much longer than the other Bang guides: it’s over a hundred pages. Close to half of those pages comprise a memoir onto themselves, detailing Roosh’s efforts to crack the Ukrainian code and tales of the girls he beds along the way:

I was less than enthusiastic. I hadn’t bowled in five years and couldn’t imagine it being fun, but I was pleasantly surprised that, for an ass man like myself, bowling is perhaps the best spectator sport there is. For nearly two hours I got to stare at her big ass as she moved, turned, and bent over. I even “helped” her form by positioning myself behind her and showing her the correct way to release the ball. I had many boners during our games.

Ukraine is a place that shatters stereotypes: contrary to Roosh’s expectations, the women are extremely difficult to pick up. While the average Ukrainian girl blows her American counterpart out of the water in terms of beauty and femininity, their icy demeanor and lack of English proficiency keeps them off-limits to all but the most dedicated players. But once you’ve cracked the Ukrainian shell, the reward you get is sweet indeed:

Yuliya’s ass was spectacularly big. She was self-conscious but I complimented it so much that she soon became comfortable cavorting it in my apartment. She had average dimensions for a Ukrainian girl, 110 pounds at a height of 5’4 inches. She had dirty blonde hair, dark eyebrows and her breasts were of average size. Her face was vaguely Slavic face with a slightly large nose and prominent cheekbones. Her eyes were gray or green, depending on how you would look at it.

Roosh’s narrative writing in this book is similar to Why Can’t I Use a Smiley Face?: descriptive without being condescending, he retells his Ukrainian escapades with wit and understatement. The guide part of the book is just as useful and informative as his other Bang guides, so if all you’re interested in laying girls who look like supermodels (but aren’t snobby like supermodels), Bang Ukraine is worth the money for that alone.

If you’re not interested, the book is worth reading for the stories.

Roosh’s perspective in Bang Ukraine is oddly touching. Between the hopefulness of A Dead Bat in Paraguay, the despondency of Smiley Face and the wry resignation of Poosy Paradise, we almost see him grasping towards a different life. The girls he seduces charm him with their easygoing nature and unabashed femininity, melting his heart in a way that we haven’t seen since Bang Poland. You almost wonder if he’s going to give up the booze and the one-night stands to settle down in some quiet little town.

Of course, if he did that, he wouldn’t be Roosh.

The bottom line is that Bang Ukraine is one of those rare books that will satisfy two disparate groups of readers: those looking for practical information and those looking for a good story. If you’re planning a trip to Ukraine, you need this book in order to get the most out of the country’s women. If you just want to read another great series of stories from Roosh, Bang Ukraine is also worth picking up.

Click here to buy Bang Ukraine.

Read Next: Bang Iceland: How to Sleep with Icelandic Women in Iceland by Roosh V