Matt Forney
Spread the Word!

“But Fat People Have Great Personalities!”

fat-people-love-cookies

Last week, during the manosphere’s round of “fat acceptance” trolling/Google bombing, a clueless chubster named Erin chimed in on FFY’s post:

As a fat girl, I was reading the first few paragraphs with this face of disgust. “What? Really? You want to fucking congratulate her on not taking escalator?” I face palmed, BUT! As I kept reading, a smile came to my face. FINALLY! You get it! We, like skinny people, have personalities! Usually they are really fucking awesome personalities because we’ve had to deal with bullying our entire lives, so we have a lot of jokes on the back burner.

I’m bummed it didn’t work out with you and Jennie, but I’m glad she changed your mind a bit! :)

Erin has a blog, where you can read her earthshattering opinions on birth control, body shaming, and sweating (no joke), all delivered with the peculiar mix of arrogance and vapidity unique to women under the age of 25. Boy, there’s nothing I enjoy more than getting life advice from someone younger than me.

But that’s not important. What I want to talk about is Erin’s claim that fat people have “awesome personalities.”

Rule number one of life: anyone who makes a show about having or being something is a faker. People who join “freethinker” groups are conformist sheep; manosphere blog commenters who brag about their ten-strong harems (filled with HB10s, of course) are lonely virgins; and fat people who crow about their “great” personalities are miserable, sulky assholes.

No, not every single fatso is a jerk, but jerkiness is far more common among fatsos than the general population. Fat people are greedy and think the world revolves around them and what they want. They have no discipline or drive, which is how they ended up fat to begin with. Think People of Walmart. Fat women in particular are far more narcissistic and entitled than they deserve to be. While some fat guys tend to be aware of their low social status and try to be decent human beings (raises hand), fat girls have zero manners, class or social tact. On average, thin and attractive women have been far kinder and more polite to me than fat ones.

More importantly, the “fat people have great personalities” argument assumes that being attractive and having a good personality are mutually exclusive.

A generation brought up on Barney the Dinosaur and other saccharine children’s programming has given birth to this wrong, wrong, wrong idea; that attractive people are all shallow, conceited douchebags while ugly ones are kinder and gentler. It’s false; IQ has been shown to be correlated with physical beauty as well as mental stability. It’s like that nerd meme about how you can’t have a girl who is hot, intelligent and emotionally stable, just two of the three.

“But-but-but the reason fat people tend to have mental disorders is because they’ve been BULLIED their whole lives! *sniff*

Bottom line: when you fatasses crow about how being fat endows you with a great personality, you’re full of shit and you know it. I know you know it because I used to be one of you. You’re not fooling anyone. Ugly on the outside equals ugly on the inside.

Read Next: Fat Acceptance is the Future

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If you liked this post then you’ll like Big Lovin’, my 48-page satirical guide on how seduce and bang obese and overweight women. It explains what you need to have before you go chubby chasing, where to find fat chicks, how to woo them with your culinary talents and more. Click here to learn more.

  • Hey Matt!

    I actually just stumbled upon this amazing blog post now. I only wish I had seen it earlier! Thanks so much for the referrals to my blog! I really appreciate it!

    Anyway, I’m glad you had so much time on your hands to go through my blog and continue fat shaming me on your own blog! You could have at least left me an awesome comment to let me know your feelings!

    In other news, hope you’re having an awesome day and I’m honored you took the time to write about me to your endless followers!

    Love and kisses,
    Erin

  • I am such a clueless asshole. OINK! OINK!

    [CensorBot sez: Yes.]

  • Alissa

    Jesus Christ I’m lonely. If your groundbreaking last statement about the ugliness inside dictating the level of attractiveness is the truth, I must look like a fucking zoo animal.

    Keep writing blogs, sir. My parents need a scapegoat for when I finally slit my wrists.

    [CensorBot sez: Please do.]

  • Alissa

    Amazing. My tummy is rumbling. I need to go eat a whole bag of Oreos.

    [CensorBot sez: Coronary in 3… 2… 1…]

  • K

    “Ugly on the outside equals ugly on the inside.”

    Pardon my language, but am I by chance retarded? Yes. Yes I am.

    [CensorBot sez: Durrrrrr…]

  • docillusion

    I have to agree, Matt. Young, hot and feminine women tend to he the sweetest, most down to earth girls I ever meet. Fat bitches tend to be entitled cunts who spend their time talking shit about every girl hotter than they are. It’s ridiculous.

  • docillusion

    Hey Erin, I’ll link your blog if you lose enough weight to wear a size 1. That’s what my girl wears, and she’s had a kid. Come get some you fat whore.

  • Natalie

    Im literally floored that such a bitter, miserable person like me even has anyone believe this crap I call a comment. You literally believe that because you were once fat “apparently” that you are the know all guide to fat people’s lives? Of course you should. I am obviously hurt by your harsh words and since then have a resentment towards anyone who tells me what a fat pig I am. Sorry my life sucks bro but nobody needs to see my bitter useless shit. I need to shut up, get off your computer chair and step into the real world. I need to grow the fuck up and learn basic knowledge. Loser: that’s me!

    [CensorBot sez: The self-pity… it is delicious.]

  • docillusion

    Hey Natalie, why don’t you post a pic? I bet you’re a hideous cunt and no self respecting man would touch you even if you paid him.

  • Natalie

    Haha I really have no life that I am just sitting here commenting on a blog? God, I’m pathetic.

    Oh and to the douche bag who said I’m a hideous cunt, you are so right. Have fun banging your size 1 girlfriend! :)

    [CensorBot sez: Dr. Illusion sends his regards.]

  • Erica

    What a hypocritical, whiney bastard you are!!

    “Personal attacks, flaming, trolling and other idiotic behavior is not allowed. Commenters who are repeatedly rude or belligerent will be banned from commenting, and potentially from visiting the site outright.”

    Yet that’s exactly what you’re doing to Erin! God forbid you even met the girl to write an entire entry slashing her. I went to college with Erin, who is both BEAUTIFUL on the inside and out (and by the way, on a journey to even BETTERING her awesome self).

    As a writer, you should be ashamed. As a human being, you should be ashamed (which you are, apparently – nice self-defense fund BTW).

    Think this comment is RUDE? Oh my, it must be because I’m offended, because I’m fat. Wrong again – I’m a size 2 (because unlike “docillusion” suggests, there’s NO SUCH THING AS A SIZE ONE; you ignorant PRICK). Oh, I almost forgot – you need picture proof; here ya go: http://i.imgur.com/MdfFHWn.jpg

  • docillusion

    Sz 2 is too big, 0 is a little too small. I don’t know shit about chick sizes. Why the Hell is there not a size 1? More dumb chick shit. Guess that explains why she wears a Sz 2 when it’s a little too big.

    Carry on being offended, cupcake. That’s why we are here. Your angry screeching bring smiles to our faces. Keep it up.

  • Mari

    How about: “your outside doesn’t make a flying fuck of a difference when you’re an ugly person on the inside.”

    ..Which is you, by the way, for the insensitive and ignorant things you wrote about my friend.

    Good luck in life.

    Not.

  • Repeal the 19th

    “Think this comment is RUDE? Oh my, it must be because I’m offended, because I’m fat. Wrong again – I’m a size 2 (because unlike “docillusion” suggests, there’s NO SUCH THING AS A SIZE ONE; you ignorant PRICK). Oh, I almost forgot – you need picture proof; here ya go: ”

    Ha, ha, ha, ha.

  • >People who join “freethinker” groups are conformist sheep;

    This is why I while I don’t happen to believe in god can’t stand big-A “Atheists”. Every one of them sounds like a cloned zombie Voltaire.

  • Andrew

    You’re a piece of shit to censor and disparage commenters. I’m not offended by your article at all, but that makes you look like a vagina. A big fat crybaby cunt.

    (Awaits censorship…)

  • Negro Knievel

    Wow!!!!…..Hot girls like Erica is the main reason I get disgusted with my enormous abdomen having wife!!!…..You hot girls should feel guilty especially Erica!!!!!….It’s all your fault my fat wife does not look sexy to me or anyone else!!!!….NICE MANNERS BABE!!!!

  • Travis Martinez

    Fat women gross me out, when a woman weighs more than me and is drenched in sweat I don’t want to get within 10 feet of them. I remember doing a blind date once and the woman I met was like 250lb’s and 5’7” (I’m 160 and 5’10”). There is no excuse for a woman to be roughly 100lb’s heavier than a man unless she is a bodybuilder.

    Suffice to say I manned up and went on a date with her and never called me back, she ended up finding out where I live and a week later she pulled in the driveway and started snooping around my house, I was swimming in my pool at the time so the moment I heard somebody pull up I got out and peeked to see who it was and ran inside and hid in my shower while locking all of the doors.

    One of the scariest moments of my life.

  • Stephen Wood

    He’s simply an oxygen thief. id imagine he is one that loiters male toilets and may be seen around playgrounds and schools

  • Yuri Normus

    LOL Your try-hard wittiness shows how butthurt you really are. No one is fat-shaming you. It is very hard to “shame” someone who is truly confident in themselves and their beliefs. Deep down most fat acceptance people know being fat looks and feels like shit. If being fat was beautiful we wouldn’t need a “movement” for it.

  • Rydia

    Well, it depends on how the fat girl has been raised. If she has been praised too much, she will be vain. If don’t, then she will be humble. I have known both types. Same with the skinny and normal weight girls.

  • John Hancock

    When someone is vain, yet fat, they’ve abandoned all logic and reason.

  • Pingback: Are There Legitimate Reasons To Be Fat?()

  • SD888

    FINALLY. Matt ADMITS he is fat. VERY FAT, to be precise. But your personality sucks more than any fat woman’s I’ve ever met.

  • Another Point of View

    Usually, I would spit back a retort to an article like this. But I’m not going to bother doing so. Please try to be kind, that’s all I ask. I’m just going to copy and paste a small piece from my journal.

    “I’m fat. I know I’ll probably end up being unable to move someday. I know I’ll ruin my life by being this way. But that doesn’t change who I am. I am still just as self-aware, just as smart, just as good, kind, and honest as any other random, better looking person. And if I die because of this, it won’t effect you. I’m not asking for it to effect you. Of course, I’ve never been afraid of dying – but when it comes down to it, self preservation will take hold, so you won’t have to worry about me.

    I know this is convoluted, and it’s difficult to get my point across through words. It’s okay that there’s an obesity epidemic in America, because the worst thing that can happen is we’ll all die off – which really isn’t so bad when you think about it. And the only person with the right to decide whether I live or die is me.”

    I wasn’t writing that with you in mind, but I think it applies to this situation. You don’t know who I am, but all I can say is I hope I have the ability to be just as polite and kind as an attractive person. I didn’t want to be this way, but I’m not defined by the way my body looks. Maybe you think otherwise, but I know in my heart that the world will prove you wrong. That is all.

  • Another Point of View

    One more thing: try rewriting this article, but replacing ‘fat people’ with ‘black people’. I know it’s not the same thing, but it may help you to understand how much this hurts. It’s a form of bullying.