Matt Forney
Spread the Word!
honey

You Catch More Flies with Honey

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

I’ve always more or less considered myself an intentional rebel. I hated the status quo, always made it a point to dislike stuff that was mainstream, you know the drill. I still try to discover as many non-mainstream things as I can, learn as much as I can, and try to view the world from as many perspectives as possible. In college, like all know-it-all students, I started to discover my political side. And in the red state of Georgia, especially during the George W. Bush years, it made perfect sense for me to embrace my liberal side. Everyone that disagreed with me was a warmongering, Bible-thumping, black- and woman-hating bigot. I kind of liked that role. Yeah, I was one of those guys we all make fun of now. But everyone’s had a bad period, so don’t judge me too hard.

My perspective, however soon changed and broadened. Why? Tasty lasagna.

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A friend of mine told me about Lasagna Club on campus: a volunteer came to the lounge areas of several dorms after all the dining halls were already closed and served up delicious lasagna to hungry students. For five dollars, you could fill up your plate with as much lasagna as you want and feel that sweet, sweet carb satisfaction many of us deny ourselves today. Didn’t have five dollars? It was fine: just pay what you could. Didn’t have any money at all? You know what, it’s cool, enjoy the food. The mysterious volunteer was friendly, cheerful, and added a certain something to the college experience.

No one really knew anything about the volunteer however, until one day, after all the lasagna had been served and my friends and I were hitting the books, I saw some fliers for a church. The following few nights, same thing: random church fliers left by where the plates were. However, this man didn’t say a word about his religion, his beliefs or his motivations: he was just there to feed some students.

It was at this point that my ideas started to change. This was a person who I would have probably mocked because of my attitude, and when I realized that he was just doing a good deed out of the kindness of his heart, I felt like an absolute heel. This man, with his quiet dignity and service, was doing more to spread his cause than I was doing by mocking the extremists who tried to do the same. Yeah, we focus on the loud obnoxious assholes because they are loud and obnoxious, but outside of them there is an entire world of beliefs and actions that could actually lead people to a better life. It’s hard to argue that life wouldn’t be better if we became a little more “good Christian” (by that I mean the actual overarching ideas of love and compassion, though that’s about as far as my religion talk goes).

Think about it this way: why did the anti-religion people hate Tim Tebow so much? Because he did not sling venom or hate; instead, he had an exemplary community service record and spread his love of Jesus through service. He rehabilitated prisoners for fun. It’s tough to not like a guy like that.

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And even he couldn’t save everybody.

Recently, I have noticed an interesting development in the ongoing saga of the manosphere: peace and love. Now, we are all familiar with the angry side of the manosphere (and if you haven’t read M3’s excellent piece on the topic, do it now), and we are all familiar with the foaming-at-the-mouth-with-rage feminists that oppose it. We all know that both sides think they are right and downplay (or simply refuse to acknowledge) the angry masses on their side. We are the good guys. They are the bad guys. That’s just how life is. And we all end up looking like children in the process.

But then there was a glitch in the Matrix. Enter Amanda Palmer.

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Yep, the same Amanda Palmer behind the Dresden Dolls, a band that the Jezebel crowd absolutely touches themselves over. I won’t go over her history, or the controversies she has been a part of. I will, however, point you to her Tumblr blog, where, in the wake of the infamous Return of Kings article “5 Reasons to Date a Woman with an Eating Disorder” and all the negative attention it received, she seems to have risen up as a voice of reason.

Check out the full exchange here. It’s worth it.

they should not be shot. nor castrated. think about it. they should be smothered in fucking love and compassion. possibly the only way they’ll ever snap out of it. $50 says if you castrate/shoot them they’re bound to just build a nastier website. don’t perpetuate the cycle. rise.

yes. we can and should be angry. this website is mad cray.

but saying “THESE MEN SHOULD DIE SLOW DEATHS/BE CASTRATED/MUTILATED” and those responding “FUCK YEAH” is stooping right down to level of mindless violence and non-respect that this website is perpetuating. and it’s exactly the response that gives forward-thinking feminists a bad rap in as a bunch of maniacal “man haters”.  so yes. feel anger. share feelings. respond with truth. but don’t use wrong speech, or get violent. or say anything you wouldn’t say in the actual company of these human beings. it still amazes me that some women think the correct response to this is “LET’S KILL THESE PEOPLE.” really, ladies? would you call up the mother of the guy who started this website and say “hello, ms. smith, i think your son should be castrated and die.” ??? no. really. honestly. you wouldn’t. you’d be angry, but human. so let’s please get our shit together and treat each other – yes, even the people like this – with dignity and respect.  golden fucking rule, people. otherwise we all stay in the fucking gutter. rant over.

Click on the link above. Look at how some people are responding to her call of peace, love and respect. People would rather continue the cycle of anger than to find a solution. Amanda Palmer gets it. Much love.

It doesn’t seem like her message of peace and acceptance has spread very far amongst other feminists. I’m sure by now we have all seen the video of the angry feminist mob attacking an Argentine cathedral.

Other sites have already covered this topic to death, but let’s focus on something in particular, shall we? The men protecting the cathedral are not responding with anger or rage. They are displaying the patience of saints. They do not allow themselves to be cast as the bad guys… and therefore, they win. It is very hard to sympathize with the feminists in this video, no matter how pro-choice you claim to be.

Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. – George Carlin.

Need another example of “bad guys” doing good? Let’s look at one of the favorite targets of feminists: professional pick-up artists.

Here’s some background on our next clip. The guys at Simple Pickup make some entertaining videos. Some of their videos have some pretty wacky, over-the-top hijinks meant not only to entertain, but to teach the audience that picking up girls can be… simple. Deciding to blend their videos with some good deeds, they managed to raise $7000 for a breast cancer charity by donating $20 for each girl that let them motorboat her. That is a rather impressive amount of motorboating.

However, in come the radical feminists to make things fun. They force the breast cancer charity to refuse their donation. And then… the magic happens.

Once again, the feminists are made to look like uncaring savages and the Simple Pickup guys, through their charity and good deeds, become the good guys. Yes, “misogynistic” pickup artists can be good guys.

So invite you, my dear reader, to make a commitment with me. Let’s all be good guys. Let’s try to spread as much care and joy to other people as we can. Let’s be good, positive human beings. Because it is through this goodness that our message can spread and become more accepted. It is through this goodness that our message, our stories, our lessons, will have a new audience. It is through this goodness that we help our fellow man.

On every single site and forum, I keep hearing the same chatter: how can I show this stuff to my friend? How can I make him see the light? How can this person that I care about lead a better life through some of my own beliefs? Many people recommend that red pill ideals should not be shared with anyone until they discover them on their own. I say share them. Just be a good messenger and lead by example.

And leave the vinegar at home.

Read Next: Of SlutWalks and Double Standards