This is a guest post by the Captain Power.
I was on Twitter the other day when someone forwarded me this picture from the White House:
At first, I was befuddled. How did they come with such a low rate? I have been researching Obamacare since day one; was I missing something? How are they coming up with $50 or less per month?
NOTE: This is one of my favorite In Mala Fide articles, originally published on November 29, 2010.
Presenting the best of Black Friday 2010. Or at least what I think is the best. I wouldn’t know. I don’t shop on Black Friday. I don’t even go to any stores on Black Friday. In fact, I spent this Black Friday, as well as the one before, sleeping in. I want nothing to do with you miserly, two-legged buffalo.
My abstention from joining the herd on the day after Thanksgiving, the biggest shopping day of the year, is rooted in pragmatism and protest. If you’re standing in the freezing cold all night to buy a video game console that goes on sale at five in the morning, do the world a favor and kill yourself. As for the protest, it comes from having spent many a Black Friday in the store, but on the other side of the garage door you filthy animals smashed in so you could get your fucking $299.99 HP laptop (that will break on you in a year after you load it up with malware from all those shady porn sites you visit).
Didja hear? Everyone in the manosphere is a troll, including me. We don’t actually believe in any of the stuff we say, we just do it to get attention and make money. Hell, I published a book called Trolling for a Living; there’s all the evidence you need. We’re just a bunch of performance artists making shit up because our mommies didn’t give us enough hugs.
Insert flashing sign “THIS IS WHAT LEFTISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE” here.
NOTE: This article was originally published at 2Blowhards on September 30, 2009.
A few years back, I was waiting at the dentist’s office, thumbing through a copy of Time, when I came across an article entitled “Who’s the Voice of this Generation?” The author was lamenting the fact that not one of the “young novelists” writing today is representative of the attitudes and neuroses of this generation. As is the nature of modern journalism, this reporter was trained to ignore the truth in front of her face. The reason that not one of these “young novelists” can claim to be the voice of this generation is because all of them are nauseatingly parochial in thought and style.
Anyone involved in the world of literature is aware of the old cliché, “Write what you know.” There’s an unstated implication in that phrase; make sure what you know is interesting. The best novelists had no trouble grasping this concept. Ernest Hemingway only wrote what he knew, but the breadth and depth of his life experiences—fighting in World War I, living in Paris during the Roaring Twenties, reporting on the Spanish Civil War—was a large part of what made his novels compelling. Louis-Ferdinand Céline’s Journey to the End of the Night (as well as his other works) was a glorified retelling of his experiences during WWI and later working in colonial French West Africa and the U.S. The list of great novelists who infused their writing with their varied life experiences is endless: F. Scott Fitzgerald, George Orwell, Jack Kerouac, Hunter S. Thompson, Charles Bukowski, Tim O’Brien, etc.
I brought this up on a recent podcast, but given that ABC News was dumb enough to rely on her as a source, the time is ripe for a takedown of everyone’s favorite hirsute faux-gamer, Anita Sarkeesian.
And yes, she’s a born liar, through and through. Sarkeesian launched her Tropes vs. Women in Video Games video series supposedly because she was a long-time gamer, a lie that was exploded recently. After the infamous 4chan-led gang-stalking attack on her last year, Sarkeesian collected hundreds of thousands of dollars of sympathy donations from feminists… which she sat on for nearly a year in violation of Kickstarter’s terms of service without so much as a slap on the wrist, while some pick-up artist dweeb got banned for hurting some feminists’ feeeeeelings. Sarkeesian has also conveniently failed to disclose to her fans that she’s a paid consultant for EA, which makes her untrustworthy as an independent commentator.
But it’s Anita Sarkeesian’s narcissism, not her duplicity, that is the topic of this post.
A few weeks back, I posted an article titled “The Case Against Female Self-Esteem” that made the argument that girls these days are too full of themselves and that combating female self-esteem will help restore balance to the Force. It went viral on Tumblr Tuesday, garnering me 80,000 views in a single day and forcing my webhost to throttle my bandwidth. I had figured that would be the end of it, but Wednesday actually doubled to just under 170,000 views… and it would have been higher had my webhost not killed my site to keep their servers from melting down.
Because I went to Buffalo on Wednesday to see Lee Ranaldo and the Dust, I didn’t have computer access and couldn’t restore the site until yesterday evening. I had a great time, if you were wondering: pounded Rusty Chains all night, finished reading two books, tried Loganberry for the first time (it’s a less disgusting version of Dr. Pepper) and actually met Ranaldo himself.
Meanwhile, impotent feminists were screeching for my murder and mutilation all over these here interwebs.
This is a guest post by the Captain Power.
When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.
The Declaration of Independence
That is possibly the greatest set of paragraphs ever written, and it still applies to today.
Let’s face it, Obamacare is completely retarded. It’s not going to work. And it already isn’t working.
NOTE: This post was salvaged from a book project I started last year on how to craft your rhetoric against feminists and leftists for maximum effect. I gave up on the book because I didn’t feel it was worth publishing. You’re better off reading Aristotle and Anonymous Conservative than my half-baked stuff. Nonetheless, I liked the book’s intro enough to recycle it for a post.
God, people these days are such fucking pussies.
Offended. That’s the defining word of our times. Everyone’s always offended by something. Jews are offended by Sarah Palin using the phrase “blood libel” to describe how liberals blamed her for a mass shooting. Liberals are offended by Mitt Romney mentioning that he’s “got five boys” because they think it’s a coded racist message. Feminists are offended by… well, what aren’t feminists offended by? Everywhere you turn in America there’s a manufactured crisis caused by someone who’s offended and wants apologies, restitution, anything to assuage their wounded feeeeeelings.
This doesn’t make any sense.
Recently, I was sent to a workshop at a Labor Department office to test its usefulness in helping the unemployed find work, helping to determine whether taxpayer dollars are being spent wisely. This was in a certain county in upstate New York that I’m not at liberty to disclose, other than to say that it’s in a rural area and it has one of the highest unemployment rates in the state.
It also has one of the lowest literacy rates in the state. I’ll call it “Methlab County.”
The particular program I sat in on was “Internet Job Search,” about using the web to find work. You might be wondering, in this age of 4G smartphones and ubiquitous Internet access, precisely who would have difficulty applying to jobs online. The answer: fifty- and sixtysomething white ex-factory workers who don’t own computers, don’t even have email accounts. In fact, the second half of the three-hour (!) workshop was devoted to teaching us how to open and use email accounts with Yahoo! or Google.
It’s official: I’m a contendah. With last month’s analytics info in, I’m in the running for the Manosphere’s Most Fucked Up Search Strings, the competition that nobody asked for but we participate in anyway. Without any further delay, here are the most bizarre, reprehensible or just flat-out sick ways that people found my blog in the past month. Because of the sheer amount of hilarity/repulsiveness on display, I’ve organized the search terms into thematic lists.