Matt Forney
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Chicago Meetup: January 22nd

chicago

I’m spending the next couple of weeks in the Windy City on business and decided to take the unprecedented step of holding a formal meetup. Given that every meetup I hold in New York City ends in a full-scale riot, I am expecting great things from my Chicagoland peeps.

At the very least, I am expecting fewer asshole bouncers who kick people out for being tipsy.

I’m co-hosting the meetup with my friend Chad Elkins, author of Elkins’ Comprehensive Tax Guide (click here for my review of last year’s edition). On paper, it’ll just be a simple meet-and-greet, but honestly, none of my meetups are ever that simple. Any and all are welcome to attend. Illinois concealed carry permit holders are especially welcome to attend, though you may have to leave your firearms in the car.

1. When will the meetup be?

January 22nd. It will start at 6pm and run until the bars close or shots are fired.

2. Where will the meetup be?

I will announce the location on Twitter (as well as my private Facebook account) at 2pm CST on January 22nd. The venue is located in Wrigleyville, within walking distance of the Brown Line. If we’re close enough friends that you have my phone number, text me and I’ll tell you ahead of time.

3. How will I recognize the folks at the meetup?

Look for me. If you don’t know what I look like, slowly scroll to the top of this page. If you still don’t know what I look like, cancel your Internet service.

4. Are girls allowed?

Women under 30 are only allowed so long as they’re cute, skinny and come with the explicit purpose of sleeping with one male attendee. Women over 30 are exempt from these requirements, but if you still want to sleep with one of the male attendees, no one will stop you.

5. You can’t fool me, Forney. You’re just gonna hold another sausage fest and no one will get laid.

That’s not a question. But yes, I don’t hold these meetups looking for girls, I hold them because I enjoy intelligent conversations with my fellow man. But given that half the guys who attend my NYC meetups get laid, you’d be wrong on the latter.

6. What about logistics for out-of-towners?

Air: Check Skyscanner for deals on airfare. A direct, round-trip ticket to Chicago from Syracuse cost me around $200.

Land: Take Metra if you live in the Chicago suburbs. Northern Indiana residents can avail themselves of the South Shore Line. Amtrak provides service to Union Station if you enjoy horrific delays and being stuck next to fat black ladies whining about missing their court dates. I also hear there’s something called a “Greyhound” or a “Megabus” if you’re from even farther out.

Hotels: Booking.com has deals on hotels, there are a lot of good rentals on Airbnb, and there are also some good hostels in the area as well. Try and stick to locations that are in the city proper or located near the L to save time commuting.

7. Can I buy you a drink?

Yes, so long as doing so won’t get me bounced for excessive intoxication.

If you’re interested in coming to the meetup, drop me a line via email or Twitter. Hope to see you there!

Read Next: New York City Meetup: October 30th

  • Was actually considering bringing my husband to meet you and some of the cohorts. We used to walk to Wrigley from my place in Lakeview all the time, he’s a Cubs fan. I actually played softball at Wrigley Field when I worked in IT for the Chicago Tribune & they owned the Cubs. That was about a month after I met my now-husband. Man, was he jealous! ;-)

  • You’re both welcome to come. The clause prohibiting young women is to discourage time-wasters who just want to attention whore.

  • My husband is interested in the information I bring to him but he won’t seek it out on his own. He thinks my concern about Feminism / Feminists is off-kilter. Most of his buddies are oblivious. Anxious to get him in a room w folks he can respect & hear it directly from the source. I’ll check back for location info – talked to him last night & he’s up for it. Spending an evening in the city if we can find a good excuse always turns out fun. ps “Young” at heart maybe … we’re in our 50s ;-)

  • Ash

    I will definitely be there! Friday would have been much better, however.