Matt Forney
Spread the Word!

The Day I Became a Chubby Chaser

This is an excerpt from my now-discontinued book Big Lovin’: The Guide to Picking Up Fat Chicks, a satire of the fat acceptance movement and pickup artists.

You have the BBW section of YouPorn bookmarked. You can’t shop at Walmart or dine at all-you-can-eat buffets because you’re tired of having to wash pre-cum stains out of your shorts afterwards. The smell of Burger King grease practically gives you an orgasm.

It’s time to come out of the closet: you’re a chubby chaser.

There’s no shame in it. As countless historians have noted, prior to our fatphobic modern era, fat was considered the beauty ideal because it connotated wealth and prestige. Painters such as Peter Paul Rubens celebrated curvier gals in their artwork. The fact that the overwhelming majority of artwork and glamor photography throughout history depicts skinny women means nothing, because as we all know, generalizations are wrong and the existence of a single exception to a rule disproves the rule.

Additionally, the idea that skinniness equals healthiness has been debunked. Numerous studies funded by McDonald’s and Monsanto have shown that fat people live just as long as their twig- like counterparts. In fact, being skinny can be life-threatening; eight million Americans–a full 2.5 percent of the population–suffer from anorexia or bulimia. Anorexia kills 150 people in the U.S. every year, a mere fraction of the percentage of those who die from heart disease or diabetes, but um, er… there’s nothing wrong with being fat!

And there’s nothing wrong with liking fat girls. I know because I used to be in denial. I used to pretend that flat tummies, shapely asses and odorless vaginas were what turned me on. Whenfat girls were humiliated or insulted in front of me, I cowardly left them to suffer in silence. I kept my fetish under wraps, shamefully jerking off to plus-size porn stars like Devyn Devine or Nikki Santana after dark.

I first realized I was a FA (fat admirer) when I was in junior high. When I was in seventh grade, I was waiting for my mom to come pick me up after school one day when I saw a group of eighth-graders making fun of a girl named Vanessa. I secretly wanted to jump her bones; she had a luscious roll of doughy flesh around her stomach, thunder thighs like racks of lamb, and a balcony so big you could do Shakespeare from it. And she was really nice, so nice to me whenever I talked to her. In short, she was everything I wanted in a girl.

But I was too much of a coward to ask her out. Vanessa was frequently teased for her size, and I was afraid my friends would mock me if I started dating her. But on this particular day, things went too far. As Vanessa walked by, the guys began taunting her: “You on your way to rape someone?” “Hey look, it’s the Fat Ass Bitch!” “Don’t smother anyone with your huge rack!” Ordinarily Vanessa dealt with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune by begging her tormentors to leave her alone, but this time, it was too much. She started sobbing and ran away, the boys pointing and laughing at having broken her spirit.

I should have spoken up for Vanessa, told those little fatphobic cretins to leave her alone. I didn’t. I’ve always regretted that day.

That’s why I’ve decided that I can no longer stay silent. Fat women have suffered enough; I’m here to speak out on their behalf, and on behalf of the men who love them. There should be no shame in being a fat girl.

That includes dispelling myths about fat girls being “easy.” Getting them into bed is much harder than you would think, and that’s where I come in. As a seasoned chubby chaser, I’m here to share my foolproof, generalized system for laying bigger gals, a system that any man can use.

Let’s get started.

P.S. If you’re ready to start meeting BBWs now, click here.

Read Next: Fat Acceptance is the Future

  • I can recall a while ago during the feuds, you had been shaming me about chasing fatties on Twitter (which I wasn’t) and now you’re the vanguard of fatty acceptance :). What a change of heart…and direction :)

  • It’s satire, you dumbfuck.

  • Claire

    Glad to know the author of this comment is a mature adult who can handle interacting like a functioning member of society.

    oh wait.

    [CensorBot sez: Neener neener.]

  • SocialKenny’s brilliant interpersonal skills shine through once again. You literally do this all over the internet, maybe someday you’ll stop embarrassing yourself. Until then I’m just going to keep enjoying it whenever you post something stupid.

  • Oh and for what it’s worth, great article Matt. I especially enjoyed the “studies funded by McDonalds and Monsanto” bit.

  • CaseyCat

    Good article. As a slim and trim girl, I’d never even consider a man who is at all overweight. If there is a hint of flab under his chin, any squishiness to his belly or, god forbid, any extra fat on butt, chest or thighs, I am honestly incapable of perceiving him as a human male. I just don’t swing that way. He might as well be a toddler or an old woman, as far as my attraction to an overweight man, and most of my friends feel the same way. No reason for this standard to go only one way. It’s completely understandable that men, too, would want a woman who wouldn’t completely repulse them sexually.

  • @SocialKenny

    hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahha

  • You should live your whole live as a satire and could maybe then be perceived as an almost tolerable person.

    Regarding your posts altogether, I do agree with most of your views but think you must be emotionally severely wounded to be such a cynical prick. Did you see your mom fuck the milkman when you were a kid or something?

    You’re right but you’re still an asshole.

  • Joska

    Too bad this satire was written exactly like the real thing.

  • Monika

    Matt Fornney is a really weird dude..

  • Monika

    Dude…. your really strange .. -_- jus say’N

  • Michael M

    Well Casey, that is because you are shallow. It is one thing to not be attracted to a body type, it is another thing to not view them as human because they aren’t sexually attractive to you.

  • David Guyincali

    What a good column. And I so agree that,”Fat women have suffered enough.” I am one the unabashed chubbychasers out there, and lie you I was at first afraid to go for it. Societal norms make it hard for people, and I would not allow my desires to come to the forefront. And yes, some larger lovelies may not be easy, but some are. The beauty of it is that BBWs can be like any other girl, easy or not. I like to find my mates at sites that have been researched, like http://datesitesreview.com/dating_reviews/chubby-chasers/and there I can find a fat babe who may be aggressive or not. The sites there are reviewed because some are better than others. The Vanessas of the world deserve love too, not teasing or hate. Society is changing but
    it needs to move faster.

  • Follow @offensivedialog

    A pig is a pig and a guinea is a guinea, a fat girls pussy is good as any.

  • Bibiana

    Sir, you talk about disliking fat women in one of your columns, but there is a big difference in someone slightly overweight than in the picture you showed. This picture shows a very small percentage of people.

  • Bibiana

    There are both thin and fat girls who are “easy.”

  • David McClintock

    Dude talks about disliking fat pigs in his other column and posts this crap? What a loser.

  • Melanie Dyer

    You are even more of an assshole than I thought before. This obsession you have with size- are you compensating for something?

  • Melanie Dyer

    Not all fat women whine and bitch. You like big guys but hate big girls? That is messed up

  • Melanie Dyer

    Do you know this site is satire? Read his page on fat girls do not deserve to be loved.

  • Melanie Dyer

    it is satire

  • John Hancock

    I’d have to kill myself first. Fat women are disgusting.

  • Snarkasm

    You said it! Haha you SHOULD just kill yourself!! Woohoo :D!

  • John Hancock

    Remember, you fat kVNT, cut the long way next time and get it done right.

  • Snarkasm

    Remember, you scrawny limp noodle, no one will miss you when you’re gone so quit stalling :)

  • Rydia

    He’s obese and ugly. That’s why.

  • Rydia

    She’s skinny :v

  • John Hancock

    Enjoy being fat, you barnyard pig.

  • Slpngkt

    Not really, if you consider her reasons. She doesn’t hate big girls because they’re fat (I think), she hates them because they insist on being treated like thin girls with respect to every guy thinking they’re hot, being hit on as much as their prettier friends, getting the same social advantages as someone who has taken care of her body. Of course there are fat girls who are realistic and don’t expect these things, especially if they choose to live in a society that values health and thinness (at least theoretically, we praise thinness and make ourselves fat, we are not a consistent bunch). Unfortunately the ones who do act this way are the ones who get noticed, and it turns people off of fat women for more reasons than aesthetic appeal. I would regard an obese man the same way if he decided to act entitled and whiny over the fact that women prefer Channing Tatum to John Goodman.

  • Slpngkt

    Isn’t it frustrating when people you don’t like make really good points? I approve of all of Forney’s views on fat women, I just can’t quote any of them in debates because his tone is that of an unrepentant bag of dicks. He seems to enjoy the persona though so all power to him?

  • Cara Jedell

    I am a casting director in LA we are casting a docu-series about fit women who like larger men and vice versa. This is docu-series is not meant to make anyone feel bad. It is for a major cable network and is meant to explore this type of situation. If you would like to talk further please email me asap at info@caracasting.com

  • Mike Magnum

    This guy is so obsessed with fat women. I think hes secretly a chubby chaser. That right Mr Forney. You want to put whip topping all over that and ride it ALL NIGHT LONG. Because you like more feeling that skin against your very small penis

  • Hey Matt – isn’t there an actual manosphere blogger who poses as a black dude who makes really good, funny satires on dating and banging fat chics?
    I forgot his name or his blog’s URL
    and BTW Nikki Santana has a lot of videos where she wasn’t that fat – I don’t know that she’s on the BBW list now lol