Matt Forney
Spread the Word!

Fat Acceptance is the Future

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Forgive me o Lady, for I have sinned. I have mocked fat women for being unattractive, unsightly and unpleasant. I have reinforced the dogma of the heteronormative patriarchy because I thought it was the truth.

But now, I have seen the light. Fat acceptance is the future.

Nigel truly is a pioneer, the new Mystery for a new generation. Here are three reasons why you should let the BBW love into your hearts.

1. So you don’t have to masturbate every night.

Have you looked at obesity stats recently? 67% of Americans are overweight or obese. I’m no mathematician, but I know that 67 is more than 33. Fat acceptance is the only way most of you will ever be able to get laid. You could keep jerking off to fake, anorexic porn stars on your computer, or you can have actual sex with someone who looks like a woman.

2. It takes a strong man to handle a big woman.

Fat acceptance is not for the weak, physically or spiritually. You need to be in top physical condition to give those big girls the deep dickings they crave. Can any of you fat-hating losers bench press 400 pounds? Thought so. Guys who “prefer” skinny girls end up going to third-world shitholes like Poland and Colombia to fuck desperate, starving hussies because they know they don’t have what it takes to handle a real woman. All 300 pounds of her.

Do you want to be a weakling, or do you want to be strong? The choice is yours.

3. Judging people by their appearance is shallow and hateful.

Everyone knows that physical appearance tells you absolutely nothing about someone’s personality, and that all people are deserving of respect. For example, I’m writing this while hitchhiking at a truck stop. When I got here, there was another hitchhiker there already, a dirty hippie-ish guy who looked like the love child of John Lennon and Dog the Bounty Hunter, was wearing ripped and faded jeans, and had shoulder-length hair that clearly hadn’t been washed in months. Any trucker who refused to give him a ride based on his appearance was being judgmental, and we all know that being judgmental is wrong.

Fat acceptance is about rejecting judgmentalism. It’s about appreciating people for what’s on the inside, not the outside. Accepting fat people is the hallmark of a progressive, forward-thinking mind.

If you hate fat people, you might as well be a Nazi who supports Jim Crow.

So repent, unbelievers! Find solace in the Goddess. Sink into her soft stomach rolls. Kiss her wobbling jowls. Smell the fragrance of moldy cheese and rotting fish wafting off her loins. Swoon to her mellifluous wheezing. In the arms of the Goddess, you will learn how to love.

I once lusted after 18-year old waifs with B-cups and “healthy” BMIs. Now, I am training to become big and strong so I am worthy of a real woman’s love. The Goddess has set me free.

Read Next: A Letter to My Future Wif—, Er, Girlfrie—, Er, Fuckbuddy

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If you liked this post then you’ll like Big Lovin’, my 48-page satirical guide on how seduce and bang obese and overweight women. It explains what you need to have before you go chubby chasing, where to find fat chicks, how to woo them with your culinary talents and more. Click here to learn more.