Matt Forney
Spread the Word!

The Game is a Lie

lie

Please welcome our very special guest contributor: Ted Tomblin.

Game doesn’t exist. It’s a scam designed to trick men into thinking they can get laid. I can prove this. The other night, I went to a bar in my hometown wearing my most expensive fedora and an eye-patch I bought from the Halloween discount rack at Walmart. After ordering a peach daiquiri (my favorite), I spotted my target: a cute-ish blonde with a lazy eye and a large C-section scar over her exposed midriff. I confidently strolled up, tapped her on the shoulder and delivered my line: “Omigod, did you see those two girls fighting outside?”

She whirled around and snarled, “Ew, get away from me you little weirdo!”

Undaunted by her repulsion—after all, women are supposedly attracted to confidence—I tried kino by rubbing the small of her back. The cunt responded by throwing her drink in my face and yelling, “Help! Help!” Shortly thereafter, the bouncer came and threw me out for causing a disturbance.

“Enjoy dying alone!” I screamed at the bitch as I was being escorted away.

This is proof that game doesn’t exist. Game says that you can peacock and drop lines and girls will line up around the block to suck you off. The fact that trying PUA material in real life nearly got me arrested is proof that it doesn’t work. Women are hypergamous cunts who only care about looks, so trying to trick them with negs and pretending to be a high-value guy is a waste of time.

Plus, game doesn’t protect you from oops pregnancies or false rape accusations. I know, because I very nearly was the victim of a false rape accusation. It happened in the fifth grade when, as a joke, my classmate Gretchen decided to come up and kiss me on the lips. I was shocked and shoved her off me, which caused her to joke, “What’s wrong with you Ted? Are you gay?” Suddenly, out of nowhere, a circle of my fellow classmates started closing in and chanting, “Ted’s a fag! Ted’s a fag!”

I’m quite sure that if I hadn’t pushed Gretchen off me, she would have claimed I’d raped her.

The Paleo diet is another lie that you suckers believe. I’ve tried the Paleo diet and I know for a fact that it doesn’t work. A couple months ago, I tried to lose weight by cutting out carbs, subsisting solely on steak and veggies. After a month of eating Paleo, I had gone down to 295 pounds from my original weight of 330. Satisfied with this, I decided to go back to my normal diet and I gained all the weight back in two weeks.

What a crock of bullshit. Paleo is as stupid as the Atkins diet.

Gamers believe in obvious scams like the Paleo diet because they desperately want to deny the misandrist nature of our world. Feminists control the government and corporations, making it impossible for “unsexy” men to advance. For example, I was fired from my last IT job because one of my cunt co-workers falsely accused me of sexual harassment. All I did was give her an impromptu back-rub when she called me up to fix her computer! How is that a crime?

I’ll bet she wouldn’t complain if some loser singer from a local band gave her a back-rub, now would she?

The reality of our world is that there are no personal solutions for society-wide problems like misandry or obesity. If you’re fat, becoming skinny is virtually impossible without gastric band surgery, and getting laid is impossible unless you were born good looking or pay for it. The manosphere pushes fictions like game and the Paleo diet because they want to believe that they have any control over their lives.

Because this feminist world has rejected me for the crime of having a penis, I have decided to Go My Own Way. I refuse to contribute my labor and time to a society that despises my very existence.  Fuck the cunts, fuck the legal system, and fuck you manosphere manginas who think performing tricks on demand for a woman is the essence of manliness. Unlike you, I won’t sell out my masculine integrity for a few scraps of pussy.

Editor’s Note: Shortly after he sent me this article, Ted was found dead in his childhood home. His mother had come down from the kitchen to tell him that dinner was ready when she found that he had hanged himself from a doorknob, pants around his ankles, a blissful smile on his face. He was 26.

You can send condolences to Ted’s family via Heinlein Funeral Homes, 482 S. Sandusky St., Upper Sandusky, Ohio. Calling hours will be from 1 to 6pm this Friday, July 12th.

Also, if you haven’t bought Three Years of Hate yet, you have exactly one week before it goes off-sale. There will be no re-ups, so if you want the book, you need to get it now.

Read Next: Larry Auster Weighs in on Weekly Standard Article on Relationships, Sex and Game

  • I guess this was a satire? If so, quite stabbing.

  • AK

    I’ve seen some of these weirdos on the Internet. They make radical feminists sound like rational, socially well-adjusted people.

  • Emmanuel Goldstein

    Haha awesome send up of MRAs and generalized game haters.

  • Jeremy

    I got the book. I intend on preserving it. My only beef is there is no hardbound edition.

  • jay

    Haha. Very funny.

  • John McNeill

    That was clever, and much needed when the ideas of the MGTOWs seem very appealing.

  • Samuel

    Reminds me of the documentary Shy Boys(watch here

    ). Listen the long haired guy who thinks he has all the truths and admits that he is butt ugly when in reality with just little grooming and helpful tips these nerds would look very decent.

    Even makes me sad how strong their self-created illusion really is.

  • earl

    Game is nothing more than poker.

    You have the cards in your hand…and you play psychological warfare with the other players.

  • Con Lewes

    I find it hysterical how guys like this can say stuff like “Women are hypergamous sluts who only date alpha males” but then turn around and claim that emulating alpha male characteristics (you know, game) doesn’t work.

    Funny stuff as always, dude!

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  • Damn you MATT!! I almost sent my condolences to Heinlein Funeral Homes!

  • I almost sent my condolences to Heinlein Funeral Homes!

    I’d have loved to see you pull that off, seeing as they don’t actually exist.

  • @MATT
    just got my condolence mail back -return to sender -no recepient
    that explains it- lol
    Btw, not sure where you got that photo, seems believable that he could die from a doorknob

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