Matt Forney
Spread the Word!
hipster

If You Hate Bars and Clubs, You Should Become a Hipster

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

Saturday night, April 20th. I was the picture of a hipster: I was at a party in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, held at a art space, drinking a PBR tall boy, had my face painted, and was listening to a bunch of bands you probably never heard of. Later on, I was discussing media perception and narrative with a girl with pink hair, tattoos on her cleavage and a ring in her tongue. That tongue ring was in my mouth soon after.

Hipster to the fucking core, and loving every second of it.

I’ve been going to hipster parties more often as of late, and every time I do, I have a blast. Even when I don’t hook up with a girl, the night is always a huge success: the music, environment, and conversation never fail to disappoint. It’s a far cry from the fratty bar scene in my “home field” of the Upper East Side, where I feel like I wasted my night if I don’t hook up with a girl.

“But Kid, hipsters are awful!”

No, they’re not. We think hipsters are awful for two main reasons:

1. Tattooed, non-standard looking girls are usually associated with radical feminists, and no one likes radical feminists.

However, I have found this stereotype to be the opposite of reality: many hipster girls worship the styles of the 1950’s (aside from the tats), and they actually cook the stuff they post on Pinterest, almost yearning for a bygone era. I’ve found that most hipster girls are way less poisoned by society than the average “Sex and the City is my life and I’m holding out for Mr. Big” Upper East Side girls. A lot of hipster girls I meet are in loving, stable relationships. Mind blowing, I know.

2. They’re nerds/feminine/androgynous/lame, so hipsters make me angry!

Yes, sometimes they are. Hell, a lot of the time they are. That’s the point.

Think of it like high school. If the jock bullies the nerd and makes his life miserable, the jock wins. If the jock bullies the nerd, and the nerd ignores it, does his own thing, and fucks girls way hotter than the jock, that will be a giant mind fuck.

That’s why so many manosphere, game and self-improvement bloggers hate hipsters: they’re nerds that are trying to become jocks (and sometimes succeeding), and yet they cant simply fathom that nerds can do their own thing, have fun and get laid! In the schema of alpha, beta, and omega, hipsters are none of the above. They are truly their own people without too much concern for preconceived notions.

Why are hipsters awesome?

For the most part, they are incredibly welcoming. The “hipster sneer” is mostly a myth. Got something to contribute? They are ready to listen. You are welcome, no matter who you are. What other scene can you say that about?

Not only that, there is no hipster dress code. While hipster fashion tends to evoke images of skinny jeans, fedoras and wool caps, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I’ve seen hipsters dressed in fratty polos, I once saw a guy in a fur vest, and another guy I saw once had a button up with a pocket protector and nerd glasses. Yes, hipster fashion is in fact way more inclusive than any other look. Don’t believe me? Go to a hipster party, then go to a generic bar or club. I bet you the former will have way more visual variety for dudes than the “un-tucked striped button-down and jeans” look of the latter.

This all sounds great! But where do I begin?

The hipster scene is different from town to town, and unfortunately some places don’t have hipsters (insert sadface here), but in New York City, subscribing to the Nonsense List is a pretty good start. While most of the hipsters I’ve met can be shy when talking to new people at bars, people really seem to come out of their shell at parties, the listings for which you can find at the link above. I have had no problems going to these parties by myself (because many of my friends irrationally fear hipsters or Brooklyn), meeting some great people and having a wonderful time.

Convinced yet?

Read Next: To the Fat Hipster Girl Who Felt Me Up at the Holocene the Other Night

  • Steve Johnson

    Fantastic follow up to the “how to date a fattie” satire. “How to date a girl with bad hygiene, covered in tats, with gaged ears and armpit hair”. Hilarious – I love it.