Matt Forney
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Hurt Your Wife to Show Her You Love Her

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NOTE: Nearly a year ago, I ran a blog named Virginia’s Secret Garden for the purpose of making fun of “red pill women” and their beta orbiters in the manosphere. I wrote under the nom-de-plume of “Virginia Robinson,” a happy submissive Christian housewife living in the Midwest… who blogged about her sex life in nauseating detail. You can read more about the hoax here.

Because I’m no longer updating the site, I’ve decided to let the domain VirginiasSecretGarden.com expire. Here is one of the articles I wrote for the blog, originally published on January 3, 2014.

A lot of people think the Christian Domestic Discipline lifestyle is abusive. Going by what the mainstream media says, I’m actually a Stepford wife who lives in fear of her husband. Somebody save me!

But the reality is that husbands absolutely must assert dominance over their wives in order to have a happy marriage. When my husband spanks me for upsetting him in some way, he’s not just reaffirming his status as my master and the head of the household, he’s satisfying a primal urge in me, letting me know that he cares.

It’s been shown time and time again that neglected children will act out and deliberately break the rules in order to get their parents to pay attention to them. Indeed, every so often, there’s a news story about the children of overly permissive Boomer parents and how they feel unloved because their parents don’t chastise them for having premarital sex or getting into trouble. We women are the same way; when our husbands and boyfriends ignore us, we’ll do something to annoy them just to get their attention. At the extreme level, this can become unhealthy: many women who are “victims” of domestic violence, for example, end up that way because they verbally abuse and belittle their men to the point where they snap. Borderline women are notorious for this kind of attention-seeking behavior.

We ladies can reign in this behavior on our own somewhat, but we need the guiding hand of a man to suppress it completely. It’s the nature of Eve’s sin: we women are inclined to rebel against earthly authority, to the detriment of ourselves and our husbands. Because feminists have obscured this fundamental reality, neither men nor women can effectively deal with womens’ rebellious nature. This is the typical pattern that modern marriages follow:

  1. Wife acts up in an attempt to get her husband to bring her under control.
  2. Husband ignores wife, either because he doesn’t know he needs to discipline her or he’s afraid of the legal consequences of doing so.
  3. Wife becomes contemptuous of her husband for not putting her in her place and starts acting up even more.
  4. Husband continues to ignore wife, creating a downward spiral where sex drops off, arguments flare up, and both sides are increasingly miserable.
  5. Wife files for divorce because she’s not haaapppy.

When women and children misbehave, they’re not just looking for punishment, they’re looking for absolution. Assuming they’re not psychopaths, they know what they’re doing is wrong; they want an authority figure (husband or parent) to tell them they’ve been bad, punish them for it, and then forgive them afterwards. This cycle of misbehavior, punishment and forgiveness scratches an itch deep within the female psyche, letting us know that we’re being looked out for.

Now, I’m not saying that you should encourage your husband to give you a shiner. There’s a right way and a wrong way to be disciplined. But our inherently sinful and defiant nature means that our husbands have to discipline us to keep us happy. Matt Forney had a great article about this called “Saving Women from Themselves“: though he didn’t address marital discipline, the point still stands. Telling or showing someone that they’re on a self-destructive path is an act of mercy and love, even if you end up hurting them in the short-term.

I hate getting spanked. When my husband calls me into our bedroom and tells me to pull my skirt down, I feel dread. I hate having a sore butt and I hate being driven into a crying fit. My husband has told me over and over again that he hates spanking me too, because seeing me crying and in pain breaks his heart. But despite the suffering and tears, I’m grateful that my husband corrects my misbehavior. When he gets finished paddling me and holds me afterwards, I feel a deep satisfaction in knowing that he loves me enough to protect me from myself.

Read Next: How to Beat Your Girlfriend or Wife and Get Away with It

  • Take The Red Pill

    It’s too bad (for women and us men who used to love them) that Western Women decided to let man-hating feminists control them and speak for them — and also decided to let feminists make ANY kind of male physical contact with women “abuse”, “controlling behavior”, or “rape”.

    No marriage for them; they’ve made themselves too toxic and risky to interact with (let alone marry) to justify the risk of legalized theft and slander for false accusations and prison time for trumped-up charges.

    It’s just too bad. But this is the way they wanted it — being controlled by manhaters and marrying Big Daddy Government.

    But at least we men have had a chance to see what selfish, lying, honorless, narcissistic whores that women are really like, once their false disguise and mask of femininity is removed.

    MGTOW is not just a way of life; more and more, it’s becoming a matter of survival.

  • Tomasina Serveaux

    So, instead of being treated like an equal human being deserving of respect and her own opinion about things, as well as an equal say in what goes on in the home, you PREFER being treated like a rather stupid child whose only method of learning is through pain and humiliation? Well, to each her own, I guess, but it sounds like just another excuse to make sure women are nothing more than slaves of men. Millions of women are trapped in horrible, abusive marriages and feel like they can never get out of them for fear of making God angry–all because the Bible says that they must submit to whatever the man does to them or risk damnation. It is about time humanity outgrew these primitive notions. Just because people bothered to believe things thousands of years ago, is not a good enough reason to believe them now. The Hebrews believed God lived on top of the sky-dome, and to this day, Christians have this notion in their minds, even singing lyrics such as “I love thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky.” It is their prerogative to believe this nonsense, of course, but I prefer to evolve a little more, thanks–socially, morally, and ethically.

  • Pingback: Spanking Your Wife? Without their consent? And MGTOW? – Rant | Uncollared Pup()

  • Non-spankos – you guys just don’t get it. Women want to be spanked by a big strong man because its a turn on! Read the abundantly popular Spanking Romance books of which I am a successful author to try and get that. Who cares why? Why does it turn me on men a guy sticks his tongue in my ear and it turns another woman off. Same premise – just stop analyzing it and focus on what does it for you instead of obsessing about what presses other people s buttons in ways you don’t understand.

  • Shmalkandik

    Your proposal is operationally unviable. In every organization, some one leads. The wise leader takes heed of opinions, encouragse the flow of information upwards, rewards collaboration, and attempts to continuously improve process. But the leader must lead. The smallest and oldest organization known to the human race is the family. Some one must lead. Men lead. Cetes, you can have an equalitarian relationship as a female with a male, ,much as a manufacturer does with a supplier. But that’s all you get. Don’t expect a sustainable marriage if you are unwilling to support your man and let him lead.

  • bunnySoleil

    Actually, there is a major difference between erotic spanking and a punishment spanking.

    Training behavior into your sub/TiH is not enjoyable nor pleasurable. It’s a duty. There should be no arousal during a punishment.

  • Pingback: The Link Between Religion And Abuse | K. S. Bowers()

  • desertvoice

    I agree. Spanking is a duty!

  • kristoffel

    You see, Tomasina, this is you being rebellious against authority. There is nothing better for an erring wife than her husband laying a loving, yet firm hand of guidance and correction on her broad buttocks of obstinacy and wrongdoing. This way he saves her from perdition and ending up in hades.

  • kristoffel

    To Take The Red Pill. Your post really says it all.

  • Pam

    I do not agree that women have to go thru all of domination from men we are equals if you want to beat me you sure as hell will get it back I’m not taking such abuse because yoiu think your better than me and you think you own me that just isn’t going to happen the old saying what goes around comes around.your day will come when you face your maker until then you will respect me the same I would respect you this is not a one way but two way you want respect you will earn it.

  • Lau Crypto

    @disqus_KbZRVoIrdE:disqus discipline is nott the same as abuse .. why do you think that?

  • Lau Crypto

    but we arent equal to a man

  • Lau Crypto

    i can agree with this post