Matt Forney
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Journey of a Red Pill Princess

red-pill-princess

Please welcome our very special guest contributor: Red Pill Princess.

Oh hai there! If you’re wondering who I am, I’m a happily married 32-year old from St. Cloud, Minnesota who has swallowed the red pill. Actually, you could say that I swallow the red pill every day, twice a day! When I first started, the red pill kept triggering my gag reflex, it was so big and hard. Nowadays, I’m proud that I can get it all the way down without flinching! :D It still leaves a funny aftertaste, though…

Anyways, you might be wondering how I came to the red pill. The manosphere can be a dark and scary place at times, what with all the hatred against women you find here. But there’s a lot of wisdom too.

Shortly after my 30th birthday, I realized that there was a huge void in my life. After spending my post-college years traveling the world to find myself, I came back to my hometown of Des Moines and began a career as a human resources officer for Wells Fargo. I had an annual income north of $50,000, I had a nice apartment in the suburbs, and I had the latest, greatest iPhone model. I even had enough vacation time to visit NYC and LA every year, to the jealous murmurs of my girlfriends. And most of all, I had my pick of Des Moines’ most eligible bachelors.

But despite all this, I wasn’t haaaaaappy. :(

Even with all the money, electronics and hot guys I could dream of, I felt unsatisfied. It was like there was this gaping hole in my soul that couldn’t be filled, no matter what was thrusted into it. One Friday night, rather than hitting the bars with my girlfriends, I stayed home because I was so depressed. While mindlessly surfing the Internet and listening to Ke$ha, I stumbled across In Mala Fide: a website that changed my life.

From IMF, I bounced to all the big, huge manosphere blogs: Roissy, Roosh, The Spearhead etc. I was instinctively horrified at all the things they were saying about women—that they needed to forget about their careers, stop being “independent,” marry young and be submissive—yet for some reason, I kept reading. With each article, I grew angrier and more resentful. :x Who did these assholes think they were? What gave them the right to say all those disgusting things about women? What would their mothers think if they knew their sons were posting all this misogynistic drivel on the Internet?

But as I kept reading over days and weeks, I realized that they were right.

I had followed the feminist life trajectory for the first twelve years of my adult life and all I’d gotten out of it was an empty bed and a lot of nights puking cherry daiquiris into my toilet. I felt empty and unfilled. Conventional wisdom wasn’t working out, so I had to make a change.

To begin with, I cancelled my monthly appointment at the salon so I could grow my hair out. I stopped eating out and bought some Betty Crocker cookbooks. I began wearing makeup and high heels almost every day. My friends thought I was being weird, but I knew those bitches were just jealous. I was swallowing the red pill, licking up the drops and loving every minute of it.

I realized that by following my hypergamous impulses, I was thirty years old and unmarried because none of the men I was dating were living up to my high standards. I decided to be more realistic and look for a dependable guy who would make a great father. While wasting time on Facebook one night, I came across the profile of my future husband, the Admiral, and suddenly realized he’d make a great hubby! :) I knew the Admiral from high school; he was a slightly chubby, bookish nerd, a smart kid but on the shy side. In the decade since, going by his profile pic, he’d lost weight and had really grown into himself. I sent him a message saying hi and asking if he wanted to get coffee and catch up, and he accepted!

When I met the Admiral a few days later, he told me that he had been working in the fracking fields of North Dakota as a parts driver, making $80,000 a year. Aside from the aforementioned weight loss, he looked like he hadn’t aged a day! We hit it off great and after six months of my newfound cooking talents (men love Spanish omelets!) and letting him take the lead and feel like a man, he popped the question. I was so overjoyed I nearly fainted, or maybe that was the sherry! :D The manosphere saved my life!

That was nearly three years ago. Since then, we’ve gotten married and moved to St. Cloud to be closer to his job. We have one daughter and will be trying for another little bundle of joy soon! My husband is returning to Williston next week for another month. If any of you big, strong men of the manosphere are passing through St. Cloud and the Twin Cities, feel free to pay me a visit! It gets soooooo lonely up here in the frozen north! ;)

To contact Red Pill Princess, send her an email at redpillprincess [at] gmail [dot] com.

Read Next: A Dead Bat in Paraguay: One Man’s Peculiar Journey Through South America by Roosh V

  • adiaforon

    I’m skeptical. Sounds too much like a “happy ending.”

  • Jorge

    The email doesn’t work….

  • anotheronetakesthepill

    Is it taking the red pill or seeing the wall coming and braking in time?

  • You need to work on your female voice if you’re ever going to become a great novelist, Matt ;)

  • Looks like at least three people here forgot to RTFB.

  • dejour

    So wait – that’s Matt Forney in the picture?

  • Cicero

    It ain’t real yall. It’s a satire of manosphere groupies.

  • Theodore Logan

    I had to RTFB at least three times to makes sure it was you, Matt. Yeah, I know I ain’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.

  • Gar

    Agreed, it’s satire. Thirty year-olds don’t have the pick of eligible bachelors in any town of size unless they’re supermodels. And supermodels don’t work at $50K per year jobs.

    : )

  • You had me going there for a minute – I was reaching for the sick bucket and all!

  • Flobadob

    Yeah, those newly-minted true believers always strike me as just…I dunno. I’d rather not have someone who’s more into it than I am. By the way, nice Midwesternisms.