Kratom is one of those substances I’d wish I’d known about years ago.
I’ll admit that the hype around kratom turned me off to the stuff. Good Looking Loser has been a friend to my site (and a former advertiser) for the longest time, but when I started reading about the “kratom lifestyle,” my brain immediately tuned it out. “What hippie bullshit,” I thought. “Are they gonna start blathering about ‘respecting the herb’ and communing with the spirit animals next?”
Then I actually tried the stuff.
I credit Ann Sterzinger with introducing me to the stuff; when I first met her a year ago, she burned a couple grams of the stuff for me. I started feeling the aroma about twenty minutes later: it made me giddy and energetic, a bizarre blend of Vicodin and speed, retaining the best effects of both and the side effects of neither. As much as I would have liked to sample more, I was leaving for the Philippines the very next day, so that dream was deferred for a few months.
When I first started experimenting with phenibut, I also started testing out various strains of kratom to see if they would help with my anxiety issues. Without a doubt, I’d highly recommend that every man (and woman) try using kratom to see what it can do for them.
NOTE: Federal law prohibits the sale of kratom for human consumption. In the U.S., it is legally sold as an incense and is not intended to be ingested or consumed in any way. Because of this, I refer to using it as “burning” it and its effects as “aroma.” Any comments on this post that refer to ingesting or consuming it will be edited and/or deleted without warning.
What is Kratom?
Kratom (mitragyna speciosa) is a plant originating in Southeast Asia. While not an opiate, when burned, it affects opiate receptors in the brain, providing similar sensations. It also has opiate-esque pain-deadening qualities, though it’s not nearly as strong.
The crucial difference between kratom and opiates is that the former primarily acts on delta receptors, as opposed to the mu receptors that opiates act on. Kratom only acts on mu receptors in exceptionally large doses. Because of this, kratom is not nearly as addictive. If you’re interested in the science of how kratom works, I recommend you read Good Looking Loser’s guide.
Additionally, there are three primary types of kratom: fast, moderate and slow. Fast strains provide energy and reduce anxiety but are less relaxing, while slow strains are the opposite; moderate strains are in between. The type of kratom you get depends on both its geographical origin (Thailand, Malaysia, Bali/Borneo, or Indonesia) and the original color of the leaf (red, green, yellow, or white).
Finally, buying and cycling multiple types of kratom is an absolute must. Much in the same way that phenibut needs to be cycled to keep your body from developing a tolerance, changing up the types of kratom you use allows them to remain effective. Good Looking Loser recommends having at least five different strains if you plan on using it daily; I currently have about three, but I also cycle off kratom for at least two days a week to allow my body to recover.
The Legal Status of Kratom
At the moment, kratom is legal to purchase and use in all but four states: Indiana, Tennessee, Vermont and Wisconsin. It is perfectly legal under federal law to possess it, provided you are purchasing it as an incense and not for human consumption.
While you don’t risk self-incrimination by discussing using it online, given the legally murky nature of the stuff, you’re best off using the “burning” and “aroma” terminology.
Additionally, kratom is perfectly safe to take on an airplane, provided that it’s legal in both your departure and arrival points. To be on the safe side though, you should put it into your checked bags. When I relocated to Chicago last month, I put about $50 worth into my checked suitcase and it arrived at O’Hare just fine. Some folks have also put it into tea tins or coffee bags in order to deter TSA suspicion.
What Does Kratom Feel Like?
Much like phenibut, kratom is best burned on an empty stomach to allow your body to take in the aroma more efficiently. In general though, if you’ve burned the proper amount, the aroma will affect your body very quickly, usually within 10 to 20 minutes.
Burning red strains such as Maeng Da Thai, as I mentioned above, is akin to a weaker combo of speed and Vicodin. Within a half-hour, I feel more energetic and amped up, motivated to kick ass and get things done. At the same time, it deadens any pain I might be feeling, which has been a big help lately as I’ve been having issues with my ankles lately. When I’m on kratom, I can stay on my feet longer and exert myself harder without getting tired.
Basically, kratom is the only high that’s both legal and actually makes you smarter.
Kratom’s effects can also be augmented with other legal supplements. Taking phenibut alongside it, for example, will turn even the shyest basement boy into a social animal. Add in huperzine, vinpocetine and other nootropics and you’ll become a productivity machine.
I’ve also gotten drunk after burning kratom; alcohol seems to dampen the energetic effects while enhancing the pain- and sensory-deadening ones. For example, I recently got drunk after burning five grams, then walked around Chicago at night without a coat while it was 50 degrees out. Didn’t feel nuthin’.
While I don’t know if kratom affects perception in the same way that combining phenibut and alcohol does, I do caution you to avoid burning it and drinking if you’re planning to drive, just to be on the safe side.
Where Do You Buy Kratom?
I get kratom primarily from two sources: Island Lion Herbals and Happy Hippo Herbals. While both are high-quality products, I give the edge to Happy Hippo Herbals for one reason: Happy Hippo Herbals’ kratom has a stronger kick than Island Lion’s. Whereas it takes about 20-30 minutes for me to feel the aroma after burning Island Lion’s kratom, the Happy Hippo aroma kicks in around ten minutes after burning.
How to Use Kratom
Much like with my phenibut advice, my kratom schedule is based along Good Looking Loser’s recommendations, though I’ve modified it to fit my needs. Feel free to tinker with it to find what works best for you.
Kratom is best burned on an empty stomach, first thing in the morning. The ideal amount to burn to start off with is three grams: if you’re using either Island Lion or Happy Hippo’s variety, this should be more than enough. You should start feeling the aroma in about 20-30 minutes, possibly sooner. If you’re not feeling anything 30 minutes in, burn another 500 milligrams to two grams. This amount should last you about five to six hours, at which point you can burn more to keep the high going.
If you’re not burning it on an empty stomach, you’ll need to increase the amounts you use. I usually burn about five grams if I’ve eaten recently, though I’ll occasionally go up to six. Additionally, if you’re a woman and/or weigh less than 150 pounds, you should halve the initial dosage just to be on the safe side.
Additionally, remember which strain you burned. If you’re planning to burn it every day, write down which strains you used (or are planning to use) on what days, and only burn one strain per day. This will keep your receptors fresh and help you avoid building up a tolerance. If you don’t have at least five strains to burn, you’ll need to cycle off the stuff entirely for at least two days a week, otherwise you’re just wasting your stash.
As a general rule, I try not to exceed burning 9-10 grams a day, as too much of it makes me logy and unmotivated. As with all substances, it’s best to start with small amounts and work your way up to what works for you. While burning kratom is not very addictive, if you abuse it, you’ll end up ruining any benefits it provides you.
While you’re never going to hear me bleating about the “kratom lifestyle” (at least, I hope not), burning the stuff has improved my life immeasurably. Provided you use it properly, it can enhance your mind, improve your productivity, dull pain and make your daily routine so much more efficient.
Click here to buy Happy Hippo Herbals kratom.
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