Matt Forney
Spread the Word!
effort

Ladies, Just Make a Tiny Effort

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

Times are tough in 2014. Men are blaming women, women are blaming men, and dating—which is supposed to be about love—has morphed into gender war. It’s hard out there for everyone.

The manosphere is rightfully taking off, blogs are popping up left and right, and “red pill women” are becoming an ever-increasing presence on the Internet. Good for them. I can respect anyone who takes the path of self-improvement, and self-improvement has always been at the core of the red pill, the manosphere, or whatever the hell people are calling themselves these days.

I have only done one post on dating advice for women, something that I have always truly believed, and now, almost 2 entire years later, I will hit you with another one. You ready for this?

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Effort.

One word. Many possible meanings. Effort. Just put in a tiny bit of effort and you are already miles ahead of other women. I guarantee it.

What exactly do I mean by effort? Consider the following story, which happened to me about two weeks ago.

Some friends of mine in Jersey were having a get together. I love those parties: they usually involve smoking, drinking, gaming, catching up with friends, all done in pure excess. They’ve always been a blast. Usually, I would ask one of my local friends to pick me up from the train station and give me a ride to the party. It’s one of those “too long to walk but very short in a car” distances. Plus, like just about every area in the U.S. outside major cities, sidewalks don’t really exist there.

However this time, I decided to meet an old flame for lunch. She’s from Jersey, a few towns over from where the party was held. Now, this wasn’t a date and I had no sexual intentions: I just wanted to see what this girl was up to, catch up, trade some stories, the like. Normal stuff. So, instead of having one of my friends pick me up at the train station, I asked her to take care of it, and she happily obliged.

Now this is where things took an unexpected turn.

I texted her, letting her know that I was going to board the 1:14 pm train out of Penn Station and was scheduled to arrive around 1:55. The plans were in place. And then, while I was still in Penn Station waiting for the gate assignment, my cell phone unexpectedly died (no prior low battery warning or anything, I was in the green for battery life).

Now, I usually charge my phone at my home or office computers, partly because I lost the AC adapter to my charger, so I only had a USB iPhone connector in my bag. There were no charger stations anywhere and I could not recall this girl’s number off the top of my head, or my friend;s number for that matter. I was on my way to Jersey with a dead iPhone.

“No problem,” I thought to myself. I had given this girl my estimated arrival time, and there is a prominent waiting area at that station where cars scoop up people that have just arrived. There were no other arrival areas.

All this girl had to do was to realize that my phone probably died, but I told her when I should be arriving, and to meet me at the one place where she could. Easy stuff, right?

You can guess what happened.

First, another wrench was thrown into my plans: the train took its sweet time because of the snowy mess Mother Nature littered all over the Northeast earlier that week. I stepped off the train at 2:10 pm and walked over to the waiting area.

And to my surprise, I saw this girl waving at me from her car!

Psych! It was actually someone who looked similar, waving to a group of people walking behind me. I was almost pleasantly surprised. I walked around the waiting area, looking and waiting… nothing. Soon enough, I was the last guy waiting at the waiting area. To be honest, due to this girl’s history of lateness, I didn’t know if she arrived on time then left, or if she had even arrived at all.

All she had to do was realize that my phone probably died and the trains were probably delayed. All she had to do was to hang out in that parking lot for a little bit, literally sit on her ass for a little bit longer. All she had to do was put in the tiniest bit of effort, and she couldn’t do that.

And once again, I reacted the same way I always react: with anger, passion, and furor! Just kidding. This was me:

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I’ve come to expect shitty behavior and a lack of effort from girls, so, sadly, this was nothing new. Think about it. How much shitty female behavior have we witnessed as individuals? What is more surprising and rare at this point: shitty behavior or awesome behavior?

And this isn’t just in the dating world either. I have an older stepsister, and over the weekend, we hit up the Devils game since I had a ticket hookup. Of course she was late, of course it was an excuse-du-jour, and of course I was not the tiniest bit surprised by this. In fact, I’m more surprised when she’s exactly on time, a rare feat for her.

Funny coincidence: almost all the girls I went out with were late on the first date. The ones that weren’t? I always ended up dating them for a while. Funny coincidence indeed.

This universally lowered bar for women was touched upon by a recent Cracked article by a woman attempting to create the worst online dating profile ever. She chose to chastise men for being thirsty (which they are), but as Vox Day points out, her actions are nothing special, because let’s face it: we’re used to hot girls being mean, spoiled, manipulative, ignorant golddiggers. It’s nothing new. That behavior is just part of the game now. (By the way, read over both posts when you have time, they’re fantastic.)

Ladies, take note: the bar is set incredibly low for you, so by clearing it—even a little bit—you are putting yourself way above the competition. Do the little things right: arrive on time, dress up just a tiny bit, reply to texts right away, remember the things he likes. My ex was an expert on this. One day she brought me over some green apples, cornichons and Pepsi Max (all stuff I love), I wanted to kiss her a thousand times over, I was so ecstatic over a gesture so seemingly small. Another time, she bought me a New Jersey Devils shot glass. Then she bought me ninja bobbleheads. She was good. That was part of the reason the breakup was so difficult.

You can do this, because this—unlike most other dating advice—goes both ways.  Aren’t girls always complaining that guys don’t do the little things? Aren’t you already projecting the same stuff on a date that you are looking for (for example, girls who are looking for guys with good jobs always seem to brag about theirs)? This one is easy, ladies.

So the next time you’re out with a guy, find out if he likes cheesy action movies (he most likely will), and before the second date, hit up the $5 DVD bin at your local store and get him one. His eyes will light up, and he will be yours.

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Plus another person will witness the awesomeness that is Chill Factor. And that will make the world a better place.

Read Next: What is the Nature of Love?

  • ng85

    Another great post from Kid Strangelove! I’ve noticed the lateness thing too. The way I combat it is by being late to the date, myself, usually 10-15 minutes. If she’s even later than me, especially without an excuse or a text to let me know, I just assume she’s selfish and this date will go nowhere.

    I also dig the ideas of compliance tests where you try and get a girl to do simple tasks for you. Most of the time you need to ask them to do simple common courtesy tasks. But if she offers to, say, get you a napkin or another drink, then chances are you’re in – Girls today are so privileged and trapped inside their own inflated egos that if they even show some simple manners towards you then it probably means she really likes you (This only works for American women, though – I’ve found European and South American women living in the US will do these kind gestures for guy’s they’re not interested in sexually, but only because women from these countries are actually taught proper manners).

  • ng85

    I’m also curious is anyone else has noticed an exponential rise in flakiness since the advent of the smartphone. When I was in college in the early 2000s I didn’t have a cell phone (Pretty much everyone else did, though), but I was still able to make plans with girls and have them keep them. Once I got a cell phone I only got flaked on once by a girl who claimed she had to study, then called me later saying she was high as shit. But smartphones allow so many ways to contact someone that if you’re not the bigger, better thing then you’ll be left in the dust for the bigger, better thing. Ever go to a party and the prettiest girl is sitting down playing on her phone all night? She’s looking for that bigger, better thing (Hell, I’ve seen girls at bars full of guys on her phone playing with Tinder).

  • johnparker237

    You’re right, smart phones have definitely made it harder for people to want to spend enough time with one another for an actual relationship to develop. It goes both ways, for guys it’s also easier to find girls. Harder to make a choice when there are seemingly way more choices.

  • This is actually a valid complaint. As someone below said, flakiness. It is expected for us to wait 8 hours in a parking lot due to a delayed plane. All the adult responsibilities have been moved onto us. I’ve had many great girls in my life, but only one of them ever had at least equal behaviours I had, the rest I felt like I was a parent taking care of a kid.

  • I enjoy watching females pretending to interact with each other with their eyes glued to their phones forever in theirhand, whilst men still communicate, turn their heads, and lift their eyes from their handset and usually have their phone stowed at all times.