This is a guest post by John Saxon.
Having worked in family law and civil litigation all my life, and after going through divorce myself—with a family of seven children—my advice to young men today is the same as that which I gave my seven sons: don’t marry, or live in de facto relationships. Just. Don’t. Don’t do this even with the alleged use of the safety net of prenuptial agreements, which I have found to be the equivalent of condoms: there will still be legal loopholes and technicalities and strategies for getting around them. Once in a while a swimmer will get through, and you will be fucked. However, I am not offering legal advice in this article—which would be foolish due to differences across jurisdictions—but red pill grandfatherly advice based on experience. And, of course, not all of my sons have listened to their crazy old man: hence grandchildren, but also the first divorce of my next generation.
Why should the topic of marriage and long term relationships be raised before a generation of internet/IT literate young men who are presumably savvy about women and the oppressive system which men now live under? The reason is that usually in their mid-thirties, men often get the biological urge to see their seed not merely sprayed over vaginal walls, but sown. Thoughts of having children—primarily a son to carry on one’s line—begin to irrationally seep into the mind, like water through a box gutter, slowly dripping onto your important documents. And then, before you know it, you have impregnated someone who will be certain to give you a life time of misery, at best. It happened to me.
Roosh, whom we all know and admire—someone whom I would be proud to have as a son—has expressed the desire to get married and start a family if he can find a suitable woman, and be an “Alpha Provider.” As an intelligent guy, he has given a number of criteria which any potential future mother of your child should meet, as the title of this article indicates: “The Future Mother of Your Child Should be a Virgin Who Believes in God.”
Virginity is essential for the sociological reason that women having more than one premarital relationship have an increased rate of divorce. See J. Teachman’s article “Premarital Sex, Premarital Cohabitation, and the Risk of Subsequent Marital Dissolution Among Women” in the Journal of Marriage and Family, vol. 65, 2003, pp. 444-455. But more important that this are biological and genetic reasons, namely that a woman’s body incorporates DNA form the semen of her casual sex partners. Genetic material is also exchanged through semen-borne noncoding RNA and seminal proteins (see A. Crean et al., “Revisiting Telegony: Offspring Inherit an Acquired Characteristic of their Mother’s Previous Mate,” Ecology Letters, vol. 17, 2014, pp. 1545-1552). There may also be spermatozoa-somatic cell fusion, that is, fusion of sperm and female body cells (see S. V. Brodsky and I. Ivanov, “Spermatozoa-Somatic Cell Fusion: A Mechanism for Microchimerism Formation,” Journal of Theoretical Biology, vol. 259, 2009, pp. 190-192). The work of Chinese biologist Y.S. Liu, has gone a long way to rehabilitating Aristotle’s theory of telegony, the idea that offspring can inherit the characteristics of a female’s previous mating partners (see Y.S. Liu, “Circulating Nucleic Acids and Darwin’s Gemmules,” Expert Opinion on Biological Therapy, vol. 12, 2012, [sup], S225-S226).
The conclusion to be drawn here is that women who are spittoons for cum are likely to become cucks to themselves, incorporating past genetic material into their genome, as well making any husband a cuck as well. Finding a virgin for a potential wife will be difficult, but not impossible, and will usually involve searching for a woman with a traditional religious background. At worst, you could abandon Western civilization and go full Muslim. That would have the added bonus of likely producing a woman who would want to be a stay-at-home mother, as well as believing in God. God can keep His eye on her, while you work your ass off… or so the fairy tale goes. And don’t worry about saving Western civilization; nobody else is.
Location is an important consideration for the success of marriage, with factors to consider such as the divorce rate of the country, the nature of divorce and custody laws—and how anti-male they are—the country’s views on the traditional family, whether the country has atheistic/multicultural values or traditional spiritual values, and what degenerate cultural forces are operating to destroy the family. Roosh rightly concluded that it is unlikely that an alpha provider can successfully establish his family in the West.
Long before Roosh, St. Jerome (A.D. 347-420), in Epistola adversus Jovinianum (Letter Against Jovinian) and later, Bartolomeo Scala (1430-1497), a politician and administrator in the Florentine Republic, in his letter to Piero de Medici, “Whether a Wise Man Should Marry” (1457-1459), reached the same conclusion. They both followed Theophrastus (B.C. 371-287), Aristotle’s successor at the Lyceum, who in his book Liber Aureolus de Nuptiis (The Golden Book of Marriage), gave four conditions for marriage: (1) the woman should be beautiful; (2) the woman should be of good character; (3) she should come from a good family and (4) the man should be in good health. St. Jerome and Scala, following Theophrastus, believed that these conditions would be rarely met; beauty quickly fades and the woman becomes a bush pig; good character is often hard to decide when women and their families engage in deception to off-load a burdensome daughter, and likewise for the character of a family. The idea that children will carry on one’s name after death—giving one a symbolic immortality—is sheer nonsense, and it is more likely that your children will forget you once they have their claws on the estate, and if they remember you at all, they will piss on your grave. Children were seen even then as no comfort in old age, and today, they cannot be found to help when you need it, after a lifetime of support and up to $250,000 (or more) spent on the little darlings from cradle to university. Children are more pain than joy; a liability, not an asset, and not a rational reason for marriage.
This conclusion is in agreement with other authorities. A Pew Research Center poll of men and women aged 18-34 found that the percentage of respondents saying that a successful marriage is the most important thing to them for women rose from 28 to 37 percent from 1997 to 2013, and for men dropped from 35 to 29 percent over the same period. In her article “The War on Men,” Suzanne Venker identified even then that feminism has created a culture hostile to men, and has destroyed the traditional role of men as breadwinner, provider and protector. The title of Hanna Rosin’s book The End of Men and the Rise of Women sums it all up.
Until some sort of collapse of the present system occurs—which will allow sanity to be restored—expect more of the same. Consequently, attempting to build a traditional family in Western society will be a loser’s game. The odds of success are greatly against you. Thus, many men will seek to go to countries less culturally degenerate than say the United States. Eastern Europe is apparently fast catching up on the West, but many parts of southeast Asia and South America are options, if your business arrangements will allow it. I have already mentioned the Muslim option. If one needs to stay in the West for business or personal reasons, there is always game, satisfying at least one’s sexual urges through the practice of using psychology and strategy to out-fox the vixen. Game is an essential survival package for all men, but it too has its limits. Unless you have money to burn, and burn it at will, as you get older, the number of trophy pussies that you can hunt down and nail to your wall will diminish. So, too, will their quality. One day you will find yourself a horny, in-shape 60+ year-old, with only women looking almost as bad as Hillary Clinton to fuck. It’s an unpleasant thought, and even worse when you are there.
Hence the merits of prostitution, or what one would prefer, the art of the courtesan: not your cheap street-corner needle-poxed whore, but a sophisticated sexual comforter, best seen in the world of elite prostitution in eighteenth century Paris, the demi-monde (Nina Kushner, Erotic Exchanges). Such a woman would be the equivalent of the Japanese Geisha. The top quality call girl is not a victim, and usually enters the sex industry just to make money. If they are being fucked anyway by gamers, then why not make some money? They usually love sex, and often cum for real with clients, or maybe after being worked up by a number of clients. The image of the abused hooker applies to only a minority of prostitutes, as Miriam Weeks pointed out in an article in Rolling Stone. Further, prostitution abuse is largely a product of criminalization and making the activity an underground activity. Regulation can make the activity safer for sex workers, as the example of the Netherlands illustrates.
If casual sex is acceptable, then, it has been argued, so is prostitution (see O. M. Moen, “Is Prostitution Harmful?” Journal of Medical Ethics, vol. 40, 2014, pp. 73-81). It is insane that a woman can bang half a suburb, but if a man leaves a few bits of colored paper after the deed, he—and she—are criminals. Prostitution is decriminalized in my jurisdiction, but is not in most of the United States, so beware of your local laws and exercise common sense and good judgment.
It has been argued by feminists that marriage is just a legal form of prostitution, and Relampago Furioso has given a neomasculine take on this as well. Marriage has always been based on economic exchange: sex for security. From this perspective, there is nothing wrong at all, if it is legal, to seek out sexual comfort from a pro, rather than some rank amateur.
Back in the early 1980’s, I was training at a power-lifting gym. I met a large, old tattooed lifter, about 54 years old then. He traveled the country on his motorbike, surviving by counting cards in blackjack games in various casinos. He was really good at this. During the day he went to various gyms to train, and at night he cleaned himself up and went to the casino, to take a small amount of cash, and then leave. He would save up money for banging call girls. He laughed at relationships: “I don’t need love, but I do need to fuck!” Once he had been a farmer, but had lost it all in a divorce. He had kids, but they did not want to see their “loser” father. So, he decided to “enjoy the decline.”
I think he was right, and I wished that I met him before I got married, but in those pre-Internet days, we were on our own. You, however, have no excuse to make those mistakes. Nobody cares about you but you yourself, and thus you owe it to yourself to have a great life: without a wife, or even a stable girlfriend!
John Saxon is a retired lawyer, who has practiced family law and civil litigation since the early 1980’s, primarily defending men in a feminist legal system. He is divorced with seven grown-up children, three grandchildren and an insane ex-wife, described by her own mother as a “drug taking whore.” He became “red-pilled” the hard way, before the Internet and neomasculinity. His articles are based on his own experiences and that of an older generation of men, gleamed from his legal practice, from beatings on the anvil of life. In his final years, he hopes to help young men with grandfatherly red pill advice of the old school.