Matt Forney
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Women Only Say You Have a Small Penis After You Stop Calling Them Back

small-penis

This is a guest post by the Captain Power.

I never realized that I had a small penis until 1996, during my junior year of High School. Although I had urinated on my testicles several times after waking up in my parents’ freezing basement, I never really thought anything of it.

During my junior year of high school I finally started talking to some women in my school, and I was introduced to this crazy girl named Lisa. Lisa was really laid back, and she used to hang out with some of my guy friends after class.

One day we were goofing around and Lisa started ramming her hand down our pants to see who had the biggest shlong. She rammed her arm down my loose Adidas pants when I wasn’t looking (I was on the track team), and then she screamed out “Wow, that is a cute one! It’s so tiny!” I thought she was joking until she took her arm out of my pants and rammed it down my friend Fred’s pants.  Fred was fresh off the boat from Italy, and after putting her hand down his pants she yelled out “Wow, that’s a huge one!”

I didn’t hear any other comments about my penis until I started dating heavily in my mid-twenties. I was seeing this short, fat Italian girl from my neighborhood for a while, but after a couple weeks I couldn’t stand her and stopped calling her back. I ran into some of her friends at a bar one night, and when I walked inside they all started snickering at me. I went up to the bar to get a drink and said out loud “Should I get the big one, or the small one?” and all five of her friends started cracking up laughing. That’s when I knew: that stupid bitch told all of her friends that I had a small penis after I stopped calling her back!

Six months later I started dating another girl from my neighborhood. After a couple weeks I also realized that this girl was insane, and I stopped calling her back also. I ran into her at the gym a couple days later, where I playfully flexed my arm and said “Do I look any bigger?” and she snickered at me and replied “Trust me, it isn’t that big!”

Again! I was told that I had a small penis twice within a six month period.

And do you know why?

Because women only say you have a small penis after you stop calling them back.

The Captain Power blogs at Captain Power’s Underground Training Site. Also check out his book Work Out, Lose Weight and Stop Being Single.

Read Next: All Women Have Sex Within 24 Hours of Breaking Up with You

  • Jeremy

    Until you stop calling them back, there’s still a possibility in their mind that you might give them some tingles. It is interesting that the follow-up-insults never focus on the alpha-ness of the man, but rather a physical attribute. That’s like loving a girl for her body and feminimity, but when she breaks up with you telling all your friends that she’s poor like it’s an insult.

  • My buddies and I used to call it “The Amazing Shrinking Penis.” They brag about your girth while you’re dating, complain when you break up.

    It certainly shows the sort of class young women have, nowadays – low class. Teasing somebody for a physical deformity is pretty sadistically cruel – a micropenis is a valid reason to break up, certainly, but a cruel thing to tease a man about. Of course, if they’re reverting to spreading rumours about that, it’s because they lack anything else to criticize you about.

    You know, it strikes me that micropenis rumours are roughly on par with spreading around nudie photos of her. Which one of those gets prosecuted, or even shunned nowadays?

    We Men need to Man the fuck up and stop tolerating this sort of horrid behaviour. Women get away with whatever misbehaviour we allow.

  • This is absolutely true. Being female, I have the misfortune of hearing every tiny detail of other female’s lives including all the sex bits. Even the guys that have large dicks while they are dating (OMG, it was soooo HUGE!!!), always have “pinky slim” dicks when they dump the girl. If the guy is really lucky, the girl will use her thumb instead of her pinky to demonstrate size.

    I think they do this so that their friends don’t go after him.

  • Ed: Just to be perfectly crystal on this:

    When a woman’s complaining about a micropenis, it’s 99% guaranteed that she’s just trying to shit on a guy who won’t fuck her. You could pull out a photo of your 8″ to show the group, and they’d still say they’d seen bigger.

    Women are stupid like that.

  • They will do anything to gain the upper hand!!

  • LS

    Just tell her, “Yeah, I guess it looks small compared to yours.”

  • Blackburn

    She said, “I didn’t realize you would have such a small organ.” He said, “I didn’t know I would be playing in such a big cathedral.”

  • AnonymousBosch

    There was an Anti-Speeding Advertising thing down here in Oz a few years back, that basically had women watching guys speeding past in their cars, and the girls all holding up their little fingers at each other. The tagline: ‘Speeding: No one thinks big of you”. Typical man-shaming bullshit. You can imagine how fast it would have been stopped if the ad compared the tightness of a women’s vagina to a Gumboot.

  • Emily

    It’s funny how you are upset that women make fun of your body but when you make fun of theirs, “short, fat, Italian girl…” it’s not an issue. It’s funny! It’s funny ’cause she’s fat! Just thought I’d point out the double standard.

  • frank

    @Emily,

    There’s a difference between fat shaming (weight is something you have full control over, verses penis shaming (you have no control over genital size – men don’t, at least).

    Men aren’t even supposed to mention things like weight which women have 100% control over, while women find it perfectly acceptable to joke about a body part men have NO control over.

    See, that’s what a double standard is, emily. I hope your feeble brain learned something today.

  • It is because they feel offended and they are trying to attack back :)

  • joeCT1983

    …Emily is probably a shamed, short, fat chick with a Fishy Cathedral between her legs… and, she probably uses that more than what she’s got between her ears… I find your post and your remarks much more palatable and respectful and “within the norm of common decency” than I do, well, anyone who comments like the way in which Saint Emily’s Cathedral does. *shout out to @Blackburn for the “Cathedral” euphemism. :)

  • PRINCE

    What kind of a girl was that and what kind of place was that in school? Girl putting her hands down guy’s pants? WHAT THE FUCK? Why don’t I put my hands down girl’s panties and down(or up) their shirt?

  • man get a surgery done…. yours might really be very small

  • Joey

    Lol haven’t dated at all but i’m prepared for the worst all the body shaming, laughing, pointing, making you less of a man all the cruel shit women do to kill a man’s confidence for life not to mention future sex life