Matt Forney
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first date

Online Dating Chronicles: The 18-Year Old — My Best Worst First Date

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog on March 18, 2012, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

“The original X-Men cartoon, the Simpsons, the OJ Simpson trial, Desert Storm, portable CD players, CompuServe and Prodigy, the movie The Rock, Mr T. not in reruns, New Kids on the Block, Live Aid…”

“I get it dude, she’s 18!” I interrupted my roommate, laughing along.

“No, I’m going to keep listing things off that are younger than your date. Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. No, scratch that: Mortal Kombat II and Street Fighter II. We own bottles of scotch older than your date.”

I knew my choice to date an 18-year old would draw a little heat, but it was a lot less than I expected. Female friends said—with a noticeable bit of discomfort—that I would have nothing in common with her. The older the girl, the more uncomfortable her reaction (highlighted by a 32-year old friend of a friend, who kept mentioning her “crazy and mature” sex life but stopped dead on the subject after I told her about my date). This was something I was expecting given my experience of reading manosphere blogs, but it was still interesting to observe in person.

The girl was a Russophile, so to give her homework for the date, I told her to check out these two amazing Russian movies I enjoyed. People that love a particular culture are known to be incredibly receptive to sex from a member of that culture. I’ve seen French, Italian and Spanish guys use this method with great success in the past, but every once in a while a girl confesses to liking Russia, and in the back of my mind I think, “oh yeah, I’m in there.”

She looked every bit her 18 years: a smile not destroyed by years of alcohol and tobacco abuse, a perfect ass in perfectly tight jeans. She said she was into art, so I took her to some of my Thursday night artfagging spots. This was gonna be a good night…

Except it wasn’t. I’d hate to let the haters have this one, but they were right: we just had nothing in common. Despite her Russophilia, despite all my usual awesome stories, my swag and the presence of free alcohol, the spark just didn’t light.

While I mentioned a cool hangout spot for our next date, she texted me after a while and said something like, “Hey, I had a really great time tonight and you are really hot and fun, however I just wasn’t really feeling it. Please don’t take this personally as I rally did have a good time tonight.” So there we go, rejected by the 18-year old. And you know what?

first date

She let me know right away instead of beginning a slow disappearing act, or trying to squeeze a free dinner out of it. And on that first date, since it was an art night, you know how much money I spent? Zero dollars. That’s right. The entire night cost me zero dollars.

So what’s the lesson in all of this? Ladies, letting a guy down directly is better than letting it flake fizzle out 99 percent of the time. Gentlemen, while frustration at rejection will always be there, no matter what kind of rejection happens, you will feel hit particularly hard if you spent money on a girl beforehand. So keep the costs low (or zero) until sex (or at least some hard point of no return). Your sanity will thank you, because there is no worse feeling than waking up in a bed with no girl and a bunch of receipts.

This 18-year old had more social graces than women I have encountered in their mid-twenties. Guess it’s time to play with my OkCupid age filter.

Read Next: Elite Online Dating: Read, Click, Bang — She’s Yours by Nicholas Jack

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