Matt Forney
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Archive Monthly Archives: May 2012

North to Canada

So I’ve decided to change gears. I’m still walking across America to Portland, Oregon. But before I do that, I’m going north to Montreal to cover the student protests. That is, assuming they don’t die out by the time I get there. One of my bigger recent regrets was not joining #OccupyWallStreet before it was […]

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Roadkill Nation

My first experience, if you can call it that, with roadkill was when I was a little kid. I was with my family and we were driving back from my grandparents’ house when we hit a bump in the road. My mom, who was driving, said that we’d run over a chipmunk. Naturally, this upset […]

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Women Are Just as Socially Retarded as Men

By now I’m sure you’ve read the CNN article “‘The Demise of Guys’: How Videogames and Porn Are Ruining a Generation,” the latest “man up” shaming piece the MSM has belched out. I’ve written an essay for In Mala Fide addressing its main thesis that will be up later this week; I was going to include […]

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Byron in Love: A Short Daring Life by Edna O’Brien

Poetry sucks. Just admit it. Every single one of us hated reading it in school. The older stuff from the Romantic and Victorian periods isn’t so bad, but I’d rather have my fingernails removed then have to read a single line of “free verse” ever again (unless it’s by Stevens or Cummings). Byron is one […]

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What’s in a Name?

For the longest time, I hated my name. It’s not hard to see why someone would hate being named “Forney,” what with all the ways that jackasses could twist it around; “Corny,” “Horny,” “Fornicator,” etc. It’s Anglicized from the original “Fournier,” a legacy of my French-Canadian heritage. French last names are pretty common in upstate […]

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Oh, to Die Young and Leave a Beautiful Corpse!

Choose life. That’s the unofficial motto of our times. Americans fear nothing more than death. The federal deficit is sky-high because Baby Boomers are abusing Medicare so they can stuff their faces with prescription pills of every variety, anything to postpone the inevitable. Ads for suicide prevention hotlines are ubiquitous, and Christians condemn people who […]

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BUtterfield 8 by John O’Hara

Most people have forgotten John O’Hara and this book by extension, one of his finest novels. If they do know BUtterfield 8, it’s only because of the movie based on it, and then only because Elizabeth Taylor won her first Oscar for her role in the film. O’Hara was an immensely talented novelist, referred to by […]

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Women Are Not the Enemy

A great post from Simon Grey on why the “woman strike” is going to fail: The second reason is more telling. Aside from a few precious anonymous internet commenters who will undoubtedly descend to the comments section of this post to disprove the assertions of this sentence’s second clause, I doubt that there are any […]

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The Secret Life of Matt Forney

Once a week, I drive over to a nondescript music store for a half-hour guitar lesson. The rest of the week, for 15-30 minutes a day, I practice on my own. I assemble my cheap fold-out music stand, pull out my lesson books and go through the exercises. Depending on how much free time I […]

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Why I’m Not Voting Anymore

On Election Day four years ago, I was in my dorm room alone, working on an essay to hand in for class the next day. I didn’t bother watching any election coverage, aside from the Daily Show. At eleven o’clock, when the major news networks started calling the race for Obama, some clown came barreling […]

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