Matt Forney
Spread the Word!
reward

Why You Should Always Reward Yourself for Success

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog on July 3, 2012, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

It was around Christmas time a few years ago, and, as usual, I was killing myself at the gym. On Thursdays, there was a kickboxing class taught by a actual fighter, so this was no fluffy Tae Bo. This was bag work, sprints, kicking, and for me, a shirt completely soaked through with sweat.

I was absolutely exhausted and ready to head home, eat something and pass out. But then I saw a woman from the class jump on an elliptical machine. Wait, didn’t she just go through the same hour of hell that I just did? That is freaking impressive! So I went up to her and asked, “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but it’s really amazing to see you do more stuff after that class. Your energy level is unreal. How do you do it?”

Her answer still rings with me to this day:

I always make sure to reward myself a little, no matter what I do. This keep me motivated, and even when I’m drained, I keep pushing to really earn that reward. What do you do to reward yourself?

I didn’t have an answer, because, to be honest, I never thought about rewarding myself. All of my rewards were external: the fitness rewards came from people telling me I look better, the professional rewards came from getting paid and getting praised, and everything good I did had to be viewed through another person’s eyes. This was wrong.

After the gym, I went home and played video games for two hours, because that was my reward for the night. And I fucking loved it.

But in the world of dating and macking, there have always been intermediate rewards that make you feel good. From getting her to laugh for the first time, to exchanging numbers, to calling the number, to going on a date, to having a great time on the date, to rinsing and repeating until you have sex and/or enter a relationship, everything seems to have been laid out for us.

But not in 2012. Now, there are no guarantees when it comes to girls. We’ve all had phone numbers that are dead, dates that flaked on us, and excuses that we’ve heard over and over again. In 2012, nothing seems certain with a woman until you had sex, and that paints a pretty bleak picture. Interactions have no certainty, phone numbers have no certainty, dates have no certainty.

I joked to my friends last week, saying, “Hey, remember back in 2002 when getting a girls phone number actually meant something?”

So, in 2012, in your pursuit of sex, it’s up to you to make your own rewards. And yes, many of those interactions will lead nowhere, but any action at all is better than no action. And whatever positive energy you gain from your reward, you can carry it over to other parts of your life, and let your positivity, happiness and energy lead you to success.

Two weeks ago, I spotted an absolute hottie waiting for the train. She was tall, skinny, and had a visible thigh gap. I was hung over and dressed in clothes too warm for 100 degree weather (I’d partied and passed out with friends the night before), I was sweaty and nervous, but I still said something. Before I knew it, I’d found out that she’s a model that had just arrived to NYC, and she barely knows the city and is lost. I took her where she needed to go and we exchanged numbers.

I’d like to tell you this story had a happy ending. I’d like to tell you that me and this model made sweet love, then had breakfast and went to New York’s tourist landmarks. I’d like to say that, but I can’t. She never responded to my texts. Overall, it was a failure.

But was it? I battled the odds, and successively hit on a gorgeous girl in the subway (no small task), while nearly dying from my hangover. I am super proud of that, no matter the final outcome, and the energy from that interaction has stayed with me and made my subsequent interactions with girls all that much better.

reward

Thanks for the salute, John.

So, what’s the lesson here? Be proud of what you’ve done and reward yourself, because you deserve it, and no one else is gonna do that for you. Sure, life might seem all or nothing—and in an all or nothing scenario, results might seem impossibly far—but by acknowledging and celebrating every single milestone along the way, those goals seem to get just a bit closer every time.

I leave you with the most inspiring fitness pic ever.

reward

Read Next: J Off Like it’s Your Day Off: A Counter to the NoFap Movement