Long before Roosh was searching for poosy paradise in the darkest corners of eastern Europe, he was traveling across South America seeking to crack the code that is Latin women. Bang Colombia is the very first travel guide he ever published, and it remains one of his more interesting due to its in-depth analysis of one of the continent’s most overlooked countries.
When most Americans think of Colombia, they think of either cocaine or the decades-long civil war that’s been slow-boiling in the country’s jungles. They also know that it’s supposedly one of the most dangerous places to travel in Latin America. Thing is, most Americans are stupid, as Roosh goes into detail about the reality on the ground:
Whenever someone “jokes” with me about getting kidnapped in Colombia, I know they’re an idiot who has probably never stepped outside of the United States. Kidnapping should be your absolute last concern. You have a bigger chance of killing yourself in a bathtub or choking on a jellybean, but if you want to go on an unguided tour in parts of the jungle where the FARC are known to have a presence, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to make out a will beforehand.
But what are the women like? If you’re looking for passionate girls with curvy bodies and Catholic hangups, Colombia’s your place:
The Colombian girl is definitely not afraid of falling in love quickly and would rather do so than “play the field” like American girls (consider that in Colombia there’s no word for “dating” or “seeing” someone—you’re either a friend or a boyfriend). Since she’s more nervous about losing her man, she’ll be better tuned to serving your emotional and physical needs, assuming two things: (1) she’s at least twenty-one years old and has prior experience with men, and (2) you keep your game tight by remaining aloof and only slightly caring.
Unfortunately, Colombian girls are not only jealous and nosy, they’re flaky as all hell and difficult to approach due to the country’s second world status. You’ll have to pull out all the stops if you want your flag, including making use of the dreaded Internet, ordinarily the refuge of the socially stunted and unfuckable. If you’re a day game kind of guy, Colombia is ideal for you because it’s one of the few countries where it’s unequivocally superior to going to the bars.
My biggest disappointment with Bang Colombia is that it lacks the personal stories that Roosh usually includes with his travel guides. Given that this was his first one, though, that’s forgivable. If you’re interested in laying the women of this intriguing country, you’ll want to pick up Bang Colombia ASAP.
Click here to buy Bang Colombia.
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