Matt Forney
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Christian Domestic Discipline for Beginners, Part One: Foundational Principles

NOTE: Nearly a year ago, I ran a blog named Virginia’s Secret Garden for the purpose of making fun of “red pill women” and their beta orbiters in the manosphere. I wrote under the nom-de-plume of “Virginia Robinson,” a happy submissive Christian housewife living in the Midwest… who blogged about her sex life in nauseating detail. You can read more about the hoax here.

Because I’m no longer updating the site, I’ve decided to let the domain VirginiasSecretGarden.com expire. Here is one of the articles I wrote for the blog, originally published on January 6, 2014.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Ephesians 5:22-24

A few people have emailed me asking about what a Christian Domestic Discipline marriage is like, so I figured I’d write this primer to explain it for the curious. Keep in mind that not all CDD marriages are alike, and spanking isn’t the only way to discipline an unruly wife; some couples also use corner time, writing lines and other nonviolent methods of punishment. Nonetheless, this guide will give you a basic overview of CDD for men and women. I’ll try and post a new installment every week, though I can’t promise anything.

christian-domestic-discipline

What is Christian Domestic Discipline?

At its heart, Christian Domestic Discipline is founded on the same principles as other traditional Christian marriages. The man is the head of the household and the woman submits to him in every way. But what is the husband supposed to do when his wife challenges his authority?

That’s where traditional marriages fail. Women are naturally inclined to be defiant; it was Eve’s unwillingness to obey God that got her and Adam exiled from Eden. That’s bad enough, but add in the fact that our feminist society encourages women to be rebellious, and you have a disaster in the making. How does the husband remind his wife who’s in charge?

Having good game isn’t enough. Even the most charmed woman will eventually break out and do something that will displease her man. Ignoring her errors and sins won’t work either, as many women will act out specifically to incite their husbands into punishing them; if he lets everything slide, she slowly loses respect for him and becomes even more resistant to his headship. Some men will snap and beat their wives/girlfriends, but not only is that illegal, disfiguring your wife won’t exactly endear her to you.

Christian Domestic Discipline provides the answer to quieting disobedient wives. CDD empowers the husband (also called the Head of Household or HoH) to enforce his authority over his wife in whatever way he sees fit.

It’s important to stress that CDD marriages must be consensual. A man can’t simply wrestle his wife to the ground the next time she rolls her eyes at him, rip down her skirt and spank her until she bleeds. Before the husband can start implementing discipline, both he and his wife must agree to a set of rules she must follow, as well as the punishments that will result from breaking those rules. Additionally, as in traditional Christian marriages, the wife is only obligated to submit to her husband so long as his commands do not run in opposition to God’s.

Nonconsensual Consent

What distinguishes a CDD marriage from a typical BDSM relationship, aside from the Christian element, is the principle of nonconsensual consent. Most so-called dominant/submissive relationships are fake, because the submissive can stop her master at any time with a safe word. This get-out-of-jail-free card robs the man of all his power; he can dominate her however he likes unless she doesn’t want it. Letting a submissive escape punishment by screaming “banana” whenever things get too rough makes her submission meaningless.

With nonconsensual consent, the wife gives her approval for the CDD relationship, but cannot revoke it afterwards. There are no safe words and no get-out-of-jail-free cards. Once you’ve agreed to let your husband punish you for your misdeeds, your consent is final. This is necessary not only when it comes to the mere act of punishment—I can guarantee you that the first time your husband spanks you, you’ll be crying and pleading for him to change his mind—but for your husband to maintain his position as the head of the household to begin with.

In short, a CDD marriage will allow you to experience true submission: giving yourself to your husband wholly and without reservations.

Some women may balk at giving their husbands this much power over them. While I won’t claim that a CDD marriage is ideal for everyone, if you have difficulty trusting your husband not to abuse his power, why did you marry him? Unconditional trust is the foundation of all relationships; without it, a marriage will inevitably devolve into jealousy-fueled backstabbing. I had no problem asking my husband to lead me in a CDD marriage, because I trust him fully and utterly. I know that he won’t abuse or mistreat me, because if he was the kind of man who would, I wouldn’t have said “yes” to begin with.

That concludes this segment. Next week, I’ll talk about laying the foundations for a Christian Domestic Discipline marriage, including the different types of spankings.

Read Next: Christian Domestic Discipline for Beginners, Part Two: Beginning CDD