Matt Forney
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Christian Domestic Discipline for Beginners, Part Two: Beginning CDD

NOTE: Nearly a year ago, I ran a blog named Virginia’s Secret Garden for the purpose of making fun of “red pill women” and their beta orbiters in the manosphere. I wrote under the nom-de-plume of “Virginia Robinson,” a happy submissive Christian housewife living in the Midwest… who blogged about her sex life in nauseating detail. You can read more about the hoax here.

Because I’m no longer updating the site, I’ve decided to let the domain VirginiasSecretGarden.com expire. Here is one of the articles I wrote for the blog, originally published on January 13, 2014.

Read First: Christian Domestic Discipline for Beginners, Part One: Foundational Principles

In this installment, I’m going to go through the basics of making your marriage into a CDD one, including how to introduce the idea of Christian Domestic Discipline to your spouse, deciding on how to punish your wife for her transgressions (and what constitutes a transgression), and the different types of spankings.

Introducing Your Spouse to Christian Domestic Discipline

Depending on whether you’re the wife or the husband, your approach to talking about CDD will differ. I’m not going to lie: if you’re the wife, you’ll have a much easier time convincing your husband then the other way around. In fact, a large number of CDD marriages—if not the majority—came about because the wife wanted to practice Domestic Discipline.

If you’re a woman, you need to frame your arguments in the language of need. You’re not looking for a sexual thrill (not that there’s anything wrong with that… haha): CDD is a necessity for you to remain submissive and fulfill your duty to both your husband and God. Explain to him that it while it might seem strange by modern standards, wife spanking has a long history throughout Western and world history. If he’s afraid that you sound like a masochist, tell him that the central aspect of CDD is not the spanking/punishment, but the freedom it gives the two of you to live out your natural, God-ordained roles. Finally, if he’s still not convinced, try reminding him that God created women to crave masculine protection and discipline, and in a CDD marriage, you’ll be that much more attracted to him.

If you’re a man, you’ll have to approach CDD with more subtlety. If you’re already committed to living in a traditional Christian marriage, most of your work has already been done for you; frame your arguments around the fact that CDD is a natural extension of your relationship. You need to be positive at all times, reminding your wife that you love her and you want to use Domestic Discipline to improve your relationship. Like with wives trying to convince their husbands, you need to emphasize that the punishment/spanking aspect is not the most important part of CDD.

Laying Down the Law

Once you and your spouse have committed to a Christian Domestic Discipline marriage, you need to establish rules for the wife to follow and punishments for breaking those rules. What these happen to be depend on your kind of relationship, but here’s a good guideline; your rules should be oriented around keeping her from engaging in behavior that’s harmful to her or you. For example, my husband forbids me from texting while driving: if he catches me in the act, it’s a hairbrush spanking for me!

It’s also worthwhile to punish your wife for disrespecting your authority, particularly if she inclines towards being rebellious (more so than usual). For example, my husband spanks me whenever he catches me rolling my eyes at him. While the outsider might think this is abusive, these little revolts against your husband’s headship can turn into big, marriage-destroying ones if you don’t nip them in the bud. It’s the “broken windows” theory of wife management: if my husband gives me a whippin’ every time I roll my eyes at him, he won’t have to worry about me serving divorce papers because I’m not haaapppy. Yippee!

The Three Types of Spankings (and Alternative Punishments)

In CDD marriages, spankings can be grouped into one of three different types: play spankings, maintenance spankings, and punishment spankings.

  • Play spankings are light, pain-free spankings administered at frequent intervals. While they don’t hurt, play spankings are nonetheless important because they remind the wife who is in charge without putting her through the torment of a harsher spanking. Since women often desire their husbands to spank them, play spankings let you indulge this need without creating tension.
  • Maintenance spankings aren’t used by all CDD couples, but many husbands and wives find them a useful mechanism for ensuring wifely obedience. Similarly to play spankings, maintenance spankings are administered at regular intervals and are used to remind the wife of her role, but these spankings are harsher and involve inflicting some pain on her. Maintenance spankings can also be used to punish a series of minor transgressions all at once.
  • Punishment spankings are the most severe of all three, and the ones that Christian Domestic Discipline is most commonly associated with. These spankings are used to discipline the wife for a serious infraction by inflicting serious amounts of pain on her. Punishment spankings reinforce in her mind that she’s been very bad and allow her to seek absolution in one go. Additionally, since punishment spankings usually end with the wife in tears, they’re very effective for providing her with emotional catharsis. For us girls, emotions are like guys and their sperm; we need a release every so often or otherwise we go nuts, haha.

Keep in mind that spanking your wife is not the only way to punish her. If you’re reticent about inflicting pain on your wife, you can give her nonviolent punishments such as making her stand in the corner, writing lines, or washing her mouth out with soap. I can’t comment on these punishments because my husband is personally opposed to them. That’s my hubby: he doesn’t mind hitting me with a hairbrush, but having me write “I will not disobey my husband” 200 times is beyond the pale for him. I love him so much!

Next week, I’ll get to the main course: punishing your wife with a good old-fashioned whippin’.

Read Next: Christian Domestic Discipline for Beginners, Part Three: How to Discipline