Matt Forney
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The First Rule of Relationship Club

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog on September 25, 2012, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

The first rule of Relationship Club is you do not talk about Relationship Club.

The second rule of Relationship Club is you do not talk about Relationship Club.

Think about it. I’ve already addressed the phenomenon of guys giving up, getting with ugly chicks and leading a boring, conformist life because that’s what they think they are supposed to do, then trying to lead you down that path too.

But I noticed a new phenomenon last year, while I was in an on-again off-again relationship. When your relationship friends see that you are in the Relationship Club, the walls come down and you hear some stuff that you never would have heard when you were single. And some of it crushes your soul. Yes, crushes your soul. Because that is the only way to describe some of the stuff that comes out of the mouths of these once proud and mighty men.

And what makes these statements so soul crushing? They are given to you as “good advice.”

relationship

It’s happened to me only twice, but both times it was from good friends who seemed confident and secure in their relationships and who are both now married. It made me rethink everything I ever knew about them. The first one said this:

Listen man, you and your girl seem to fight a lot, and let me guess, 75 percent of the time you probably don’t even know what you are fighting about. And you know what? Don’t worry about it. Just apologize. Even if you don’t know what you’re apologizing about. Apologize preemptively. Remember: always be apologizing. Because no matter who’s right, she’s right.

And here’s what the second guy said:

So your relationship is causing strain in your friendships? That’s normal. I don’t care how long you’ve known a guy or what you’ve experienced with him: when you have a solid long-term relationship, those things take a hit. Look at [Mutual Friend] and me. We used to be inseparable. But he doesn’t like my girl, so I cut him out of my life. Sure, he’ll be at the wedding, but not much else, and if you’re serious about your girl, you gotta start doing that to your friends.

And now I’m single, grinding the numbers game, reminding myself drunkenly on Twitter to call girls back, while these and some other friends have joined the Relationship Club. Since I’m not in it, they are not allowed to badmouth it. But I know the truth. I know that the second I get a girlfriend, these friends will continue to shock me.

But for now, I’ll just try to help them, because if this is your first night at Relationship Club, you have to fight.

Read Next: The Number One Rule of Male/Female Interaction