Matt Forney
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A Girl Explains How Not to Pick Up Girls

This is a guest post by a female friend of mine.

As a female who openly interacts with an appreciable number of alt-right publications, I get a number of Facebook messages from young men who appear to be eager to take their very first swings at game in a safe space.

I mean, I hope that’s what they’re doing. If the messages I get are actual attempts to get under my skirt, then sex will never occur again and there’s no future for the human race.

I’m well aware that I’m not a man, and therefore have not had the opportunity to field test any gaming techniques on a sample of the female population; I only read game sites out of scientific curiosity, as they are a fascinating laboratory for applied evolutionary psychology. However, I have been a test subject, and thus I can provide a record of my reactions to the sample of males who have approached me as such.

And the abstract of my research would begin: y’all need to diversify.

Because at least ninety percent of the messages I get use negging. And more negging. And pretty much just that, aside from some painfully unfunny banter. Banter is great—it’s what we used to call “conversation”—but you need to do it for more than two floppy sentences before you start firing random insults.

Which is why I hope these guys are just experimenting, because it’s fairly safe to assume that they know I know that negging exists. And here’s the thing: once a girl has even the sketchiest idea of what game is about, you can no longer depend on the rules to keep working the same way.

Negging, for example, is supposed to bring results because it reduces a woman’s status, or her perception of her status, so that you seem higher in status by comparison.

However, if she knows that this is the purpose of negging, and she knows you know that, then negging is essentially telling her: “I think you’re too good for me, and I’m trying to bring you down to my level.” That is about as sexy as socks with sandals. And cargo shorts. You can argue logically with that all you like, but you can’t argue with results, or lack thereof.

Some attempts at negging are considerably sadder than others. Here’s a fairly extreme example of a “Don’t”: after failing to impress me with some witless banter about nothing, one interlocutor resorted to blurting, “You’re so old and fat.”

I guess he figured he had a fifty-fifty chance with “fat,” since 90 percent of women can be annoyed with either the word “fat” or the word “flat-chested.” But when a guy guesses the wrong way, it’s the equivalent of a telemarketer mispronouncing your name: you don’t even have to deal with it.

As for “old,” this guy needs an intro to the finer points of negging: as I understand it, the technique is meant to push the girl to regain the fellow’s approval by cutely, ineffectually protesting the neg.

There’s no cute, ineffectual way to protest the fact that the Earth keeps going around the sun. And if there’s a woman out there who thinks she’s so special that the Earth really did stop going around the sun the day she was born, you probably don’t even want to sleep with her once.

Some of you might be thinking: “Well, sure, this chick SAYS these negs were ineffective. But little does she know that barb resulted in a twelve percent increase in the likelihood that someday she’ll pay airfare to Vancouver just to have coffee with this sterling wit and take all her clothes off!”

Perhaps, but increasing zero by twelve percent is still zero.

I’m not saying that this stuff is necessarily a total waste of time. I have been successfully gamed, but by guys who had the personal qualities to back up their evo-psych tools. If you can make a woman laugh, for instance, everything else you do becomes more effective… but to make people laugh, there’s no substitute for a wide body of knowledge. The building blocks of jokes are everything that’s in your head. If there’s nothing in there, you’re going to wind up scuffing your feet and falling back on tricks that have already failed.

It’s a bit of an arms race: the more game becomes popularized, the more the basic techniques will be recognizable to women, and the more elaborate new tactics you’ll have to read up on.

Wouldn’t it be more fun to work on “inner game?”

As the writers on this site keep repeating, pickup isn’t the be-all—or at least it isn’t the end-all—of impressing the ladies. You can insult me till you’re blue in the face: if you’re a boring loser with no life, then all PUA techniques are going to be able to do for you is to get you on the road from being rejected by boring, loser land whales to being allowed to buy drinks for said BLLWs.

Which is, I guess, in a sense, an accomplishment of… some, er well… you can proudly say that it’s better than nothing.

But is “better than nothing” all you want to aim for? Get off Facebook, for Christ’s sake. Read a book and hit the gym and you won’t need to practice insulting old women.

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