Matt Forney
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narcissist-misery

Girls and the Narcissist Misery Engine

Years ago, at one of my past jobs, I had a middle-aged co-worker who was… passionate about politics. Every time she got a minute of free time, she was either beating herself off to what Obama and the Democrats were doing or complaining about how “racist” and evil Republicans were, usually the latter. It was her go-to choice of topic whenever she was directing the flow of conversation: “Didja hear about what Governor Paterson did the other day?” All of her political commentary was tinged with bitterness and irritation; she was clearly upset by what she was reading, but she kept inflicting her crabbiness on everyone else anyway.

Unsurprisingly, she was childless and perpetually single.

This pretty much sums up all leftists and feminists: they’re addicted to indignation. They spend huge amounts of time reading websites that upset them, then spreading links to said sites around on Facebook and whatnot so their friends can feel just as miserable as them. They even have a term for it: “hate-reading.” Roosh V Forum member Scorpion’s description of this behavior is so on-point that I have no choice but to quote it here:

I love how these women don’t understand the Internet. When they see something they think is horrible, they want to share it far and wide and get as many eyeballs as possible on it. It would be like if their was a little dog with explosive diarrhea sitting by itself in a corner, and instead of leaving it alone, they pick it up and carry it across the entire house, spreading shit all over the floor, saying “OMFG everyone look at this dog that keeps shitting all over the place! Can you believe this? OMG!”

The female imperative that craves drama and emotional solidarity from peers overrides all logic. And so it is that feminists unwittingly find themselves foot soldiers in the RoK army, helping to spread our message far and wide. Thanks bitches.

I’ve tried to understand this mentality but always fell short. Three years ago, I tried an experiment whereby I started reading JezebelFeministingShakesville and other feminist sites in an attempt to better know my enemy. I lasted less than a week before giving up. I wouldn’t say that I was enraged by feminist sites, but I found them more sad than anything. Jezebel and the like keep their readers in a state of perpetual depressive rage, infecting everything they touch with their carping and negative tone.

I can’t even derive negative pleasure from attempting to “hate-read” feminist sites.

Granted, this impulse isn’t exclusive to the left. The right-wing equivalents to Jezebel would be the countless punditry blogs writing about useless political minutiae, or MRM sites like A Voice for Men which consist exclusively of “woman bites man” stories. But those sites are getting eclipsed by more positive, goal-oriented ones like Return of Kings. Virtually all feminist sites boil down to playing hot potato with an incontinent poodle and then complaining about how you’re getting sprayed with shit.

Why? This is how narcissists function.

I’ve gone over this in the past, but it’s worth repeating: most leftists are narcissists. Narcissists, like borderlines and psychopaths, are not human beings: they’re anti-people, with a great black hole where their soul is supposed to be. Their identities are carefully constructed fictions that require an enormous amount of maintenance to stay intact. Anything that punctures a narcissist’s identity causes narcissistic injury, which if not dealt with will cause the narcissist’s reality to come apart.

To the outsider, girls massively sharing articles and websites they hate—to the point where merely attempting to read them makes them vomit and/or black out—seems like insane behavior. But you have to see things from the narcissist’s point of view. Their overriding concern is maintaining their identity, a matter of life and death to them. Whenever a narcissist comes across someone or something that threatens her identity, one of the easiest ways she can cope is by seeking solidarity with her fellow narcissists, puncturing their false identities and restoring equilibrium.

In short, narcissists sow misery and unhappiness in order to build themselves up.

This is a big part of why narcissists are so toxic; befriending one means they will constantly be trying to tear you down. They themselves don’t even realize that they’re doing this; narcissists are tick-tock automatons, as unthinking as a rabbit hopping away from every big scary noise it hears. This inability to rein in their worst instincts often wrecks the narcissist’s life, as it did in Hugo Schwyzer’s case. For a milder example of narcissism in action, here’s a comment I found on the Bodycrimes blog from “Zosimus the Heathen“:

I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one whose morbid fascination with the Manosphere has become a source of great concern and exasperation to all those he knows in meatspace. Among the people I’ve pissed off with my incessant prattle on the subject has been a brother of mine who’s living in Seattle, and who I caught up with a few months ago, while holidaying in the States. While he was initially interested to hear my strange and terrible tales of the things I’d found while trawling the sewer that is the Manosphere (we often like to share the fucked up things we’ve found on the Internet), I rabbited on about the subject so much he finally said, “Dude, STFU about the fucking Manosphere! People in real life just don’t behave the way those idiots say they do!”

Even if you agreed with Zosimus, would you want to be friends with her? Imagine an anti-feminist counterpart to this chick: a marginally employed MGHOW who constantly read xoJane and was always talking about how women are “golddigging cunts.” Would you want to hang out with someone like that?

Hell no, you wouldn’t.

Zosimus and her ilk are defective, unlikable people, whose damaged psyches lead them to inflict their internal suffering on everyone else around them. The sad part is that Zosimus is somewhat aware that her actions are driving her loved ones away, but like the rabbits in the warren running scared from the big bad wolf, she… just… can’t… help… herself. Barring outside intervention, she’s going to end up like my old co-worker: old and alone, wondering why no one wants to be around her.

Girls have an inborn need for drama, but on its own, that impulse is relatively harmless. Pair it with the narcissism encouraged by r-selective breeding and leftism, however, and you get the current situation: pudgy college sophomores thinking indignation is a legitimate argument. Helicopter parented art fags on Tumblr talking about how something on the Internet made them want to throw up. Every anti-feminist writer getting boatloads of death threats whenever their articles go viral.

The narcissist misery engine is never satisfied.

The only way to deal with these kinds of people is to cut them out of your life. Even if you’re resistant to the charms of a narcissist, their constant attempts to tear you down will wear on you. Like borderlines and psychopaths, narcissists don’t deserve the respect that you would give a normal, complete human being. Let them stew in their emptiness of their own lives.

Nothing you can say or do to them will be worse than the torment they suffer just by being alive.

Read Next: Narcissist Bum Fights: Anita Sarkeesian vs. the Basement Dwellers