Matt Forney
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Hurt Your Wife to Show Her You Love Her

NOTE: Nearly a year ago, I ran a blog named Virginia’s Secret Garden for the purpose of making fun of “red pill women” and their beta orbiters in the manosphere. I wrote under the nom-de-plume of “Virginia Robinson,” a happy submissive Christian housewife living in the Midwest… who blogged about her sex life in nauseating detail. You can read more about the hoax here.

Because I’m no longer updating the site, I’ve decided to let the domain VirginiasSecretGarden.com expire. Here is one of the articles I wrote for the blog, originally published on January 3, 2014.

A lot of people think the Christian Domestic Discipline lifestyle is abusive. Going by what the mainstream media says, I’m actually a Stepford wife who lives in fear of her husband. Somebody save me!

But the reality is that husbands absolutely must assert dominance over their wives in order to have a happy marriage. When my husband spanks me for upsetting him in some way, he’s not just reaffirming his status as my master and the head of the household, he’s satisfying a primal urge in me, letting me know that he cares.

It’s been shown time and time again that neglected children will act out and deliberately break the rules in order to get their parents to pay attention to them. Indeed, every so often, there’s a news story about the children of overly permissive Boomer parents and how they feel unloved because their parents don’t chastise them for having premarital sex or getting into trouble. We women are the same way; when our husbands and boyfriends ignore us, we’ll do something to annoy them just to get their attention. At the extreme level, this can become unhealthy: many women who are “victims” of domestic violence, for example, end up that way because they verbally abuse and belittle their men to the point where they snap. Borderline women are notorious for this kind of attention-seeking behavior.

We ladies can reign in this behavior on our own somewhat, but we need the guiding hand of a man to suppress it completely. It’s the nature of Eve’s sin: we women are inclined to rebel against earthly authority, to the detriment of ourselves and our husbands. Because feminists have obscured this fundamental reality, neither men nor women can effectively deal with womens’ rebellious nature. This is the typical pattern that modern marriages follow:

  1. Wife acts up in an attempt to get her husband to bring her under control.
  2. Husband ignores wife, either because he doesn’t know he needs to discipline her or he’s afraid of the legal consequences of doing so.
  3. Wife becomes contemptuous of her husband for not putting her in her place and starts acting up even more.
  4. Husband continues to ignore wife, creating a downward spiral where sex drops off, arguments flare up, and both sides are increasingly miserable.
  5. Wife files for divorce because she’s not haaapppy.

When women and children misbehave, they’re not just looking for punishment, they’re looking for absolution. Assuming they’re not psychopaths, they know what they’re doing is wrong; they want an authority figure (husband or parent) to tell them they’ve been bad, punish them for it, and then forgive them afterwards. This cycle of misbehavior, punishment and forgiveness scratches an itch deep within the female psyche, letting us know that we’re being looked out for.

Now, I’m not saying that you should encourage your husband to give you a shiner. There’s a right way and a wrong way to be disciplined. But our inherently sinful and defiant nature means that our husbands have to discipline us to keep us happy. Matt Forney had a great article about this called “Saving Women from Themselves“: though he didn’t address marital discipline, the point still stands. Telling or showing someone that they’re on a self-destructive path is an act of mercy and love, even if you end up hurting them in the short-term.

I hate getting spanked. When my husband calls me into our bedroom and tells me to pull my skirt down, I feel dread. I hate having a sore butt and I hate being driven into a crying fit. My husband has told me over and over again that he hates spanking me too, because seeing me crying and in pain breaks his heart. But despite the suffering and tears, I’m grateful that my husband corrects my misbehavior. When he gets finished paddling me and holds me afterwards, I feel a deep satisfaction in knowing that he loves me enough to protect me from myself.

Read Next: How to Beat Your Girlfriend or Wife and Get Away with It