Matt Forney
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How My Husband Spanks Me


NOTE: Nearly a year ago, I ran a blog named Virginia’s Secret Garden for the purpose of making fun of “red pill women” and their beta orbiters in the manosphere. I wrote under the nom-de-plume of “Virginia Robinson,” a happy submissive Christian housewife living in the Midwest… who blogged about her sex life in nauseating detail. You can read more about the hoax here.

Because I’m no longer updating the site, I’ve decided to let the domain expire. Here is one of the articles I wrote for the blog, originally published on January 10, 2014.

A lot of people have been asking me what my husband uses to discipline me. The answer is that it usually depends on the infraction in question. If I’ve done something that’s not too disobedient, he’ll usually just use his bare hands, but if I’ve committed a more serious mistake, he’ll bring out the heavy artillery. Here are the types of implements we use.


1. Bare Hands

This is the easiest, most classic way to spank. The number one advantage of getting a bare-handed, bare-bottom spanking is that your husband can do it anywhere, any time. No external implements needed. I also personally prefer my husband’s warm touch on my skin over a cold wooden spoon or what have you. The disadvantage is that bare-handed spankings are not nearly as painful as ones that require an implement, so they don’t work if you’ve been seriously acting up. Also, an extended bare-handed spanking can wear out your husband’s hand.


2. Wooden Spoon

This is the next step up. A wooden spoon from the kitchen delivers a small, sharp burst of pain and a nice satisfying crack! Spanking with a spoon causes the pain to stay localized on the surface of the butt, and it’s also good for attacking the upper thighs. However, wooden spoons are flimsy and have a tendency to snap when used for repeated whippings. After the first few ones broke on us (what can I say? I’m a good girl with a bad streak), I went and bought a whole box full of spoons to save us time and money in replacing them. Additionally, they only cover a small area of the buttocks, so my husband often ends up peppering my butt with dozens of little strikes, haha.


3. Wooden Hairbrush

Ouch! My husband saves the hairbrush for extreme situations, because he knows how much I hate it. Hairbrushes absolutely hurt when you use them for spanking; they combine the sting of the wooden spoon with the size of an outstretched palm. They’re also more durable than spoons and are inconspicuous; whenever my husband and I go on a trip, we can take a hairbrush through airport screening without raising eyebrows. The big problem with hairbrushes is that they hurt and can also bruise if your husband is careless. It usually only takes a handful of swats from the brush before I’m crying and begging my husband to stop, which is why he only brings it out when I’ve made a serious error.


4. Wooden Paddle

My husband has only had to use this on me twice during the course of our marriage, and thank God. The paddle is the worst, most painful way to spank someone without causing permanent injury. It covers the entire surface of the butt, inflicts a lot of hurt, and gets the message that you’ve been a very bad girl across easily. The main problem with paddles is that they’re loud and inconspicuous. Don’t try and take them on vacations… though realistically, you shouldn’t need to anyway. For my husband and I, the paddle is a punishment of last resort; on the two occasions he’s used it, I was extra obedient for weeks afterwards.

Whichever implements you use for enforcing discipline are entirely up to you. While I hope this article will provide some good guidelines, ultimately you’ll have to work things out based on your needs and comfort level. Some wives can be kept in line with just bare-handed spankings; rebellious females will need to be dominated more strongly. Good luck!

Read Next: Hurt Your Wife to Show Her You Love Her

  • Jesse James

    Damn Forney! As ugly as you are, that got me aroused! LOL

  • GerryAllwin

    Using something of HERS is the most effective: like her hairbrush! When she brushes her hair every morning, she is reminded of its more important use: paddling her rump. Using an implement rather than your hand accomplishes at least two things: 1) saves your hand – unless you run a jackhammer for a living, your hand is not very tough; 2) discourages going light and letting an educational session deteriorate into a caressing session. Lovemaking should follow the paddling to reassure her that you really do love her.
    Be careful to avoid anger. It is your DUTY, not a pleasure or venting of your annoyance, to instruct your wife, fianceé or girlfriend. You don’t instruct her because you’re bigger and stronger than she; you instruct her because you’re the man.
    Never strike her anywhere but on the plump part of her backside. I’m convinced that God provided women with rumps larger than men’s for that specific purpose. They don’t need them for cushions to sit on; we don’t. Besides, she should be on her feet serving you, not lolling around on her ass. If she’s too sick to work, or has just popped out a(nother) brat for you, she should be lying down, not sitting around.
    [Sorry for the ALL CAPS; no italics, underline or bold on my phone.]