Matt Forney
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Indiana Campaign Dispatch, Part 2: Ted and Carly, Sittin’ in a Tree…


My next stop on the Hoosier State campaign trail was South Bend, where Ted Cruz and his fellow pervert Carly Fiorina were holding a rally at the Century Center. If I had any doubt about the Cruz campaign being in panic mode, the rally would have crushed it.


I arrived about five minutes before the rally started. There were only about 500 people there, and even more embarrassingly, Lyin’ Ted and Creepy Carly could only fill the room up halfway.


Cruz and Fiorina was introduced by an Indiana State Representative who had us watch a propaganda film about Cruz’s victories in the presidential election thus far. Fiorina came on afterwards and did her damndest to induce mass vomiting in the audience with her haughty voice and horny mannerisms. She’s also starting to imitate Cruz’s special ed teacher-esque speaking style, making her even more unbearable.


Cruz entered stage left after she was done and gave a stump speech that shows just how much he’s stolen from Trump (from policy positions to speaking style) and how inept he is at it.



Outside the rally, I ran into a gang of pro-Sanders protesters. Mysteriously, they were more polite and fun to talk to then the Cruz cultists.


The Sanders people even had their own custom ride: the Berniemobile.

I wrap up the day’s events in this video:

My written account of what happened will be up at Right On soon.

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Read Next: Indiana Campaign Dispatch, Part 1: Hoosier Daddy? Trump’s Your Daddy

  • Joseph Brunner

    LOL – “video of his victories so far”. love it. When i was like 18 I was walking through Sunset and “Face Off” had just come out. we were talking about the film on the street and some Scientologists asked me and my sister and her friends if we wanted to meet John Travolta? They were like hell yeah! so we went and did personality tests, got pressured to buy some books, etc – well Travolta was “unavailable” LOL but I’ll never forget the video they show you first! It was “CLEAR SOUND” LOL Scientology’s own little THX or Dolby Digital ahahaha – it showed L. RON HUBBARD. I think it was narrated by the same guy who did the Biff Tannen intro video in front of the Biff Casino in BTTF 2 :) How “L Ron started as a cowboy, who at age 12 won a bronco competition, and by age 21 he was a fleet commander in the Pacific chasing down japanese subs and ships near midway island” LOL just topped ya off young man good work!

  • Rick Little

    were you in Riverside California at the mission ?

  • SensualHarassment

    Wow… that’s pretty embarrassing. Granted… it might be the most unflattering picture one could have taken… but the final numbers on attendance are telling.

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