Matt Forney
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When Irish Eyes Are Cucking

NOTE: This article was originally published at Medium on June 3, 2017. I’m re-posting it here because I recently deleted my Medium account.

The problem with unironically supporting Irish nationalism is that the Irish themselves make it impossible. Most Irish kitsch originates not from the Emerald Isle itself, but from the descendants of Fenian immigrants to the U.S. and Australia, whose image of Ireland of a rural, Catholic wonderland occasionally rocked by an IRA bomb blast has yet to be shaken loose by reality.

I wonder how they’ll take the news that a gay Indian is now Ireland’s taoiseach (prime minister)?

Yep, it was a hard-fought struggle, but the Irish can now take pride in the fact that they’re the most cucked nation in Europe, at least until someone elects a gay Indian Muslim (or a gay Indian cripple, or a gay Indian tranny, or whatever). Even Sweden, the go-to example of a European nation that enjoys paddling itself for the crime of existing, hasn’t even dared to elect a woman as prime minister, let alone a non-white homosexual like Leo Varadkar. Clearly, the globalists have slipped something strong in the Irish water supply (the same water that they riot over when the government dares to ask them to pay their bills).

The reality is that the American “Oirish” view of Ireland is about as accurate as the idea of Texans being tough cowboys. Ever since the Irish won their independence from the U.K., they’ve spent the past hundred years playing catch-up with the globalist elite. Let’s not mince words: the Irish should be proud of how they broke free from the British Empire. After centuries of oppression by what was the most powerful nation in the world at the time—while being pilloried as stupid, genetically inferior Papists who didn’t bathe and had too many kids—the Irish kicked the “superior” English in the teeth and ran them off their island… or at least most of it. Even in the portion of the Emerald Isle that is still part of the U.K., the IRA wreaked enough havoc to force the Unionists to give nationalists permanent power in Northern Ireland’s devolved government.

Unfortunately, the Irish are dead-set on living down to every negative stereotype the British spread about them. Ireland is easily the most corrupt nation in western Europe, a magical land where politicians steadfastly refuse to stop gorging themselves at the public trough even after they’re photographed with their heads in the slop. When he was being investigated for corruption a few years ago, former taoiseach Bertie Ahern was so certain he’d never see the inside of a prison cell that he publicly admitted to having taken a “few” bribes. Irish politicians caught with their hands in the cookie jar never, ever resign unless they are legally forced to. In this context, vacuous non-entities like outgoing taoiseach Enda Kenny look like Trumpian super-heroes in comparison.

To give you an idea of how little the Irish voter cares about any of this, the country has been ruled by the same party, Fianna Fáil (actually pronounced “fe-enna fall,” so you can skip the “fail” jokes), for all but 25 years since 1932. Fianna Fáil was wiped out in the 2011 election after they tanked the economy so badly that they were forced to beg the European Union and IMF for bailouts, turning Ireland into a colony of both institutions, a sore spot for a country that fought a long guerrilla war for its independence. Indeed, the E.U. seized so much power from the Irish government in the wake of the bailout that they banned Fianna Fáil from calling the 2011 election until they passed a Brussels-dictated austerity budget. Fortunately for Fianna Fáil, the Irish public has the attention span of a kindergartener on crack, so they were able to surge to become the second-most popular party in last year’s vote, running on a platform of absolutely nothing.

Ireland’s entry into the European Union and the eurozone was based on a housing bubble that imploded close to a decade ago, sinking the economy and sending hordes of young Irish abroad to make a living. And yet despite the country having sunk to the level of a third-world hellhole (as an Irish friend of mine told it to me four years ago), the government still insists on importing countless non-white immigrants. Former Minister for Justice Alan Shatter opened the floodgates to the third world, bringing in 56,000 immigrants (a big number considering Ireland’s relatively small population) from 2011 to 2013. Shatter’s jeremiads against “racism” could have easily come from Barack Obama or Justin Trudeau, albeit one less standard deviation on the bell curve.

The problem with the Irish is that they’re cargo cultists. They see the comparatively wealthier nations of the U.S., Canada, and Britain and assume that said wealth is the result of them embracing mass non-white immigration and left-wing social policies. How else to explain that Ireland is the only country in the world to legalize gay marriage through a referendum? Sinn Féin, which still tries to trade off its former status as the Provisional IRA’s political wing, campaigned for the Remain side in last year’s Brexit vote, as did Enda Kenny. Similarly, the Irish saw Iceland, Belgium, and Luxembourg electing gay prime ministers and thought, “Hmmm, how do we top that? I’ve got it! We elect a gay Indian prime minister!”

I suppose it’s somewhat heartening that the Irish public is less enthusiastic about Leo Varadkar than the chattering classes are. According to the results, rival Simon Coveney won a majority among rank-and-file Fine Gael (the current governing party) members, with Varadkar’s victory attributable to his parliamentary colleagues backing him: their support is massively overweighed in the actual vote, to the tune of 65 percent. Will the Irish actually do anything about a South Asian sodomite being undemocratically elected their leader? Nope.

Michael Collins is spinning in his grave.

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