Matt Forney
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On Male Friendships: Part Three

This is a guest post by Adiaforon.

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve had some family and job issues to take care of. Not much time to devote to writing like I’ve wanted. As those issues are now at bay, time to climb back in the saddle.

In recent years, the thing that has depressed me the most about trying to make more male friends isn’t the fact that many men, especially if they’re older and have older-man obligations like job and family, don’t have the time and the interest, it’s the ones that do have the time and the interest are of such poor quality. And, I’m not talking about gamers who don’t shower and sports nuts. No, I’m talking about something much worse. If you think that most chicks are fucked up in the head, read on.

Take this story from a friend of mine, whom I’ll call Chuck, and a guy he knew in the U.S. Army, whom I’ll call Sammy.

Chuck knew Sammy from when they were in Advanced Individual Training together. AIT is where you go after basic training to learn your job. (“Tech school” for you Air Force and Navy types.) Both were in communication. Both knew that a lot of what goes on in the Army is bullshit and designed to keep you toeing the line and not think for yourself. With the sharper knives in the drawer, this usually falls flat on its flat-footed face. Chuck and Sammy were among the sharper knives. They both went into the Army to better themselves, as their options in the “real world” were shittily limited. They did what they had to do.

After AIT, Chuck and Sammy went their separate ways. Chuck ended up in the southern U.S., and Sammy went over to Italy. Chuck got deployed to Afghanistan not long after he arrived at his duty station, and Sammy was kind of living it up in Italy. (Though, like a lot of folks in his situation, so Chuck told me later, Sammy seemed closed-minded and hated being in Europe, despite being near Venice and the coast.) Eventually, Chuck got the hell out of where he was at and managed to get posted over to Italy. Great for him. He got to get over to Europe. He decided to look Sammy up, since they had kept in touch via email.

Chuck and Sammy met again and were glad to see each other, but Chuck noticed that Sammy wasn’t in a good position. Sammy said that he got married before he shipped off to basic training and his “cunt of a wife” had been cheating on him and he she wanted a divorce. (Typical military wife drama.) He refused, citing that he was “going to make the cunt suffer” and keep her dangling. Chuck, good proto-Red Piller he was, told Sammy to just kick the wife to the curb and divorce her. Oh, no… Sammy said. He was gonna get her real good.

First warning sign.

Chuck and Sammy were in the same unit, and that unit went over to Afghanistan. First time for Sammy, second time for Chuck. Sammy tried to get out of it, but failed. He tried to use his psychological evaluation, which she some light on some mental problems he was having, as justification, but their command ignored it. So, kicking and screaming, Sammy got sent over to the desert a couple of months later than Chuck.

Second warning sign.

Chuck and Sammy were both gone for nearly 12 months. After deployment, they both returned to Italy. Both had had enough of Army life and were planning on getting out, once their final year was up. They managed to stay in Italy. Chuck traveled all he could. Sammy stayed put and played video games, though Chuck did manage to talk him into a weekend trip to Milan and Genoa. Fun times. But Sammy was drinking a bit much. In fact, Sammy usually drank a bit much.

Third warning sign.

Toward the end of their time in Italy, things were winding down at their base. It was to close down not long after the first of the new year, and most people were either getting out altogether or transferring to another post.

One night, Chuck and his other buddies invited Sammy to go with them. They were going downtown to the one Irish pub to have a few beers. Sammy, always the life of the party, really was making everyone laugh with his antics, which got more outrageous the more he drank. After the pub, they all decided to head back on post to the on-post watering hole for a few more and for some karaoke. By this time, Sammy had gotten into a funk and then got pissed off when someone made fun of him, lightheartedly, about his antics and his closed-mindedness. Sammy stormed off. They didn’t see him again for the rest of the night.

Fourth warning sign.

And, gentleman, now for the clincher…

Very close to when the both of them were to leave Italy for good, Sammy came over to Chuck’s room one night, already having gone through half a bottle of Sammy’s favorite poison, Jose Cuervo. Sammy was in rare form, but stumbling around. Chuck just had to record this, so he whipped out his digital camera and started recording. Sammy stumbled into the bathroom and fell on the floor, laughing. Chuck was recording all of this. Then, at one point, Sammy whipped out his dick and started shaking it. They both thought it was in good fun. Chuck later showed the vid to another buddy of his the following night.

That was the big mistake.

Somehow, Sammy caught wind of what happened and then Chuck had to meet with the one non-commissioned officer (NCO) for some questioning. Seems that Sammy, royally pissed off, marched over to the military police (MP) station and reported that he was sexually assaulted. Uh-oh. So Chuck had to show the video, make his (very strong) case that nothing had happened apart from him recording the video, and agree to delete it. Fortunately for Chuck, nothing came about from this case, because Sammy’s accusation didn’t hold any water. Still, it was enough to keep Chuck walking on eggshells for three weeks until he finally signed out of his unit permanently. The authorities couldn’t touch him them. And there was nothing he was going to do to fuck up his leave time.

Needless to say, Chuck severed all contact with Sammy. Too bad, because Sammy made things easier for Chuck during his time in the Army. If only more guys had been like that. But Sammy was clearly immature about some things, and probably had borderline personality disorder. He was, for all intents and purposes, fucked in the head.

So as I said in the beginning, it’s depressing when you look for quality men and you don’t find any. Is this due to single motherhood and child abuse? Maybe. Is it due to the feminization of our culture? Maybe. You can’t say.

But nothing is more frightening to learn that you can’t trust your fellow man. No wonder that some choose to go MGTOW because of this.

Adiaforon blogs here.

Read Next: On Male Friendships: Part Two