Matt Forney
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The Man Who Picks Up Girls on the Subway

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog on November 15, 2010, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

While enjoying my Monday afternoon, catching up on some blogs, I noticed that Dagonet had a post up about a guy in NYC that approaches women on the subway that’s slowly going viral.

So I decided to check out the guy’s blog. And to be honest, his attempts resemble the romantic comedy stylings of Hugh Grant. While I couldn’t find the Family Guy clip that describes the “Hugh Grant Method” that’s irresistible on screen but absolutely impossible in real life, I did find a picture.

subway

Yeah, that’s pretty much what his writings and recordings make him out to be. But at least he’s doing one thing that barely anyone out there even tries: he is hitting on girls in the subway. And for that, I have to give him props, because there’s nothing worse than sifting through the piles of “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve” that is Craigslist’s Missed Connections section.

I commute through NYC daily, most of the time on the same train lines that he posts about, and while I’ve managed to meet a few girls on the subway, I rarely witness other people trying to do the same. And by rarely, I really mean it: off the top of my head I can only recall witnessing it twice.

The first was when a young dude chatted up a chubby high school girl right next to me. Sure, she wasn’t the prettiest thing, but the dude went for it and handled it like a pro. The second: a pair of subway breakdancers, after doing their flips and collecting some money, decided to hit on this college student at the end of the car. They turned on the charm but eventually failed, probably because it wasn’t a good look asking people in the train for money seconds earlier.

In fact, maybe that’s why I rarely see subway approaches in person: the stigma associated with subway bums. About 99 percent of the time, the only people that talk on the train are the people going car to car collecting money, and as any NYC commuter knowsm these guys often show up on the same trains at the same time. Heck, one time I saw a homeless woman flip out on an old lady because the old lady, instead of giving her money, gave her a card and directions to a nearby Christian homeless shelter.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Bums, masturbators, and fights are stories that everyone hears about. I’m sure every New Yorker has witnessed this kind of awkwardness.

Maybe the fear of being associated with that kind of behavior is what drives our idealistic young Hugh Grant wannabe into Hugh Grant mode? Maybe. But whatever it is, Subway Guy, I’ve got two pieces of advice for you:

  1. Keep at it.
  2. Step it up, stop being shy, and be a little more manly. You know how awesome you are. Hell, you’re so awesome that you have people following your blog because you do the shit they wish they could do. So buck up, friend: you’re not a bum or a masturbator, and no female will ever associate you with that.

And to whoever says that approaching people on the train is inappropriate, piss off. It’s how my grandparents met many years ago and it led to a long and loving marriage. So an insult to subway macking is an insult to my grandparents.

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