Matt Forney
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How to Meet Girls Online

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog on December 30, 2010, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

A big part of my recent hot streak was that I was meeting beautiful, interesting women from online dating sites. Sure, I’ve been on these sites for a while with decent success, but my numbers recently exploded. For example, in one week in December, I had four different dates in four nights. Another day I slept with two different girls, and all of them were from the Internet. How did I do it? Let me break it down (if you just want a super fast summary, just scroll all the way to the bottom).

1. The pictures.

Just like everyone suggests, I have a wide variety of pictures that highlight the different parts of my personality: I have one with some friends, one that I took at the New York Comic Con, one that I took at a nude beach, my Halloween outfit, etc. Every picture is well lit, there are no bad pictures, no shitty looking self shots, etc. So make an effort, gentlemen: no shitty pictures with shitty lighting! 

My main profile pic, however, was professionally done by a photographer friend of mine. She needed to try out this new camera she had just gotten and asked me if I could help. She pretty much made me look like a spy (and the pic was in black and white), so if you have a friend that dabbles in photography, ask them to hook you up (very easy in NYC, every other person is a “artist” of some kind).

2. The profile text.

I actually paraphrase a very popular commercial (don’t wanna give away which one) and use it as part of my dating profile. It’s incredibly unique and always gives girls something cool to compliment you on. So, gentlemen, start ripping off popular commercials or movie quotes and adapt them to dating sites. Put that in the top of your About Me section, then right after say something like, “If you think this sort of tomfoolery doesn’t belong on a serious site like Match.com, then we wouldn’t be much of a match anyway.” This screens out boring or overly serious people. Fill out all the other parts of your profile (interests, etc.) normally.

Now, with those two things good to go, you’ll actually start getting girls to contact you (not too many). To get the most awesome girls, you’ll have to do some digging.

3. The search.

Always keep the search as close to your ZIP code as possible. Always sort by “last logged in” or any other option where you can ignore the girls that haven’t been on the site for a bit.

PROTIP: if you are tall, search for other tall girls, because they will be way more likely to respond since it is harder for them to find a taller man.

PROTIP 2: if you are foreign-born, from an immigrant background or the like, search for girls from the same culture or that speak the same language, because they will be way more likely to respond.

I happen to be both tall (six foot two) and eastern European, which work to my advantage because I’ve met lots of gorgeous tall and Russian-speaking girls using my height and background.

4. Narrow your search down.

This is critical: some sites cap the amount of search results that you can get. OkCupid, for example, caps your search results at a hundred pages. Narrow your search till you get below that cap and you can see a bunch of girls you might have missed otherwise.

5. Contacting the girl (by far the most crucial part).

If you read her profile and find something awesome that you just have to talk about, by all means do it. Never, ever, ever, ever send her a generic, one-sized-fits-all email. It needs to seem original.

Now, I say “seem” because I use a lot of copypaste emails myself. But why the unoriginality? Because there are several things that I notice from girls’ profiles over and over and over again. For example, many girls who live in NYC aren’t originally from there, and many girls have varied musical tastes but hate country music. I have copypaste emails for both of these situations. So if you see something pop up over and over again in girls’ profiles, by all means, reuse that awesome creative email you sent another girl the first time you saw it.

If you happen to stumble upon the profile of a seemingly perfect girl—Jessica Alba’s looks with Mother Teresa’s selflessness—gather yourself and message her like you would anyone else. Writing a emo love letter to someone on a dating site is not a good look!

6. The date itself.

Now, this is the fun part: how to show a girl an awesome experience and get to know one another better without spending lots of money. So dinner is absolutely out of the question. The first date must be something fun, unique and a bit creative. Just for that and that alone, I have my go-to first date: the Toys ‘R’ Us in Times Square.

When I first came to America, the aisles of G.I. Joe and Ninja Turtles action figures imprinted itself on my young mind, and I always set this date up as a surprise visit to an awesome place from my childhood. If the girl hates it, she is not the type of person I’d like to be with anyway, no harm no foul. If the girl is unreactive, that means she’s boring (because come on, there’s something for everyone in a giant toy store), so no harm no foul there. But more often than not, she will love your amazingly creative first date, and your wallet will love you for not getting raped.

Afterwards, go grab some drinks and move the girl closer and closer to your place. Remember, the first date is all about getting to know one another. If you feel nervous, guess what? She probably is too. Just relax and enjoy the experience.

And that’s it! If you want me to go into further detail about something, let me know and I’ll cover it right away.

TL;DR Version

  • Have various well-lit pictures (at least four).
  • Try to have one (and only one) professional looking picture.
  • Have a funny profile (rip off popular movies and commercials).
  • Search for girls that actually use the site.
  • If you’re tall, search for tall girls. If you’re foreign, search for foreign girls.
  • Narrow your search results down if you’re capping out (100 pages on OkCupid).
  • When contacting the girl, first see if you can come up with something off the top of your head. If not, go for the situational copypastes. They must be your own.
  • Take a girl some place unique, reflective of your personality and preferably cheap.
  • And remember, Mondays through Wednesdays are perfect date nights: no one has shit going on and after your creative date, you can grab a drink special somewhere.

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