Matt Forney
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A Middle-Class Douchebag is a Thing to Be

A few days ago, I Tweeted a link to an article at Roosh’s new jointReturn of Kings. (Speaking of which, I’m always auto-posting links to interesting articles to Twitter, displayed on the front page of my blog: compelling reason to visit every hour of every day.) One of my followers responded with this:

What is it about PUA that makes it a magnet for douchebags?

Ah, “douchebag,” the favorite insult of the weak and sunken-chested. If you spend more than thirty minutes perusing JezebelSlashdot and other feminist/nerd hangouts, you’ll be confronted with not only a million uses of “douchebag,” but a million different permutations of the word: “douche-nugget,” “douche-canoe,” and the like. What is it about this slur that they love so much?

I’ve figured it out: “douchebag” is shorthand for “man who is unapologetic about his masculinity.”

The thin red line connecting the “douchebag guys,” whether it’s portly she-beasts shoveling Candy Corn Oreos in their gaping maws to slack-wristed dorkboys pitifully jacking off in their long underwear, is that they are all failures. The men they snottily label “douchey” are all successful in some fashion—money, power, women—that they aren’t and likely never will be. Don’t believe me? Let’s look at one of the major anti-douchebag sites, Hot Chicks with Douchebags:

douchebag douchebag douchebag

Actually excerpting the “commentary” on that site is pointless, because it’s all the same shit: the authors “making fun of” (read: complaining about) men with hot girls. Whatever their imperfections, you’d be hard-pressed to deny that the “douchebags” aren’t masculine men, or at least more masculine than the average male. Not only that, guidos and muscleheads know that they’re more manly than the average and aren’t afraid to say it: and as Hot Chicks with Douchebags shows, they get the results.

You don’t realize how hurtful this reality is to manboobs and feminists.

Male feminists and other nerds have spent their lives gorging on the intellectual junk food that is Naomi Watts and Judd Apatow movies. Like most of us, they were told from an early age that the way to get a girlfriend is to be kind, sensitive and caring. To always reshpect her opinions. To let her lead the way and to be her equal. The fattie feminists were told the same thing in reverse; that being opinionated, boorish and “themselves” would net them a hot, smart guy.

When they see men who shit all over those principles not only continue to get laid, but lay more attractive girls then they do, the losers’ heads explode.

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing more than once and expecting different results, then the manboobs and feminists are some of the craziest bastards alive today. All of us are here in the manosphere because we realized the way we were living wasn’t working, saw alternate solutions that did work, and set about changing our lives. The manboobs and feminists see the alternate solutions—working out and not being such a pussy (or in the girls’ case, not being such a bitch)—and double down on their failed lifestyles.

It’s the sunken cost fallacy applied to life itself.

It’s easy for the loser brigade to dismiss anonymous bloggers with a, “Well, I’ll bet you’re just lying anyway.” Far harder to do that when there’s photographic evidence of the ‘bag in question groping a girl’s luscious backside. In the face of proof, the rationalization hamster gets rolling again. When someone calls a guy a douchebag, this is what they’re really saying:

“You’re successful professionally, financially and/or sexually despite breaking all of the rules that I was taught. Rather than acknowledge that my ideology is a hollow lie, I’m going to try and spin your triumphs as a bad thing. I’d rather die fat, chained to a desk getting twice-monthly sex from a fattie hochunk than admit that I was wrong.”

Another famous “douchebag” is Tucker Max (or at least he was one before his Room 101-enforced mental breakdown). The agita about Max from snarker-nerd sites like Gawker had nothing to do with his “immorality”; these are liberals who believe in free sex and being nonjudgmental. It’s a lie: liberals are only for sexual liberation so long as it’s on the woman’s terms. A “douchebag” is any man who dares to engage the world on his terms. Not womens’, not society’s, but his.

“Waaaaah-hah-hah, it’s not FAIR! I’m a good guy, I oppose the patriarchy, I have Dub Narcotic Sound System’s complete discography on first-edition vinyl! Why don’t the girls like ME?!”

So the next time someone calls you a douchebag, smirk and head on your merry way: there’s no greater compliment to be had from the losers of our world.

Read Next: How to Make Feminists Cry