Matt Forney
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New Article at Return of Kings: “Six Reasons Why Portland Sucks for Single Men”


I make a fair and balanced assessment of the Rose City’s womenfolk over at Return of Kings:

Portland is supposedly one of the fittest cities in America, but you wouldn’t know it by actually visiting here. The average PDX girl either has a body shaped like a beach ball or looks like an Auschwitz survivor; nothing in between. Add in their pasty flour dough skin and you can go days without seeing anything you’d want to bang. And like Toronto girls, Stumptown’s womenfolk have a disturbing obsession with stuffing their faces, as evidenced by quirky local eateries like Voodoo Doughnut and the absurd number of late-night food trucks littering downtown.

Click here to read the rest.