Matt Forney
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I Am the Patriarchy (and So Can You!)

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog on September 18, 2013, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

I had a heck of a post planned in my head, I really did. It was an epic rant about all of the disadvantages men face in today’s modern society. It had the perfect blend of spontaneity, anger and research. It would have easily gone to the top of /r/TheRedPill and /r/MensRights for a while and bumped up my status as a blogger. Hell, it could have even caused a Jezebel-powered viral shitstorm like LaidNYC’s blog recently did. But I didn’t hit the publish button. Maybe someday I will, but not now.

I don’t know what snapped in me—probably my sister telling me that there was no way women have an advantage over men—which ironically was the first inspiration for the post. But I thought about it for a second: she could not possibly fathom how men have it harder than women. She gave me no leeway: everything I said about female advantage, she managed to flip on me. And then I realized I was thinking a similar thing: it is impossible for anyone to think that men are the “privileged class” from everything I know. I know I had advantages, but in my head I completely minimized them and turn them into non-factors in my life.

I was minimizing my own gender’s vast advantages into nothing, while pointing out my gender’s disadvantages and the advantages that the opposite gender has, without acknowledging their disadvantages. Sound familiar? Yep, I was starting to sound like one of the radical “I hate all men” feminists, just with the genders flipped.

Whoa, I needed to take a step back.

I’ve become a complainer. However, my male complaints had a place to be heard. That’s partially what the manosphere is here for: a place for men to vent. Women have had their venting sources throughout the years. Coincidentally, the more women vented, the less success seemed to come their way. Men hardly ever vented, but they still seemed to run the world.

As liberating as the venting, complaining, and talk of unfairness was, it was still a giant roadblock. It consumed my mind. But then I remembered another comment I made:

If I, as a white male, had at least ten percent of the “power and privilege” that people said I do, life would be easy.

But what if I already did? What if all of this incredible white male privilege that the feminists complain about was mine for the taking, but I didn’t even know it?

That’s when it snapped. That’s when everything became clear. 

Remember that clear line of thinking we all had at some point? Every manosphere reader has had a variation of this moment. Remember when girls used to friendzone us and complain about the douchebags they were dating, and for a while we thought, “Hey, If I am not a douchebag that these girls complain about, then by being nice and attentive, I will meet lots of great girls,” and then even with these great, non-douchey qualities, we were still the friendzoned shoulder to cry on while a new set of girls complained about douchebags? Remember? Of course you do.

And you remember the epiphany you had when your brain suddenly cleared up and you thought, “Wait a minute, these girls complain over and over and over again about douchebags, but they keep dating them! It seems like literally no girl is in a positive relationship… so instead of not being the douchebag, I should… become the douchebag.” Bam. Clear as day. We all had that moment.

I had the same kind of epiphany. My male privilege was as clear as day. But instead of denying my privilege, instead of immediately thinking how bad Western men had it or how much better Western women had it… I sat back and embraced the fuck out of my white male privilege. I should have listened earlier. The feminists—those so-called evil, evil feminists—were telling me all along how to make my life easier. It’s as if life is a video game and the feminists were walking around handing out free strategy guides, while complaining about the fact that strategy guides exist. 

I am the patriarchy. I am unstoppable. I will use every opportunity presented to me, even if this opportunity is only because of my gender, or race, or anything else, because that’s what breeds success.

It snapped again. Just about every successful person I knew took advantage of something with regards to their race, gender, sexuality, etc. Examples began to fill my head. I’ll give you one.

I know this black couple who both graduated from NYU law school. They are both in a “Black NYU Lawyers Association,” or some other type of organization for black lawyers that helps black lawyers network, get work, and generally advance their lawyering. On the surface, it sounds incredibly unfair for someone to get ahead just because of their race. You can argue that black people deserve all the legs up in society that are offered to them because of their poor historic treatment. Others can argue that this couple’s historical woes are completely offset by their parents being successful enough to help put them through law school. You can argue whatever the fuck they want, but this black NYU Lawyer couple ain’t arguing: they’re lawyering, and they don’t give a fuck.

Men, women, black, white, Asian, Latino, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gay, straight… no matter what the background of a successful person is, they took advantage of whatever they could and didn’t complain about what they couldn’t control.

It was time to be that person. It was time to embrace my white male privilege. It was time to realize that I was physically stronger than most women. Sure, Ronda Rousey could beat my ass with a thought, but most women are not Ronda Rousey. It was time to truly embrace that I age like wine, that I can walk late at night and feel safe. I can dress however the fuck I want and not worry about it sending the wrong message. I can keep just about anything in my pockets and never get stop and frisked; and in all my years of living in NYC, I never have. I can be physically repulsive and still be considered attractive as fuck.

I mean, look at Jay-Z. That man has the biggest, grossest lips ever, and his body looks like he’s been drinking nothing but beer for the past decade. He is one ugly motherfucker. Yet his fame, money, skills and status keep him on top of the rap game and landed him Beyoncé, arguably the most in-demand woman in the world. On the flip side, Oprah is a self made billionaire, a business genius with a Midas touch, yet she remains single. Isn’t that fucked up? Fuck yeah it is.

The Miss America pageant was on TV recently. Miss America is fucked up. You know why? Because these women are judged purely on looks. Talent is an afterthought. Intelligence is a last second tiebreaker. What if there was some brilliant girl who was an incredible thinker, with a talent that could save lives, what if this girl was one of the pure angels that are so rare in this world, whose life just makes the entire world better, a real gift to humanity? Wouldn’t you want a girl like that to represent your country? Of course you would. Too bad this bitch don’t look cute in a bikini and an evening dress, so we just end up seeing another tap dancing chick that can’t find “the Iraqs” on a map. Fucked up, right?

I am oozing with privilege, I’m drowning in it. I will no longer deny it. Yes, there are some bad things in life, I will be wary and careful of them of course, but as of today, I will embrace the patriarchy.

I am the patriarchy.

And so can you.

Read Next: The Inevitability of Patriarchy by Steven Goldberg