Matt Forney
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What Single and Taken Men (and Women) Can Learn from Each Other

This is a guest post by Kid Strangelove. Kid originally published this article at his own blog on April 26, 2011, but he deleted the site a while ago so he could focus on other projects. He asked me if I’d be willing to re-post some of his articles on my blog and I said yes.

I think this is the first time ever that I have given advice to both sexes, but it comes from a lifetime of experience seeing the exact same scenarios play out right in front of me:

  • Single men (or better yet, unhappily celibate men), realizing that they are single, will try to better themselves in a multitude of ways in order to attract a partner.
  • Taken men (men in marriages or very long term relationships) will remain more or less the same since the start of their relationship.


  • Single women will hardly ever change anything about themselves.
  • Women in relationships, having found a stable partner, start enjoying a host of new activities and hobbies and generally bettering themselves.

Now, why does this happen?

For men, it is the immeasurable, testosterone-soaked power of the masculine drive. It’s this drive, this passion to get shit done that attracts women, more so than the inevitable results of that action. Sure, you might be a fat broke slob right now, but given some time and dedication, you could drastically change your situation: you can work on your appearance, your wealth, your game and swagger, and you will see drastic improvements in your ability to attract the opposite sex, even with those goals nowhere near complete. For example, while I am in way better shape then when I was at my fattest, I still have the furthest thing from sweet abs, yet I went on a macking tear recently that ended with me finding an amazing girlfriend (and yes, she scores incredibly high on Roosh’s “Girl Score“).

However, oftentimes when a man becomes too relaxed and comfortable in his environment, his passion, dedication and all around drive drops. Maybe it’s a fear of diverging too far from the man she fell in love with, maybe it’s the tipping point where sexy aloofness turns into sloppy laziness. But by attempting to stay the same, that sexy, passionate drive disappears, and love usually follows with it.

However, with women, it’s the exact opposite. Single women just cannot get it into their heads that the reason they might not be able to find a suitable man lies squarely on their shoulders. Oftentimes, I hear them say that they “want a man who loves me for me,” but with their obsession with that concept, they become almost a caricature of themselves, projecting their worst qualities immediately into full view. While admittedly, some of these behaviors and are fun to read about and rip apart, in the end, the longer they are single, the more these caricatures begin to dominate their real personality.

However, women in relationships are a different animal. Once they feel like they have a supportive partner (who probably got with them by being driven himself), many of them begin a cycle of incredible growth, whether it’s educational, professional, spiritual or physical. Fun fact: when you look at, most of the hottest women you’ll see on that site got started with the help of a husband or boyfriend, and now they have slowed the dreaded aging process to a snail-like crawl.


Any excuse to post a picture of Tabitha Klausen. (Who, by the way started with the help of her boyfriend.)

So, what’s the point? Men don’t want women who become caricatures of themselves (although they will sleep with them): they want awesome, cool and pretty girls. Women don’t want to stay with a lazy, non-driven guy; however, they will stay with a guy she can grow with. To be attractive, as a man or a woman, at any time, you must continuously grow.

And fellas, even if your relationship doesn’t work out, but you continually improve yourself (like Tabitha’s husband), then you know you’re coming back to the singles scene at your sexiest.


And ladies, sure, other people might say that you lose value as you age, but if you are a kind, nurturing woman that takes care of herself, there will always be incredible suitors available to you. Just don’t forget about your appearance.


The woman above is 42.

Read Next: Women Are Just as Socially Retarded as Men