Matt Forney
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How to Survive Living Abroad by English Teacher X

English Teacher X’s fourth book, it’s a crash course on how not to get killed, scammed, raped or otherwise smacked around when you move abroad. A dream of many in the manosphere, living abroad can easily fuck you up if you aren’t prepared. ETX has lived abroad for the better part of twenty years in half-a-dozen different countries, making him more than qualified to espouse on expatriation:

Now – the exchange rates of the world, like the value of stocks and shares, have gone all over the place in recent years. But there’s been such inflation in the cost of living in third world countries, that the exchange rate is just as likely to hammer the dollar or euro as to help it.

(There was a lovely black market in currency exchange all around the world, especially in Eastern Europe, during the ‘90s, in which charming men in leather jackets with really bloodshot eyes would offer to buy your dollars, and perhaps drug you and fuck you up the ass. Now it’s the big banks that do all the fucking.)

How to Survive Living Abroad covers everything you could possibly want to know about the subject, from making money to visas to sex, drugs and disease. It’s leavened with ETX’s typical bleak humor, making reading it an absolute joy; I was cracking up after every other paragraph. The most valuable chapter is the one dealing with personal security, as ETX comprehensively guides you on how to protect yourself from thieves, pickpockets, and other criminals.

So try to find a hiding place for your valuables that can’t be scanned quickly. If you have a bunch of boxes and bags and bottles under your sink, or in your closet, maybe choosing one to hide stuff in would be a good idea; it would take a burglar a long time to go through all of them, and generally speaking, burglars don’t want to linger, especially since they might well have already spent quite a bit of time taking a dump on your floor and smelling your underwear and jerking off on your picture and so forth.

While more sensitive types might be off-put by ETX’s cynicism and writing style, How to Survive Living Abroad is easily one of the best resources out there for budding expats.

Click here to buy How to Survive Living Abroad.

Read Next: Guide to Teaching English Abroad by English Teacher X